Topic Tuesday // Live now! // Caring for someone with bipolar

[Heartworks]

Absolutely! Through an online blog I had for five years, trying to work it all out from my head and articulating my experiences 🙂

[Mama_Penguin]

Thanks ,just joining in now

[Jane4]

His psychatrist doesn't really agree so now he is on a mix of medications...it's a worry.

I also want to ask the forum if they have any suggestions about handling finance...I know my son has a huge credit card bill but he won't let me help and continues to spend... is this a symptom of bi-polar.

[Mazarita]

Hi everyone. I have bipolar and am interested in this subject. So that I can see things more from the other side of my partner caring for me. 

[NoviceCarer]

I tend to let off steam in a mad cleaning of the house frenzy.  It works for the most part, then exhaustion helps me collapse and sleep.  

[NikNik]

Welcome @Mama_Penguin 🙂

[Titanic]

I also wish I had an answer.  You see, my loved one was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That was after I threatened to have him locked up for his threatening behaviour. I grew up with a bipolar mother and never thought in my wildest dreams that my partner of 24 years would have the same disorder. 

I have been diagnosed with MS almost 3 years ago.  This was enough to trigger almost all demons.  Every time I was complaining about his ways people would bring it down to my "MS depression" and me not coping with life.  Now, that I have stood by him through all of this and he is getting better through being on the right medication and therapy, I am told that I will never have the privilige of needing a carer as I will have to be the carer for the rest of my life. 

I am thankful that I am not too sick, but I am mad at the situation.  I can care for myself as much as I would want to, but I will never be cared for.  

My mother has after 45 years "found a son she has been hiding" and has decided that I was not good enough after all. (She decided to never take the bipolar treatment), and now my partner needs "my understanding and careful consideration of his condition" if I want some caring for myself.  

Living with a person with bipolar is challenging.  You really have to dig very deep for that morsel of love that was once there...

[Mama_Penguin]

Hi Jane4, my son was16 when he was diagosed with "undefined psychosis" with schitzophenic tendencies by an experienced psychiatrist. We did not agree with her treatment approach so that led us to get a second opinion. 18 mths ago, my son was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 with psychosis. We really trust his psychiatrist and treatment plan. Not sure about the Black Dog Institute, but if you're unsure, maybe get a second opinion?

[NikNik]

Hi @NoviceCarer

Great question and I think it's something that many carers experience - how do you have difficult conversation...

Some key communication tips that some carers have shared before have included:

- Open the conversation stating how much you care, and that's why you want to bring up this topic

- Not being confrontational. Avoid terms like "You do xyz" something more appropriate might be "When you *insert behaviour* it makes me feel *insert the feeling or impact on you*."

- Don't raise the issue in the heat of the moment. Approach the topic when you & your loved one are both relaxed / calm

Does anyone else have any tips? 

Just wanted to flag that Jo is having some technical problems, but will be joining us again soon 🙂

[Jane4]

I find it hard as a carer to know when to try and help and when to step back...the constant rejection of my efforts can be very upsetting, but I keep telling myself it is just his condition.  On the occasions he seems like his old self it is truely wonderful and we can communicate easily and at a deep level...but those occasions are becoming rare...