Hi @mumof4adults
Welcome to the forum. So sorry to hear of your ongoing trials.
Unfortunately I don't have any answers for you but can empathise with how you are feeling, while our situations are different I have experienced and can relate to what you are saying about being pulled in so many directions when you are having a hard time yourself. As a result of my families situation I have experienced what I have only recently identified as 'carer burnout'.
You mentioned
It would be so hard to deal with anyway but when I'm the main carer for this gorgeous girl with serious mental health issues, it's almost impossible. I have to deal with my own grief and help her with panic attacks and her mental health. and
It's easy to say and to know that you need to look after yourself but so hard to do when everyone around you needs your support...
This is exactly as I have felt and some of these feelings have resurfaced in the past week due to some specific triggers within our family. I too have an issue of unresolved grief as a result of placing caring responsibilities ahead of my own wellbeing. And on reflection, in my situation I cant see how I could possibly have done anything different other than seek professional support and guidance much sooner.
I have only been on this forum for a short amount of time but have found it to be invaluable in being able to get thoughts out share in others stories and not feel so alone.
Here is an older post that has re-surfaced in the last couple of days that I have gained some insight from, you may like to take a look at it Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much
I realy hope that being in this space and being able to get things out helps you to not feel so alone.
I don't know if I have been of any help but happy to be another ear.
