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Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

@Anastasia , @Mumi , @Emelia8

 

and other visitors to this thread

{Words~1100}

 

Thanks to each of you for the sentiments offered to me with respect to the passing and funeral of my friend.

β€œ

Often, what I write is a reflection of what I am personally {tautology for emphasis} feeling, thinking, and, or experiencing. As a result, there is for me, a cathartic effect which comes from that expression or description of my self-reflections, thoughts, feelings and experiences. That effect also is apparent for me when making observations about what other people describe about their situations. In this way, I hope that the content of my correspondence is not only helpful to me, but also to others who may be interested in reading my thoughts and discussions, in the way that I offer and present them in the forum.

…....... β€œ ….......

β€œ

@Anastasia , Thank you for your sentiments extended to me re the funeral yesterday. So very much appreciated, particularly at the time that we corresponded. I did sleep well, thank you, just not for as long as might have been beneficial. Had appointment with the counsellor today. The discussion was mainly a review of where we have come from and a projection and plan for future 'work'. The counsellor tells me, and it is evident, that our discussions are mainly self-directed by me. She offers resource material and information that, she believes, fits with the direction that I am going. While I say self-directed, I have developed, through our discussions, what I believe to be a reasonable awareness of the issues that I am facing. It is a little difficult to describe, what may be a discussion that is fairly complex by nature, time and coverage, in a short synopsis. But I can say that I am pleased with progress to date.

…....... β€œ ….......

β€œ

@Mumi , The tulips are lovely. To me they seem to be a gentle reminder that our existence involves other people and circumstances, some good, some bad, some delightful and precious and some sad. But we need to support, sustain and nurture ourselves and each other through each and every experience, with shared enjoyment at times, mutual and reciprocal support and strength at other times.

β€œ

The friend and I had a very good relationship. I remember being in the kitchen/dining area, on one occasion. He and I were sharing something humorous and, for some reason, I thought about his wife, who was in an adjacent computer room. The thought that occurred to me, at that time, was that she was pleased that my friend and I were able to share and enjoy reflections about so many events either individually, one to another, and also reminiscences over experiences that we had shared. Consequently, there are enjoyable and fond memories on which I can continue to reflect and, also, share with other mutual friends.

β€œ

I can empathise with the feelings that you may have with regard to the passing of your Mum this year. My Mum passed away just over two years ago. We were fortunate in sharing her last ten years, since Mum lived with me for seven years and three more years in residential aged care. The aged care community is 750 metres from my home, and is like another room in my house. So I was able to be with Mum during most of that three year period. Those ten years were a time and experience, for which I am truly grateful.

β€œ

Like you though, despite the positive and healing experience that was afforded Mum and me, your comment applies to me also:

β€œEvery now and again I cry that mum has gone and all the regrets”.

There are significant reasons why that ten years was so special for both Mum and me, and also a time of healing. That is where the previous circumstances about which the regrets and disappointments lay. Neither of us, at that time, during my childhood, had sufficient influence or capacity to control or affect a change or improvement in those circumstances. The latter ten years, were a time of pleasure, privilege and healing for me, as I hope and believe, that it was also for Mum.

β€œ

Your Gardenia looks lovely in the photo. Gardenias are among my favourite plants because of their generally tidy and compact appearance and the beautiful aroma of the flowers. I am not sure why it would not be flowering. I shall have a look for some answers.

…....... β€œ ….......

β€œ

@Emelia8 , I share your enjoyment of the fact that @Mumi continues to be an active member of the forum.

β€œ

It seems, also, that you are among those of us, collectively, who have had the relatively recent experience of the passing of our mothers. These feelings are often very strongly felt, with respect to loved ones who have passed away, and are more poignantly felt at significant times, such as wedding anniversaries and birthdays. We also, often re-connect with the residual rawness of those associated feelings at such times.

β€œ

It is obvious that, as we get older, the loss of loved ones becomes ever more likely. Sometimes sudden, sometimes sooner than expected. All of us, but in particular, those who, for various reasons, including experience of previous abuse, trauma, and consequent or existing health and mental health issues, I believe, may be more vulnerable and sensitive to such events involving loss, the experience of which, I feel and believe, can be particularly distressing and draining.

β€œ

I know that many more long-established members are aware of the loss of loved ones, by you, me and others, and the general details that we have shared about those events and experiences. I sometimes have the feeling that;

'I should not dwell on the loss of the special people from my life, reflection on which, may as a result, cause me distress'.

However, when reflecting on the losses described by others, the idea that is brought to mind is that it is worthwhile to sometimes reflect on and share those reflections, thoughts and feelings again, with others whom we have come to know, especially in the environment and context offered by this website and forum. The feelings of distress and melancholy are felt far more widely, I believe, than is evident from the self-disclosures by you, me and others of such feelings, even on this website.

…....... β€œ ….......

β€œ

While I have been writing this note to you three in particular, I have just noticed the pleasant, engaging and reassuring conversation that you have had during the past few hours.

β€œ

With Best Wishes

to

@Anastasia , @Mumi , @Emelia8

from

@HenryX 

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Sorry that you also lost your mum. I'm glad that you were able to spend time with her beforehand. 
I too still remember things, like today, I had a cry. My daughter doesn't know what to say, but I often have thoughts about regrets and good things about her. Unfortunately I wasn't able to be with her in her last months, long story and I find it difficult to accept that. The guilt becomes overwhelming, but I can't change the past. She's at peace with my dad now and I believe they are happy and no longer suffering. 
I hope you are able to work through the grief as easily as possible @HenryX 3C702356-25C0-4EDE-9DAD-2A1E6E7038A8.jpeg

 

520B58C7-B9DB-44D8-AFCA-644E0B336816.jpeg

Above my town. 😊

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Hello @Mumi ,

 

Thank you for your note and for including me this evening, in your conversation, by the wishes that you expressed to me and by tag, with my forum address.

