Topic Tuesday // Supporting someone after a suicide attempt // 28 Nov. 7pm - 9pm AEDT

[Determined]

Hi @Former-Member & Dr Wayland
I was hoping to join in tonight but have a school function to attend so will have to catch up on the discussion later tonight.

My wife has attempted more than once this year with the most recent (and significant) around 6 months ago. She has spent around 4 months in hospital this year due to high risk. (6 admissions 2 of which were my call).

While she is doing ok at the moment now that things have settled down I have run out of energy am really not coping. It would seem that she has absolutely no insight on how her illness has affected our family rhis year.

[UNE]

That delayed grief and delayed trauma is unfortunately common @Former-Member - the literature we have reviewed for the study lists all of the impacts that caring can have - socially, emotionally, physically, financially. Your reflections were similar to some of the other stories like the one @Ann6 shared about a sense of hopelessness. Can I ask, is your hope for your daughter and the hope for yourself in learning how to live with this the same - or is the hope experience different?

[Former-Member]

Even with permission and being responsible person @Former-Member  communication by the treating team was very poor, assuming the patient is in a public hospital there are obligations to the carer.  I was not given appropriate information along the way.

As part of a complaint I lodged,  I have received an apology from the hospital about the lack of communication.

[UNE]

@Ann6 hope can be a very complex emotion. I did a whole PhD on the topic of hope and I must admit many of the people I interviewed said that they felt hope was pain. That the 'hope hangover' they experienced when hope was elevated made them crash even further when trauma occured. Has counselling helped, if its OK to ask. In terms of helping you manage the 'what ifs' alongside the 'what do I need to do now'. 

[Shaz51]

I found it hard , 60kms away from home , My husband only wanted me there , soo none of the family came up to support, felt totally alone in a red cross unit visiting my husband every day , I love him and I would do it again

my  experiences with mental health professionals , @Former-Member, @UNE they talked to me about everything But my husband would not follow their advice of taking time off, cutting back on things

also he chancelled all help once coming home

[Former-Member]

Drop by later when you can @Determined.  I'll keep the thread open until tomorrow.

[Former-Member]

@UNE - hope was one of the things that kept me going. There were times I did feel helpless but I held onto hope. That hope has deepened now mainly because my daughter has just recently (within the last month), turned a corner and has improved. So hope was not in vain and as a result has been strengthened

[Former-Member]

Very true @Former-Member.  I hope your complaint created some improvements in the hospital processes.

[UNE]

Lovely reflections @Former-Member hope has the capacity to wane and strenghten. I think recognising when hope returns, that it is possible, can help when it might vanish at other times.

Good to hear she has turned a corner.

[UNE]

Its good to have complaints acknowledged @Former-Member what we are hoping to do with our study is understand what systems need to be in place for carers of people who attempt, even when those attempts happen more than once. its important to speak up when care is delivered in an appropriate way - its also important to link the stories together like all of the ones shared here tonight.