14th year house bound

[Jacques]

Hi @JoseJones,

I am struggling to control my heart beat and by breathing is irregular, i have been SH all day to cope.

[hiddenite]

The girls are sound asleep.

I took them to a school fate today they had fun, then went to the playground.

I'm sorry your not sleeping Jacques, that'something else you need to discuss with your Dr.

Sleep is so important. 

You cannot function properly, have the energy to fight the panic attacks, it's the first thing you need to try and improve.

How many coffees are you up to a day Jacquess.?

I have been told by so many psych that the key to managing mental health is sleep.

When I see my treating team it the first thing they want to know. How my sleep is and the quality.

You need to work out j why your not sleeping and go step by step to improve it.

I wish I could help more but some night meds wil lcertainly help.

[hiddenite]

Jacques you need to try and slow everything down.

Start with your breathing take a slow deep breath in counting to 5 slowly.

Then breathe out slowly counting to 7.

Try this a few times over see if your breathing  has slowed.

If not try again.

You have done it before j and you can do it again.

[Jacques]

Wow they must have had a full day, it is good they are getting some sleep, for another big day tomorrow.  They are so lucky to have you as their mum Karen, i know so many parents where i live that do nothing with their children, kids are so bored where i live.  it is so sad to see.

OMG a school fate and the playground, i used to love fates, candy apples and fairy floss. i suppose it has all changed now.

you are right my angel, sleep is important, i think that is why i am struggling lately, i have no energy at all, i feel so tired all the time, please don't ask about the coffees, i think i am up to 11, maybe 9, i don't really keep count, i usually have 3 by 10am.

Karen talking to you helps me a lot, i feel so calm when i talk to you, you give me something else to think about.  how are you Karen? how is your moods and thoughts?

[Jacques]

Sorry Karen, i am really tired, i hope you get a good sleep and you have a great day tomorrow, i am not going for my day out tomorrow.

thinking of you my angel, will talk tomorrow, good night

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques

At least you don't have to worry about going out today. There is one positive.

What are you up to today?

Have you tried your deck chair out while listening to music yet?

I'm going to try for a quiet day, as tomorrow I'm going to have to mow again. I'm not looking forward to it.

I'm feeling really run down and low, no energy and everything hurts. Even just sitting here my muscles and joints are hurting terribly. I've got so much I should be doing.

Why does everything in my life revolve around pain?

I miss you j

Take care

Karen

[Jacques]

hi my angel,

We'll today I cleaned the car windows, mopped all the floors, cleaned the bathroom and this afternoon am going to vacuum the floors.

Oh yes I tried it out yesterday, I was sitting out their yesterday morning and posted you a message, it was so nice, but it is getting a little warm to sit out their now, the roof is like an oven, aaaaah always something, may have to wait until winter.

I do hope you have a quiet day, you are working so hard all the time, I don't know how you do it.

Yes I too struggle with the mowing, and I only have to do a quarter of whatwhat you do, how you manage with a push mower I don't know, have you thought about getting a ride-on?

Karen you are really pushing yourself lately, I do hope you manage some rest today, I think that is why you are feeling low and have no energy, you do too much.

I have the same problem, I too struggle with aching joints and muscles, and headaches, oh the headaches.

Karen, iI hope the girls can occupy themselves today, please rest I think I am already finished for the day, I feel like I could fall asleep writing this to you now 😮

I have missed you terribly Karen, but I know you are busy with the girls and you are tired, please only write to me when you feel like it, no pressure, I am always here when you are up to talking.

Take care my angel 😇 

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Oh Jacques you have been so busy already. No wonder you could fall asleep.

I'm glad you tried it out. Sounds like you get very warm weather all the time Jacques.Melbourne weather you never know what youre going to get. Hot, cold, raining, storms all in one day.

Yes I get the headaches too. I put it down to not drinking enough water.My goodness Jacques you sure do drink a lot of coffee. I was wondering if it could be why the anxiety is worse?

I know that when I have too many sugary drinks the anxiety and symptoms become a lot worse. Also it's a lot harder to control the shaking and low mood.

The dark thoughts are still with me, these new ones have taken me by surprise. Much darker than what they were. A lot harder to resist. I'm sure the change in medication has something to do with it.

Hope you are doing ok?Thinking of you Jacques

Karen

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques
Just checking in to see how you are going.
I worry that you sh so much, I wish there was something I could do to help you

[Jacques]

Sorry my angel i had to sleep i was so tired, i only managed an hour and a half, but it seems to have been enough.

oh yes we are already getting 35+ degree days, the weather never changes here, every day is the same, with a little rain in between, it must be good and bad getting all different types of weather, how do you know what to wear for the day?

Yes i do think the amount of coffee i drink has a big impact on my MH, but i only drink coffee and water, i am addicted to caffiene too, which does not help.

Oh my angel, still with the dark thoughts, yes it could be the medication, mum says i have been more suicidal since i started on mine.  Karen you must resist the urge to act on them, knowing it is just the medication, you must fight, no matter how exhausted you are, i am standing with you fighting too Karen, you are not alone with this 🙂

I am feeling a little flat today, but not bad so i am ok with that.  it has just become overcast here, not that Not that we are going to get any rain, but it does take the sting out of the sun, which is nice.

I do hope my angel you are managing some rest, my thoughts are with you too 

Jacques