@REDLINEZ750 So good to hear you have been encouraged hearing us discuss the love of our life. There was a time Jesus did not mean this much to me. Years ago struck in my pit having been depressed for years and been suicidal for about a year and a half, i had secretly my untimely demise fully prepared, and ready to execute.
Then one night, after 1am sometime, sitting in my chair, with my bible open on my lap but not reading it, struggling with hearing voices, hallucinations and hating myself. Living my Hell in all its gory detail real life.
When suddenly Jesus was with me. To my shame my first response was anger. i blasted Him for letting me down and not caring about me. i was truly being awful in my bitterness even thinking at the time He came to mock me down there.
However every accusation i fired His way Jesus send back with vision of myself, year in year out, doing to myself, what i charged Him doing to me. He showed through me through my own actions how years of believing the lies of my depression had gotten me where i was, and not Him. And that all the judgement i thought He had piled on me, was not ever Him doing that but me doing that to myself - time and again. And that He loved me, not hated me, like i did, and had preparing my own death, while He had Heaven laying ready for me
And even as i had raged at Him in my anger and bitterness, Jesus spoke to me in loving fellowship. Not exclusion, as the depression always made me feel, but inclusion. And so my heart melted His words and revelation of Himself within me. Then i was back on my own looking done on my bible laying open on my lap.
These words jumped out at me however, 'God cannot be mocked a man will reap what he sows.' Everything Jesus had shown me just before, about me generating my own misery heeding lies about God, myself and everything else is what was causing the depression to be so bad, no Jesus 'punishing' me for my sins, as i had erroneously been thinking for years on end on the bottom of it, but me generating ever more bad life heeding the lies of my depression.
And so i learned to heed the Spirit of Jesus, reading the word of God to my heart, ever after this meeting with Jesus down deep, and no longer the spirit depression, who had been tormenting me in my hell for so many years.
The witness of His love growing in my heart and undoing years of loveless suffering as He came along on my journey, was the very cloud of witness i have seen Him reign my life from ever since. Even as the Word of God has become God's love letter to me, instead of a religious historical document as it had so often been for me.
Hoping you find encouragement me sharing this with you. For in my books it is not us slacking off serving God that is our issue, as the accuser of the brethren so often accuses us off down deep, but the lies we believe about God, ourself as His children, and His other children around us, not loving Jesus for who He really is.
Jesus the Saviour of The World and The Goodness of God we may freely meet in our fallen human spirit, because He knows where the lies we believe have taken us. And not only does He know where the lies take us, He has overcome the bad life they brought us, and has ETERNAL life laying ready for us, ALIVE right on the bottom of our miserable life down deep.
i will love Jesus forever coming to my rescue, and showing me how to turn my depressive illness into a gold mine, instead of a black hole sucking me endlessly deep into Abyss below as been.
i wrote a poem about that time. i think i might have already shared it, but i'm not sure where on SANE i did.
See if you relate
Twice Blinded,
What destroyer, where could he be?
Yet that deadly snake bite I didn't see!
For part of myself was dragged away.
Held captive there by Wicked's sway.
All those lies sown in my mind and soul,
satan taking day by day more control.
Feeding my life his lies bringing misery.
For all my good times became history.
For lies bring thoughts and feelings around,
which are in no way true, good, or sound.
Producing inner kings cruel and strong,
sinful ways delivering ever more wrong.
Raising Babylon in all her unholy might.
Holding me captive, blinding my sight.
Denying God's grace to rule my ways,
mocking my loving Saviour in His face.
Seeing horse hooves trampling my soul!
Grass-hoppers devouring me in my all.
Massive scorpions wrongfulness stinging.
Inner famine only more famine bringing.
Sulphur and brimstone fry life in sins to ash,
massive hailstones my life in wrong to smash.
The darkness of my life ever growing close,
For those goats inside got me by the nose.
And so working for what is not true bread.
The Lord's redeeming grace I did forget.
Thinking my world would always stink,
driving all my good life to the outer brink.
Yet there at the bottom of my fleshly might.
His Word began to give me back my sight
Jesus, my Lord, whom I bring so much grief,
when I have that liar ruling as my chief!
And so The Light of Life did shine on me!
God's Spirit alive inside my heart to see!
What blinding light I saw displayed there?
God's love for me on display everywhere!
Christ's Blood washing me white as snow!
His loving truth inside my heart does flow!
Lamb of God forever i will give you praise!
For from the dead Your love did me raise.
@Moose123 Psalm 34 happens to be one of my favourite psalm, one i love to share with brothers and sisters down deep, it is so very good. From beginning to end really. For how true is it that those who call upon The Lord are blessed His Good Life?
Dine on The Word my friend, this is how you will receive The Bread that will grow you your new life. i know that when we eat down here it has cost and effort involved.
However the good thing about Heavenly Manna is that He is for free, and comes down into us while hiding in our hiding place, it is there The word of God feeds us Christ's eternal truth, love and goodness to eat. Where we are fed we never die again, that is how The Living Word overcomes our bad life, taking thus up to Him, one by one. (Isaiah 27:12-13) Until in all of our 144,000 chosen have died His love and truth, and we are raised to rule our life with Him God's Kingdom of love and peace. Just like Scripture promises.(Revelation 7)
So, as you are doing with your life stuck with that horrible spirit of demand and addiction, do lay down all life within that is wrong and hurtful to you. For i learned to understand that it are not the objects of our addiction you we need to overcome, but those crappy 'spirits' controlling those goodies through our emotions gone wrong, which are the problem.
So let God's merciful loving truth have you born Anew His Kingdom a free person. Alive in His love and truth forever, and in your whole life, every minute of your day, my friend. For such a life is truly liberating. And is what i know Jesus is aiming for, for all those who dare let Him take control over their lives so they may come and rule life in and with Him.
