Fragile

[AuntGlow]

Hello and hugs everyone @Shaz51 @heartathome @Dimity @AlwaysMyself @Appleblossom 🫶

[heartathome]

Thanks for the tag @Appleblossom As long as you know I care. My psych once told me that we're only as well as our sickest child. It's so hard to watch our children suffer! We only want the best for them and to see them happy! 💛

[AuntGlow]

Here with you, lovely. @Appleblossom 

I am so glad you will have some time to connect with family, I am sure this will be really nice for you (and for them). 

I can understand why your reserves would be depleted or you might be experiencing inflammation with all that you have going on... 

Because things are so vulnerable, what is one thing you could do to make this time a little more manageable? 💛

[Appleblossom]

I got through leading the singing group this afternoon, though called the session short, as my son was really not well enough, but showed up to his commitment best as he could.

The wash is on and I will hang it up. I will curl up in foetal postion and meditate, and get up when the boys/men return from their country drive.

Dinner is already prepared. Low stress Jamaican slowcook beef and vegies. Both men will appreciate it. I used to think of them as the boys, but they are in middle age. I am proud at how they are doing their best and showing manly affection, support and camraderie in a really healthy way and reconnecting after other stepfamily members were fragmenting relationships. My nephew said he knew my cats were used to a chilll calm caring household in the way they behave. It is true. He is noticing my work in the garden that shows longterm steady tending.

I wish the so called community MH services had more respect for us. They are confused, misguided and seemingly unaware of the harm they do and are being paid for it. It is a social concern, that they can get things so wrong and is an abuse of their duty of care. I just have to paddle through it. No matter what happens, know my son is a decent human, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.

I am used to breaking things down to essentials. @AuntGlow I cancelled a usual choir practise this evening and next week with plenty of notice. I have a recorder trio in my home tomorrow after a zoom with psychologist. 

I will rest and do a little music practice and try and sleep early. The men are planning on an early night.

It feels like the wheels of destiny turning, but I do not know how it will unfold. I can only hope and pray.

[Dimity]

If this is the difficult week @Appleblossom I trust the authorities and divine providence are kind.

 My roses are in flush.

[Appleblossom]

yes it is coming up 

great to see you @Dimity 

prayers for your challenges.

i had a beautiful day singing the People's Messiah today with my son. It was good to hear him sing. Sustenance for the week.

My sense of dread is hard to shift. I just have to move through it.

M

M

[Dimity]

Praying you find healing for your bruises @Appleblossom . And that you sleep easier tonight.

[AlwaysMyself]

Im so glad singing with your son went well yesterdsy @Appleblossom . Cherish the memory 🥰 i hope.

I recall there was also a stressful court even this week too, and i am praying and hoping it goes "as well as possible". 🤗 *hugs*

Here if you want to brief or debrief.

[Appleblossom]

@AlwaysMyself Thanks for caring.

I mentioned it on the Highlights thread.

The prosecutor withdrew the charge at the last minute. It was a frivolous and unnecessary charge and waste of taxpayers money.  Typical stigma and discrimination and poor comprehension, so therefore poor record keeping on the part of the so-called services.  Probably shouldnt say to much more for legalistic and anonymity constraints. However, it is an issue SANE may put more policy and advocacy into.

@Dimity thank you for walking with me through it all. It really mattered and helped to be able to be authentic and express myself.

I was probably worse behaved than my son, as I spoke freely a few times, in calm measured polite understated tones, including about partly being on NDIS due to witnessing police brutality.  Not really expressed it that before, but the chronologies match up.  Went to NEAMI in 2018, after son's first massive police experience, and they rolled me over onto NDIS end 2019.

Its part of why I am patient and polite about SANE RECOVERY guidelines, but also not that convinced if it is the only value upheld, without concern for people with deeper, longer term mental health challenges.  It can sometimes imply the person is the problem, (cos they didnt do the "work") and not acknowledge that the world is not a level playing field, and people have significantly different trauma loads. I do applaud RECOVERY as an important value if it is within a suite of values that cover the whole mental health field, not just the ones with simpler presentations.

@AuntGlow @heartathome @Shaz51 

[Dimity]

I too have doubts about  uncritical indiscriminate use of the recovery language and model @Appleblossom . I read a day or two ago how folk with psychosocial disability may be excluded from NDIS in future as many aren't amenable to rehabilitation.  Interesting if folk with eg permanent musculoskeletal and sensory impairments are regarded as fixable - maybe give them the right technologies and they contribute economically??? I'm not sure of the reasoning. 

I've tried to do my bit advocating to SANE for folk with more complex/longterm mh difficulties. 

Quite concerned to hear of your experiences. Mine were less troubling ɓut carried over into trust issues.