โ14-05-2021 09:55 AM
โ14-05-2021 09:55 AM
Now that Mr Darcy has passed and my caregiving role has come to an end and I have entered a different season of grief it is time for me to step aside from the forum.
I use the term "different season" as we know that as a caregiver we have "living grief". Living grief encompasses the losses we as carers have when our loved ones receive a life changing diagnosis and the losses can be huge. Some we rail against, others we accept . We pray that our loved will have healing or remission from their symptoms, especially the darker ones.
We experience a plethora of emotions, at times some of them new and uncomfortable. We feel scared, guilty, angry, frustrated and at times hopeless and helpless; at other times we feel love, hope, courage and determination. Getting comfortable to sit with our uncomfortable emotions and learning which ones require action on our behalf and which ones don't can be helpful.
Building resilience through self care with particular attention to the 8 dimensions of wellness is important and puts us in an optimal position to cope with the things life throws at us and I gently encourage you all to continue to do this.
Adequate sleep and gratitude are gifts that keeps on giving keep finding things to laugh about, but above all, love fiercely.
It has been a privilege getting to know you and I cannot thank you enough for the support you have so freely give and how this has helped me grow, Bless you all @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Determined @Smc @Sophie1 @Sophia1 @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Adge @Emelia8 @greenpea @outlander @Carlachris @SJT63 @Scoo @Jay-e @Boo13 @Anastasia @Maggie , from my early days @soul @PhoenixRising @Grasshopper3 and too many others to mention.
Thanks to the gardeners and the the declutterers, you hold a special place in my heart.
โ14-05-2021 10:13 AM
โ14-05-2021 10:13 AM
you will be always with us @Former-Member ...... as will Mr. Darcy through you ...... ๐๐๐
Many, many hugs, and very best wishes for your onward journey. I appreciate so much all the times you have been there for me, and the sharing of an ethos of what it means to be a carer, until the changes in my ex showed him up to be something else entirely than the unwell man I thought he was ..... your example of ongoing "grace under fire" is a beacon for me as I walk on in the carer role with my recovering children, and my "forever baby" ......
God bless xxx
โ14-05-2021 10:16 AM
โ14-05-2021 10:16 AM
@Former-Member ... it is really sad to see you leave, but I do understand.
As you know, I too am no longer a carer, with the death of my husband 4 weeks ago. It leaves a huge hole in our life.
I thank you for the wonderful support you have provided to so many of us here over the last 4 or 5 years. I wish you well and every success in whatever you now decide to do in your life.
Love and hugs to you
Emelia ๐ค๐
โ14-05-2021 10:34 AM
โ14-05-2021 10:34 AM
@Former-Member I wish you all the best on the next chapter of your life, and it is understandable you don't want be on the forums and need to move on. I totally get it.
The expression 'living grief' is so true. There isn't a beginning and an end, it is a dynamic process and a dynamic feeling as well, with lots of ups and downs and it waves for many, many years.
I hope that you can create a safe place for yourself to rest and be cosy and warm with the puppies in a place of your choosing.
I was so touched by your description of your husband as having 'gentle strength'. That is something I really strive for in myself and admire if I see it in others.
Big squishy hugs, Love always Corny
โ14-05-2021 11:32 AM
โ14-05-2021 11:32 AM
Bless and move quietly forward on the path towards peace. Thankyou for your kindness and thoughtfulness, your laughter and gentleness at times has been uplifting.
the days will be strange for awhile but will somehow become brighter for you and yours. Find your joy in the little things that's where the sparkle lives and remember the goodtimes.
Time...it always takes time.
Condolences and Bless from mine to yours. ๐ท๐น๐ท
โ14-05-2021 11:38 AM
โ14-05-2021 11:38 AM
@Former-Member, part of me wants you to stay, but if it's time for you to move on, I'll trust your call.
Will miss your "checking in", chats about gardens and all the rest.
Lots of love and prayers, and all the best for your future.
โ14-05-2021 02:03 PM
โ14-05-2021 02:03 PM
@Former-Member
I understand Mr Darcy's passing means big changes for you.
Your input on the forum has been foundational and inspiring. So many good ideas. Thank you
Apple
โ14-05-2021 02:08 PM
โ14-05-2021 02:08 PM
@Former-Member Best Wishes to you...
โ14-05-2021 02:10 PM
โ14-05-2021 02:10 PM
@Former-Member Oh sweetheart thinking of you at this time beautiful lady. Omg will I miss your wit and kindness. Oh Darcy. Love you my sweetheart. peaxxx
โ14-05-2021 03:04 PM
โ14-05-2021 03:04 PM
Dear @Former-Member
Getting to know you has been a pleasure. Thank you for your friendship and wisdom.
I wish you only good fortune and happiness moving forward.
Keep taking care, love always xox
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