Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[PeppiPatty]

DEar @Shaz51

Last week, I was grouchy. I felt frustrated that there was no avenues for me and my husband to purchase a home. In that we are both on a pension and there is no way that we will be able to work anymore and there is no Government programs for us to get a home.

Anyway, I had a bee in my bonnet and was looking looking for an oppertunity and was thinking maybe we could get a  small mortgage and was looking at some beautiful little cottages in the country of Western Australia, down South. We can't.

But my husband said that he hated living in public housing and we instead am looking for a rental around the city iof Perth. I forget about his condition and it's difficult.

No matter what @Shaz51 he works very hard at keeping me safe and feeling relaxed.....when it came to your husband, I felt that he had that.....extra kick to ensure that you felt the same as me. 

How are you ? 

[Shaz51]

Hello my dearest @PeppiPatty xx

what you said --he works very hard at keeping me safe and feeling relaxed.....when it came to your husband, I felt that he had that.....extra kick to ensure that you felt the same as me. -- This is totally true my friend

and I think because we love our husbands soo much we want to make life easier for them for them

How are you today @PeppiPatty

[Former-Member]

hello @Shaz51 @PeppiPatty @Former-Member

oh what a beautiful response. tears in my eyes reading that.

thinking of you both xxxx

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Former-Member 

( @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @artee @Chris @Jacques @Former-Member @Former-Member @NikNik @CherryBomb  @Zoe7 ....

  @Mazarita @Decadian 

What keeps me going is that I can write even really quickly online and know Im being heard. 

Thanks @Former-Member 

Your message helps me feel zapped in and prepared  and that I'm doing the right thing. My son came to our place last night and he said that he does'nt want to see my Mother because she complains so much about me. When I rang Mum when he was here, she started complaining about him.....I said to her that he could hear; my two sons are amazing wonderful people. 

He got after about half an hour and left caught a train to work. I am so so happy that he is seeing my middle brother next week. I so hope he doesnt slip back into bad behaviour.

Your message was lovely to read in this mess........

PP

[artee]

Hi @PeppiPatty

I haven't logged in for a while, but then read your post about getting a mortgage. I hear you on that. About 18 months ago, I was told by a very rude lending manager from a major bank, that people like us (hubby with his brain injury and me, his carer) had CHOSEN to live this way and that no bank would be willing to take risks on people like us who don't want to improve their lives. She went on to say that the pension wasn't for anyone to get ahead, but to make ends meet while we transitioned back to JOBS. After reeling from that, I found a lovely man in Bank West who said she should be reported (and I did, with no response), and that she was wrong. Then a third man from Aussie Homeloans found me four lenders (not the big four) who would loan to pensioners, so if you were told you can't have a small mortgage, keep asking, if that's the way you think you could go.

I am still with family since before Christmas, but will be doing the long trip back to Qld on the weekend, so I can continue renovation and getting the house certified for occupation so we can live there (soon I hope!). Eighteen months ago, that too was a pipe dream and I too was wondering how we could even rent privately, to get us out of our caravan.

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @artee

How are you ? My computer

not pressing likes 

not letting me write to friends like @Former-Member @los .....I am trying to get through but all I think about is another useless piece of artwork I want to do..........

It's just really ovely hearing from you because your situation was something that I think about

You are not a victim and you keep on going.

The bank compliant needs to be put in again and again. It's annoying and typical isnt it? 

Maybe you should attach a letter from your husband's Gp just to punch in the ( emphasise ) the validity of your complaint. Or that the BankWest lady may forward it ?

My poor husband is strugging, my brother is over and there is not space to talk to him......my son is struggling but at least he's seeing a Gp and he is on meds. 

I need to write that all again.

My meds have gone up. I suffer headaches and always forget to purchase headache tablets.

My husband has me and his Mother to help him through his struggles..

My Brother is over in PErth working hard until Sunday.

At last after 5 years, my youngest son is seeing a Gp and is on medication. I miss my oldest son terribly. He lives in Queensland. 

Please write along the long way home,

I write to you ..... all the way in PErth, 

PP 

[Shaz51]

Hello @artee

It is sooooooo lovely to see you

my hubby thinks i need some meds to help me

went and saw the doctor but she just gave me extra meds for my reflux which is playing up

but she said we will have a talk next time

Hello @PeppiPatty, @Former-Member

[artee]

Hi @PeppiPatty
In a second night in a motel, half way through our long and hot journey back to Qld. Our kitty, who travels with us, suffered from heat and stress today, so I put an ice brick under him! He thought that was wonderful and wouldn't let me take it away.

Good thoughts on the bank complaint.

Decided to take two more nights to return instead of one, since it's around 40 through NSW.  Much better for all to drive less and sit in air conditioned motels more. Finding a lot more accept pets, which is good.

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @artee

I think we need to either discuss meds and partners or start a new thread and I vote, lets start a new thread.....

lets start up friendship in getting on day by day with partner and moving homes ???

My husband and I are good today. I have huge amounts of work to do with my novel.....we are seeing my PSyhotherapist on WEdnesday and am finding names and writing up the plot in the next two days.

Can I check with you and ask you to start a new thread? 

WE need to stay in contact on how we do. How are you coping with 

Husband. heat. Meds ( is he still thinking that you are the problem ?) 

I've reaslised that my husband has had NO insight in his day by day stuff. His condition is very confusing for him and he is working hard at making my life easier. 

When he is in the throws of his condition, he can be critical and like.....he is in another world....

I have posted a thread on carers......

Thankyou for replying....love the story on the kitten. My dog Arlo will be fighting the ice with her !! 

PP

[Former-Member]

hello @PeppiPatty @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @BlueBayand all others

I am not in a very good place. I have read some posts on some days. I dont think i have responded to any since I said I was cutting down my time on here.

Peppi, I feel very much for you, carrying the pain next to your love for your husband and...... two sons?

When I was driving back from the local shops the other day, I thought I saw my son. I drove around the block and then up and down the side streets looking for him. My thought was, he has come here to find me, he wants me to help him.

When I got home I was so upset then gradually talked myself through the fact that if it was my son, he would ring me continually or his dad and ask his dad to ring me.  He would not be walking down the side street of this small country town.

Pain does strange things to our minds. I cant begin to imagine the pain and fear in my son's head.

I am so relieved that your son is taking medication now and might start to feel some relief, assisting him to have a better quality of life.

This is also what you wish for yourselves and husbands, any of your family struggling with mental illness.

Peppi, I am going to be firm with you. You do not make any useless pieces of artwork. Your artwork is an extension of you and all the beauty that you have within. So please, treat your precious artwork gently, hold it and feel that in creating something of beauty you are giving to your loved ones in a way no other can.

Sorry, hope not too deep

love to you all, think of you, am doing as i am told and standing back, not taking on anyone else's pain.

stay safe xxxx