Fragile

[Appleblossom]

Thanks for your offer of support @Jacques I post over here when feeling fragile.

[Jacques]

i have added it to my email notices, hugs my dear friend @Appleblossom 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Appleblossom 

Funeral for my aunty 

But nothing for my uncle , just a very quiet wake 

And a wedding for Step D1 which was Saturday xx 

[Appleblossom]

I first heard of Bowen and family systems theory around 1990, while seeing a family therapist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSdliwdAQH4 

This is very interesting and puts him as a person who is also a therapist and theorist.  Can understand why his foundation has become a little like a cult. 

To try and open the relationship system....and deal with the reality of ... the death issue.

and about differentiating the self ... within the spousal dyad

psychic energy to between wife and husband changes when child comes ....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TetS0OifzUQ 

I like his thoughtfulness

how does family ego mass deal with immaturity and anxiety

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqoBKujwLfg 

1) marital conflict

2) illness/dysfunction in one member

3) projecting it on to the future generation ... the child

It is interesting to see the historical context ... and mindset ...the person ...  the chalkboard ...B&W ... which was the culture of my FIL ... attempts to make emotional things qualitative ... but recognition that not all factors in system can fit on one diagram.

Reflect on the difference between the the world of my FIL and ex husband and the world I grew up in and the world of my maternal side.  Totally different with little in common, however the problem was and still is ... the assumptions people throw around about what is normal ...

also the impossibility of my position ... and my lack of knowledge or awareness of that when I took on my first child.

[Appleblossom]

More on Bowen theory by the current director ...

Putting Freud in perspective, whereas when I was at uni, Freud was put on same level as Darwin and Newton etc ...

Aaaah ... moving into current times ,,, this director had/has a brother with Schizophrenia ... 

as in moving from medical model which saw mental illness as physical and focus on pathology ... to a more social interactional level ...without blame ... but still relating levels of distress with what is actually going on.

aha aha ... and my interest in the primate family at my local zoo ... and what is "normal" behaviour within given circumstances ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORINzjpiNQ0 

including ... modern advances in neuroscience ...

and

"core self"

Reflecting that Bowen ... was a wonderful counterpoint to all the Hollywood representations of love and family ... and the the more physical sciences as the space program ... would influence his thinking ... whereas now ... we have access to more info re the brain and behaviour.

aha aha ... reflect on our reflections ...lol

[Appleblossom]

Today is a good day.  Mother's Day. Plans with my son.

Yesterday was good with friends social and environmental.

All my upset about that difficult medicolegal interview has been channelled to my lawyer with lots of corrections to his significant mistakes. Hope that it goes alright, but not investing emotionally in it, as it is too upsetting.  It will be what it will be.

Also reflecting ... not to confuse helpful theories for my journey:

Bowen for Family Systems Theory (US)

Bowlby for Attachment Theory (UK)

@Anastasia @Eve7 @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Historylover @Jacques @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope 

Wishing everyone the best possible Mother's Day ... 

[Shaz51]

hello and hugs my    @Appleblossom 

had 2 meessages from 2 step children out of 4 today xoxo

[Appleblossom]

Thats nice. @Shaz51 Good to see you.

I got a special hug.

Yesterday I reorganised my wall photos into the different generations.  Not putting all my loved ones together, but having a different spot for those who have passed 

[Shaz51]

Yes @Appleblossom 

Trying to turn part of mum's house into our little part --- even though I own half the house is being very hard to do since I still feel it is still grandma's and my mum's house 

[Jacques]

Happy mothers day @Appleblossom and @Shaz51 I hope you both had a great day. I took my mum out for lunch. She had a nice day