Christian Chat

[heartathome]

Hi @ENKELI It's good to see you back! The support button isn't working so here's this mornings sunrise trying to break through the clouds

 

@Appleblossom @Realness @DownMoreThanUp @Shaz51 

[Realness]

Yes. @ENKELI it is great to hear from you. Hope all is going okay.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Realness , @heartathome , @ENKELI , @DownMoreThanUp , @Appleblossom 🥰😍

[DownMoreThanUp]

@ENKELI "You my dear brother are stronger in your faith than many many people I know."

Thanks sis i really appreciate the faith of Jesus in me. About 21 years ago i lost my faith crying 'heal me' to who i had crowned god inside my mind. Believing, like i had since little, that God was the judgemental accusations that always plaques me my downs. For me depression meant God was angry and was punishing me for my sins, for i was corrupt and needed to be punished hearing i evil voices in my head, which i always tried to ignore but wouldn't stop. 

@Realness @heartathome @Appleblossom @Ru-bee @tyme 

About 3 or 4 years after my first psychosis, it was end March or April if i remember rightly i realised how badly my family got hurt and how i had totally wrecked everything believing i had to become a good person, and so become worthy of Jesus, doing it completely wrong and was totally overcome.

In those days i thought of myself as the son of lawlessness incarnated. i had no faith left at all. i literally lived hellish agony tormented down in my pit.  The underlying issue of my depression? i went on psych medication soon thereafter and lost my sense of connection and tumbled, always kept tumbling, year in year out, also stopping edited by moderator] had majority destabilised me my state depressed and therefore also anxious, but at the time i did not realise this.

Until some time late 2005 or 2006. i met Jesus in Spirit down deep in my wretchedness and He showed me what i had done wrong. i was deeply depressed and psychotic at the time the bible open on my lap but i had not been able to read but had been planning my demise. i had decided not to let my wife or children's love and dedication stop me but help myself and them out of my siuffering. i had it all prepared for in my paranoid self i thought the longer i live the more i sin the more i get punished. i was very, very depressed. After that time only recently have i been back such levels again but i think i can move very much faster between states living the word now. 

So my faith has been tested by fire, just like all of us here have, and that is why we love Him. For He helped us out when we could not. Isn't that true?

For me life is about placing myself in God's truth, but i trusted my wife's and children and grand children's  love to be there for me as well. That all gone collapsed my confidence and placed an enormous emotional pressure on my wife needed to regulate but she herself was also snowed under and could not help me any more.

Yet now that we have both cut, we have both progress. i can let of the things i held onto about her, not being true her fears, and stopped raging at that, and she has now also stopped pretending and told me she had long time already lost emotional love for me and had been more like my carer. So the utter confusion her many conflicting voices in my head, i could put to rest. Her telling what was really true. (still struggling here but know now it are always lies.)

So yes a lot of faith is needed to break away from such emotional investment. i have not got such faith from myself. But i know who has this for me if i but ask God. So it is the Faith of Jesus, me giving my times of failures to Him. This is how i receive faith, trusting even when i have no faith (good feelings) at all. That has been so hard over the years depressed. 

So praise Jesus with me! For His Faith doing what my faith could never do - move mountains!  God gave it to me asking our Father for more giving Jesus my fear, doubt, unbelief or whatever in me stood in the way to receive His gift from Above - life in His Spirit in this part of my life.

That is why my most favourite Word has become.

Wait For The Lord.

My times stuck in whatever state i find myself in, yet seeking connection with Jesus, His aid surviving my moments failing to have faith myself, but trusting The Word to be more true than my feeling and thinking world.

Such grows strongest faith in God's word ever don't you all agree the same truth in your lives? Celebrating life eternal i call - His truth lived. (1 Peter 1:22-25) He never dies in us again, so i do no  longer need flesh to be - just like Him in The Spirit called The Life, or God's Kingdom Come, i love His Word about all this so much when i struggle down there my inabilities into His truth. (Revelation 14:13)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5fwhEOptBI&list=RDZ5fwhEOptBI&start_radio=1

[heartathome]

2 Corinthians 9:7 (NLT)

“You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. ‘For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.’”

Biblical summary:

Paul the Apostle was encouraging the Corinthian church to contribute generously to a collection being gathered for struggling Christians in Jerusalem. So the immediate context of the passage is practical giving of money and resources to help support fellow believers in need.

God cares not only about what we give, but the spirit in which we give it. True generosity comes from a willing and sincere heart, not from guilt, pressure, or obligation. This verse teaches that joyful giving reflects trust in God and love for others, and that God delights in a heart that gives freely and cheerfully.

