Fragile

[Zoe7]

Your psych should be helping you with those self worth issues @Appleblossom rather than making you feel like they are. It is definitely time to consider changing therapists - it does seem that they are not helping you at all and infact making life more difficult for you. You need (and deserve) someone that will put things in palce with you to help with your issues and especially with helping you sort through your self worth issues. They are not doing their job at all well with what you have described and you deserve so much better.

I personally think you need to talk to your GP this week and find someone better for you. You are an intelligent person who knows what you need and this relationship with your psych seems to have become more toxic than helpful and that is detrimental to you moving forward in a positive way - a fresh look at someone knew is very much needed. It will mean you have to start from scratch again but that also may not be a bad thing as a new person may have different perspectives and new ways to deal with what you have been through. Goodluck with it all Apple - never easy to start a fresh with someone new but in this instance very much needed I believe.

[MDT]

I'll have a read over what you've put down @Appleblossom but a bit later on. About to hit work in ten mins. Hope you're okay though.

[frog]

Hi @Appleblossom I really want to echo what @Zoe7 said. This psych is doing more harm than good. Meds are not even her business, unless you raise it.

Sounds like your pdoc is good, and the Chemist. I'm a regular at my local Chemist and they are really respectful and friendly and generally treat me like a person first. Really valuable.

I would stop seeing the psych. Next stop GP to get a new referral. I'd also say that you may need extra (GP) support in the transition to a new psych if there's a wait time.

I fully appreciate what you're saying about putting up with things. I have been the same most of my life - only recently learning to act sooner rather than later. You deserve better!

[Faith-and-Hope]

I agree @Appleblossom .  This person doesn’t sound like a good match for you, or your circumstances .....

I was seeing a psych for support in the West got three years, and have started with another one now here in the east.  Both work out of an old house with a definite homey feel and garden, kitchen to make a tea or coffee if you want, and are listening, caring, and unpretentious people.  I imagine you with someone like this, and they are out there.  

Perhaps the premesis is an indication of the person who works there too.  If you were to look up some counsellors (recommenced ?) and do a drove-past where they work, orcheck it out online if they have images, it might help you narrow down someone who is more suitable to what you need ..... what you need being the critical focus.

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Zoe7 @frog @MDT 

I have a problem with distinguishing between, tolerating, putting up with, and punishing myself.  Actually I just never had the opportunity to talk over life issues until I came here on the forum and developed the relationships with you all. Now I can discuss one or two things at a time instead of ten or twenty.

A couple of doctors have told me its alright to move on after three years.  That might be all they have to give me, and dont let hard feelings develop.  SO I am throwing her card in bin and deleting her from my phone. She did help me set up a team of support as she complained that she was struggling with the stuff on my own, but that has been in place for over 18 months and pretty stable so I had hoped we had actually do some therapy, she would wave me off or deflect me.  I would hear about @eth  or @Zoe7 positive therapuetic experiences and keep asking myself why is not that happening. I dont live in a good areas for therapists @Faith-and-Hope  so I have travelled into CBD. I have seen a few websites that I like the look of ... time will tell.  Thank you for letting me get clear, and have a TIMELY chat without brooding and turning it over & over and within and against me.

The issue of what is process and what is personal ... is huge.

I received a phone call saying I can start an inhouse 10 week mental health course.  I like the organisation and that will help me manage the transition.  Though when I start I may reduce time on the forum, but its not tell end April.

[Zoe7]

The 10 week mental health course sounds like a good transition for you @Appleblossom and has come at a really good time for you. You can begin the search for a new psych in the meantime. You definitely deserve someone who not only listens to you but can provide you with the therapy you need. We all deserve that. I know that many have not found the same level of care in their treating professionals that some of us have but hoping very much that you can find someone that is caring, empathetic and above all supportive of you and your needs 

[Queenie]

Hey @Appleblossom  thanks for tagging me. I’ve just started with a new psych and for the first time, my self confidence has been highlighted as something to work on. Something I’ve been trying to get a psychologist to see for a long time. A lot of my past psychs have seen schizoaffective and only want to work on that without seeing the whole person. I say if you aren’t satisfied that a particular form of therapy isn’t helping or you don’t click with a psych, don’t stick with it/them. You deserve treatment that is a help not a hindrance.

[Appleblossom]

@Queenie @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @frog @outlander @Sans911 @eth @Exoplanet @CheerBear 

I have found someone somewhat local who says they like "working with people" and will bulk bill if I can arrange it through gp (appointment tomorrow).  Thanks for helping me be business like about my personal life.

I bought diary ($11)  for next tax year and added sufficient dates through to January.  Weekends and workshops I would like to do to make it possible for me to look forward to life.

I think I am slowly getting on top of my suicidal ideation, but still being careful. Never a good idea to get too cocky.

[outlander]

that is good news @Appleblossom 🙂
please keep reaching out for as much help as you need especially when your suicidal or idealation

[Zoe7]

Great news @Appleblossom and great that they will bulk bill - hope they are a good fit for you and you feel comfortable with them. It is not easy to start fresh again with someone else but it is better than the stalemate you seemed to have with the other psych. Let us know how it all goes - will have everything crossed for you that it works out.