How do you cope with triggers?

[BlueBay]

See I think this is my BPD behaving really bad.  Catastrophising and seeing the 'bad side' of everything.

I really need to stop doing this.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member  I know exactly what you are talking about.  Maybe it is because I too am a PTSD sufferer but I know what you are saying.

There is a thread on here, and every time I post on it, until I successfully push the name of it out of my head I have this totally irrational visceral response.  My heart almost beats out of my chest, I literally begin to shake, I feel short of breath and I feel that draw of the black depths pulling back into it.  I have to consciously calm myself with "affirmations" and reassurance and rationality.

I cannot control this.  The first time it happened when I saw the name of the post I didn't even understand why it was happening, why I had been triggered.  I reached into my mind to try to understand it and then I realised.  It wasn't even something I had considered. But then once I identified what the subconscious connection was, and after being totally surprised it was the "trigger"..  I was slowly able to start controlling it.  I did not enter that thread that night or for a few days afterwards.  It was nothing to do with the content, the title alone triggered it.  

I can now go to that thread but the first 15 or so mins I am there, while I push out the irrational response and think through it, I still get that same response.

I am a very rational person.  I am an "in your head" type of thinker, yet still I have the types of responses you describe.  It is PTSD related, there is no doubt about it.  It is physiological and it is neurological.

The way I am trying to control mine is through neuroplasticity.  I learnt about a Canadian PhD researcher who is proving its validity and I use that process.  I did use it even before finding her and because it started working for me is why I researched it and found her.  Not the other way around.

It's horrible, it's mysterious.. but it is very real and I suffer from it too.

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Former-Member You seem to belong ... but its hard when everything feels personal.

There is a huge range of intensity when triggered and I have been beside myself for a whole week .. from not being able to stop myself seeing something very triggering for 3 secs.

We dont always know whether our emotions will go for a roller coaster ride .. or we can say .. Yeah .. been there .. thats horrible .. and move on.

Even when we have lots of skills and practice mindfulness and all the right things .. and I have been at it a while ... it can happen out of the blue ....

Taking things personally is helpful sometimes .. if it helps us walk in another shoes .. but sometimes its hard enough to walk in our own shoes ...

At times I feel better reading stories as I dont feel so alone.

At others I cannot take another sad story as I am at breaking point.  it may not have anything to do with the story or the person .. just my timing.

[Former-Member]

Maybe I'm personalising everything, but I read much of what was said as a judgement on my lack of coping skills and it was explicitly stated that "I don't allow their pain to become about me" and "if we can't cope with other's distress that may trigger than the best way to cope is to not read their threads on a mental health forums until we feel strong enough to give back."
It's not under my control if I react to a post. I just wanted to know how to cope with it.
I think I'm going to move on from this conversation.

[Former-Member]

Yes exactly - I don't allow others pain to become about me, "referring to myself", as that stops me from being triggered and allow me to better "support others" - and that is the way "I" cope. As does not reading others threads that may trigger me if I am feeling vulnerable for "self" preservation.  No judgement on my part, was just answering the question. But my expression on how I cope or my opinion on it was definitely judged. Oh the irony and hypocrisy. This just validates my first post regarding triggering going around and around causing distress..

I wish the personal attacks on here would stop - that does make this forum unsafe. When one cannot even safely post an answer to a question put forward, which is all I did, without someone wrongly making it personal when it wasnt, it was a total over reaction. Everyone's personal expression here on how they cope with triggers is respected by me and I just ask for the same respect. 

[Zoe7]

I am giving a very 'general' response - again - to this question as this is one thread that I am presently being very careful with when and if I read in my current state. ...and that is for my own personal self-care.

Firstly - we all know this is a very complex and difficult topic. That does not mean it should not be asked - and does deserve to be answered/debated by anyone and everyone that has some input.Whatever input anyone has - however small or large - is both valued and important. We all see things differently and that difference is important when others are seeking help with trying to figure out something in themselves or their own life that they are finding challenging or difficult. Having a variety of responses - from different perspectives - helps in 'wading through the muddy waters until one finds their own speck of gold'.

Secondly - it is very true that everyone who is part of this forum is here because they need to feel connected and/or supported by others who have had similar experiences/knowledge  with regards to MH issues. Everyone is welcome, everyone deserves to heard and everyone belongs.

Lastly - it is a safe place when we can acknowledge that although everyone has their own 'struggles', opinions and ways of seeing things, and are in different places at various times, like any community this is what makes us work - for without those differences we would not be able to pose such questions and receive a range of responses of which some resonate with one section of the community and some with others. This is the beauty of difference - and this is what not only builds a community but makes it stronger.

How does this address the question? everyone is different and everyone has experiences in coping with triggers - whatever they may be. Being able to share how one copes with triggers is just as important as sharing how one doesn't cope - both are learning experiences for oneself and each other -  and this sharing of knowledge can only benefit the whole of the community.

[Former-Member]

"without someone wrongly making it personal when it wasn't, it was a total over reaction"
Thanks, so now I 'totally over react'.
Dig yourself a little deeper next time.

[Former-Member]

The only thing dug here is poisonous claws at me lol. But Oh well, It's all good I have survived much worse, I am thick skinned and it doesn't worry me as my intentions were good by sharing how I personally cope and I understand some are not well...- but I am worried about @BlueBay. Whose thread this is and these attacks would of traumatised her. Not good. Are you okay @BlueBay? Your question posed was a good one and I appreciate you starting this thread.

Please everyone let's keep this thread in the true spirit of a support forum being kind, helpful, respectful, and supportive for everybody's well being. Hugs 🤗 @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member can you tag me in your thread please and ill take a look. i hope you didnt think i was pushing you away just suggested that you could start your own thread so we could help you work through all your triggers etc and it was easy for you to find.. that all.

@Former-Member@BlueBay@Zoe7@Appleblossom

 hopefully you didnt think i was tying to push anyone out either

[Former-Member]

No not at all @Former-Member It was a good call. You are a beautiful caring member. Thank you for your concern and wonderful support of us. Hugs 🤗 💕