Hello

[Rainbow89]

Hi. I'm struggling to feel as though I'm not failing at everything. I struggle with my own anxiety and haven't got any professional help but feel as though i should. My 12 year old struggles also with anxiety and questions their gender etc. 

I feel like I fail as a housewife. I lack any get up and go. 

I lack social skills. I don't have friends as such. Just family and my hubby. I don't often see people. I just feel so stuck. 

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Rainbow89 and welcome to the forums

That's such a hard position to be in, though I'm sure it's one that many of us here can relate to. 

I do just want to acknowledge what a big step is reaching out here and I really hope that it's a step towards feeling unstuck for you.

What are you seeking most from the forums right now? Is it just needing the space to connect and vent, or perhaps are you looking to talk about getting connected with some professional support, or are you wanting to hear from the experiences of others who might have been in a similar position and have gotten themselves unstuck? 

[Rainbow89]

I'd love to hear back from others that have been in the same situation and how they moved forwards. 

[Sasa45945]

You are not alone here feeling absolutely failing at things - I just want you to feel a sense of connection here. You are not alone, a human hear you and can relate. Send a hug - let's live the life first with minumum requirement for ourselves to get by the most difficult days. 

[rav3n]

hey @Rainbow89 juggling your own mental health and while trying to your daughter's too sounds like a lot! i don't have kids myself, but i do struggle with social anxiety and depression. my parents never picked up on my anxiety/depression, and as a result i had to find supports and strategies on my own in my adulthood. if i'd had someone to talk about my mental health with, if i was taught some soothing strategies, it would've really helped my childhood/recovery journey earlier on. 

i would say, support services like headspace is really great for your kid. they offer free 1-on-1 clinician chats for 12-25 yr olds. they also have a bunch of resources and peer support chats (there's a queerspace chat on Tuesday nights if you're daughter's interested. and there's a peer chat on Wednesday nights for parents who support young people too!) - if you are interested, i can send you links to those. 

it's hard supporting others when we're struggling ourselves. when my friends needed help, i wasn't able to give them the support they needed because i was drowning too. but keeping on top of my self-care routine and practicing my grounding/self-soothing techniques really helped me cope. so please do look after yourself too, find somethings that work for you too. the fact that you're here, reaching out for yourself and your daughter, shows great strength and i can see you care about your family so much. 

i'm here if you ever wanna chat more 💙 

[Semly]

Hi @Rainbow89 

I can’t tell you necessarily how to anything, but I can tell you that I’m here because I also feel like I’m failing at life, adulting and most things (including parenting - my middle kid is 12 like yours is). 
Our brains can be very skilful at telling us one-sided stories, and seeing that the stories aren’t actually US can be a difficult shift to manage.
Things I find helpful when I can do them are: self compassion (if you look up Kristin Neff you’ll find some great stuff); 

and … also reassuring parenting places like Aha parenting, where it’s kind of nurturing of you as the parent so you can be there for both yourself and your kiddos.

Hi  @Sasa45945 - lovely answer  -  & @Ru-bee 💎)

[AuntGlow]

@Semly 100% about our brains telling us one-sided stories. And I am a big fan of Kristin Neff - great recommendation. 💕

[Someonetotalkto]

Amazing you have reached out here.

I am only new but feel so supported in this space.