Confused and unsure

[Tufflife]

Hi everyone

I am in a state of confusion and I am unsure what I am to do .
I started studying a diploma of nursing and I am doubting myself whether I can succeed and complete the 18months , what's made it worse is I saw my doctor today and she said that I am studying to much and really should find something that I am qualified to do.
It was like I went to get check up and ask about a referral to my psych again as I haven't seen her since September and I really could use a appt. but instead I come out more confused about what I am doing (study wise ) and no referral as she doesn't think I am eligible yet .

I feel so down and useless to the point that I not good at anything and that I am just making the wrong choices in life and the others around me don't believe that I am capable of doing the things I choose to do .
Sometimes I wonder why I am in this life .

[JoseJones]

@Tufflife,

Tufflife, it sounds like you're really quite down on yourself at the moment, and reevaluating where you're at.  Are you okay?  What sort of supports do you have around you?

[Tufflife]

@JoseJones

I am feeling quiet down at the moment, life just doesn't seem to be giving me a break. I am thinking about where I am at but I just don't know and I don't have support , I doing this alone , I place a mask on everyday , cause no one understands or they say it's not that bad just get over it .

[Former-Member]

Hi @Tufflife. I think it depends how you feel you are going. If you are coping with studying and you want to continue then do it. Do you trust your GP? . Do they know you well? I guess if the answer is yes maybe they are just looking out for you. I have tried to study at TAFE for the last 3 yrs unsuccessfully. Every term I would start feeling good and keen but every term I would fall in a heap and fail because I couldn't hold it together. My psychologist and course coordinator would always advise me against the load I was doing and I would think that this time I would do it but never did. This term I haven't enrolled and I thought that my world would collapse but it hasn't and I'm making progress with my MI for the first time. I haven't given up on studying but know I'm not in the right place yet to do so. If you do continue to study I would recommend seeing the student counsellor in the organisation. I found their help to be invaluable. It was great to have someone who could bat for you if needed, help with study routines etc and be an ear if you are having a hard time. Don't give up if you want this. It just may take a different route than you anticipated. Please don't feel down on yourself. I know this is easier said than done. I felt hopeless every time I had to fail another term of study and I kept pushing myself. I think if you could take some pressure off yourself it would help. I hope some of this helps. Wishing you the best😊💜

[Tufflife]

@Former-Member

I do trust my GP and I have known her for 13 yrs . She probably is looking out for me. With her help and my psych I managed to get thru the last 2 yrs of study , I had a big break down at Tafe and that's when I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, I had support for them and was able to push thru with their help. I've had a few months off and was job hunting and was being knocked back at every corner . Then I really thought about returning to study so I did and I do doubt myself .

I am down on myself as I see myself as a failure in life & a burden to the world .
Thanks for your words

[Former-Member]

Sorry @Tufflife. I may have misread your mood as I just read your last post. It is so very hard when no one understands and I get the mask wearing. I feel like I've spent half my life wearing one. Did your GP have any other options for support for you. You can talk to someone at beyond blue, lifeline anytime or sane during business hours. They may be able to offer you more support options. Thinking of you and wishing you the best. 💜

[Tufflife]

It's all good @Former-Member . My gp said that she would look at my MH plan next week other than that nothing from her . I know about the other I can call but it's a lil hard as my hubby and sister home so I would have no privacy to talk .
Silence is the only way in my household

[Former-Member]

I understand those feelings very much @Tufflife. I don't have any answers yet. I haven't been as brave as you and done the job hunting thing yet. It must be devastating at times. I'm unemployed but have an exemption but my time will one to experience what you are. Have you got options for a lighter load again. Something that will bring you some success without too much pressure. Have you support at TAFE now too. Maybe talking to them might help at this point. I really don't have any answers but am just trying to help.

[JoseJones]

@Tufflife,

It's really awful being knocked back for jobs and not knowing what direction you want to take.  I've been through it myself.  I'm sorry that you think you're a burden to the world.  Maybe you could give Lifeline a call if you're feeling really low?  The number is 13 11 14.

I'm wondering, are there any qualities in yourself that you like?  What do you think your friends see in you?

[Former-Member]

I used the lifeline chat because I didn't want my kids to hear but I understand having people around and not feeling like you have privacy. Crossing my fingers for you