@DownMoreThanUp @Shaz51 @Realness @ENKELI @Appleblossom 

[DownMoreThanUp]

@heartathome Generosity equals profit with interest will meet you, in so many different ways, but in particular spiritually. Same as being gracious, forgiving, caring or kind. Both have seen in our broken lives that these remained intact our disaster and continued to bless us on our way.

@Shaz51 @Realness @ENKELI @Appleblossom @tyme 

Sharing with the poor and understanding how the rich in us often persecute us James way was really revealing. The book of James taught me to look after myself hurting without a meaningful surname any longer. Me despised a mentally ill person sinner as well as loved the up and downs in life by myself. Yet true religion looks after the bad off inside our own heart not just outside a worker with people.

The amazing thing? Once the grace of God enters the places we are stuck with wrong freedom comes, as He degrees, not we determine religious expectations or social morals. The first shall be last and the last first is the rule here for sure!😁

Very low at times. But to wail my sorrow with Jesus Down Here is more revealing ever seen The Lamb of God before in my life. Love Him so much and He me, as if we wail our cry with all those hurting life down here. Living Isaiah 22 is no little turn around spiritually - held far to long a psychotic view on God's visions burn both us us badly. Although God's truth remained true of course not the observer overcome the moments both good and bad life.

Went to see the my GP yesterday, my old one, for the new one would not listen. This doctor had not been all that helpful in the past, but had known us both for years. This time he was great. Deeply shocked to hear our separation and listened to me telling my story and where we were up to. And that insomnia was the main problem and rather low on depression meds having been so unwell to take care of. In the past this GP had been rather anti.

So it was a major surprise when he was fully behind me and very compassionate. He told me he had no medications to help me regulate more than was happening but Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation was now on the Medicare list and an doctor in same surgery did the treatment. He was going to get the permissions needed  to get the treatment on the way. He hoped it would ease the depression and anxiety and bring med sleep. for he knew sleep was all that was still needed with me in charge of my states.

And then an amazing moment happened. This doctor is a Christian,  but we never discussed Jesus or anything. But he told me to come to his church and they did believe spirits could become voices like.

So we briefly discussed spirits and that they had gone now, but had often been their after a break down. And that so far only once help had been needed. And we had found a place to help me there.  From God's Word we hear that spirits disturb us when we pray or read the word of Truth. Easy to detect therefore. Took some time but learned to simply hand them over to Jesus - they stand no chance His Love whatsoever. And maybe spirits need to be re-understood by the Churches. He then asked me if he could pray peace over me and God's blessing. That touch me deeper than anything he could say or do. With me deeply moved he prayed with me and the Lord's hand was upon me getting peace and clarity just letting go of all the tension inside. No heard a human voice for some time fighting for my life. The relief to be heard, met with compassion love and concern almost undid me. So long overdue my wife gone.

So hopefully this new treatment can begin soon. He also thank Jesus for my meds and my up coming visit to the city would bring the right results. That was also really encouraging. First time a doctor prayed with me and also thanked Jesus for my meds. Have myself for many years already. What works works. Truth in action is pretty plain really.

Blessings from Down Here.😢

[ENKELI]

@heartathome @Realness it's good to be back. Thanks for your kind words xoxo

[ENKELI]

@DownMoreThanUp amazing that you found out your GP is a Christian. I would love to find a Christian GP in my area.

I hope the new treatment works for you, praying that it does xo

[Realness]

@DownMoreThanUp 

What an amazing doctor! I was so encouraged by your account of your doctor's appointment.

[DownMoreThanUp]

@ENKELI The reason we chose him all these years ago was because he was a Christian.

@Realness @heartathome @Shaz51 @Appleblossom 

At the time he didn't really want me as he patient. He told me a few times had little experience with mental illness. However the doctor in Town he recommended had not been helpful, and neither didn't trust whatsoever although - at first hope had risen his name. But he constantly knew better than my experience, and made my reality into something it was not. The thing remembered is how misunderstood my reality felt at the time. So went there about three maybe four times and felt far to uneasy. Remember ringing my psych to not send him my medical records he had asked for. That is how paranoid my state became him treating me so called a mental health aware doctor.

This is how he became our GP. He was good with our down syndrome daughter and my wife got on fine with him to, although mostly she saw another doctor later on. Yet when we needed anything because of me unwell he always demanded me to come in. Which at the time was far for always possible me in state, but he would not give any calming or sleeping aids, as we had been used to from our GP before he suddenly stopped practising. 

Yet i feel much safer in his hands no. He showed true concern and want to make a phone consultation to catch up with me and for me to unload a bit a human voice. And promised he see how quickly he could get through the red tape to get me treatment. ET worked well this is also proven treatment so hopefully. 

Calmed down a lot today but still also the strong sense of paranoia my insecurities facing the future on my own. Although seeing how Jesus has taught me to regulate myself my worst moments fills me with deep wonder His ways.