"

I am conscious that tellling our own stories can sometimes give rise to thinking of comparisons between one another's experiences. However, when we talk with each other, those comparisons between the similarities and differences of one person's experience and that of another tend to dissolve. It is through this 'discussion' that we get to know and understand each other on the forum.

"

Often times, I believe, that we really have to process our own feelings. I think that I understand that your "daughter doesn't know what to say". It is almost impossible, for even those closest to us, to understand our distress about events in which they may not have been actively involved. They, particularly our children, have not experienced the events that we remember and the experiences that we have had. However, despite all our attempts to protect our children and others near and dear to us, they probably have experienced feelings of sadness, concern, anxiety, even love and all the other feelings that we can talk about with them. We can connect with others through that common langauage of feelings and sensations. To a large degree that is the language by which we connect with each other on forums, such as this site. We may even connect with each other through experiences and events that we have had, that are very similar. But often our children, even as adults, have not had many of the experiences that we have had. Hence their difficulty in understanding our, often, very strong feelings and the reasons for them. We may even hope that the need for our children to experience and understand those feelings may be delayed in their lives for as long as possible.

"

A lovely example of the situation, where people grow in their knowledge of each other, is the conversation that you had this evening with @Anastasia , and @Emelia8 , and now with me. It is through those similar or common experiences, thoughts and feelings by which we connect and often understand each other in this environment, where all we have are our written words.

"

With My Very Best Wishes @Mumi ,

@HenryX

 

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

CLTS) is a light sport aircraft manufactured by Flight Design. Credit: Flight Design general aviation GmbH.Flight design ct2k.jpg

* @Former-Member Here is a little information about the plane in your photograph.

Best Wishes

@HenryX 

 

Flight Design CT

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
RoleManufacturerDesignerFirst flightIntroductionStatusProducedNumber builtVariants
  
Microlight/Ultralight
Flight Design
Matthias Betsch
March 1996
1997
In production
1997–present
900+
Flight Design MC

 

The Flight Design CT series is a family of high-wing, tricycle undercarriage, two seat, ultralight and light-sport aircraft produced by Flight Design (Flightdesign Vertrieb) of Germany. The family includes the original CT and the CT2K, CTSW, CTLS and the MC models.[1]

The maiden flight of the original CT model was performed in March 1996, quantity production of the type commenced during the following year at Flight Design's facility in Ukraine. Since its introduction, numerous variants of the CT series have been introduced, a total of 400 aircraft were reportedly in use worldwide by 2005

 

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Hello dear @HenryX 

It's good to "see" you. Thank you for your messages. 

 

Your appointment with the counsellor today sounds like it was possibly good timing with the loss of your dear friend and for you to "report" that you are pleased with your progress to date is truly wonderful Henry!

 

I am sorry for the loss of your Mum, I can imagine right now it may feel very raw having just lost your friend? I'm fortunate to have both my parents so can't personally relate bit am led to believe that you learn to live without them rather than "get over it" so to speak. It's lovely you had those ten years, I'm sorry that the years prior sound like they weren't without some trauma. Forgive me if I have misunderstood please. 

 

I hope you are able to have a sound nights sleep tonight Henry and the writing has helped remember your dear friend also by sharing some find memories. 

 

Take care friend πŸ€—

 

Hugs to you @Former-Member and @Emelia8 too πŸ’ž

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Thanks for thinking of me @Former-Member 

Hearing you about the difficulty of switching off from adult kids.

Heart

@Emelia8 Good to see you and @Anastasia chatting.

Heart

@Shaz51 

Heart

@HenryX 

Just letting you know I am still here but needing to have a low profile.

It feels a little surreal to see the pics of planes with what is going on for me at the moment, but brought a smile of distraction and better times.

I agree going to a funeral can bring up a range of more reflective feelings.  A lot depends on how close we were to the person who passed.  Going to other funerals helped me with the grief of my siblings. Mostly doing music and gardening.  I like a lot of quite music too Schubert, Bach and folk.  

 

Hope you are all doing alright.

Apple

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

@Appleblossom πŸ™πŸ‘‚

You are always in my thoughts. I understand the low profile. Just look after your precious self, the rest will follow. 

Hoping for a shift x

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Hello @HenryX 

I notice your absence. I am wondering if you're ok? I hope so, your presence is a present here. Take care dear Henry πŸ™πŸŽ

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Hello @Anastasia  and @Former-Member , @Emelia8 , @Appleblossom , @Shaz51   

and other visitors to the "Hangar"

 

@Anastasia  , You have understood my situation correctly, in what you have said, as alluded to in my recent posts as well as others. Thank you for the perception you have shown with respect to my 'story'.

 

As I imagine that it is for many others, the loss of parents is often followed by a feeling, as you have been

"...........led to believe, that you learn to live without them rather than "get over it" so to speak".

As I indicated yesterday, in my note to  @Emelia8 , @Former-Member , and you@Anastasia , rather than thinking that,

"I should not dwell on the loss of the special people from my life, reflection on which, as a result, may cause me discomfort and distress".

Rather, I believe, it is better to consider and respond in the opposite way, for the reasons expressed in my comment in an earlier post,

"However, when reflecting on the losses described by others, the idea that is brought to (my) mind is that it is worthwhile to sometimes reflect on and share those reflections, thoughts and feelings again, with others whom we have come to know, especially in the environment and context (such as is) offered by this website and forum. The feelings of distress and melancholy are felt far more widely, I believe, than is evident from the self-disclosures by you, me and others of such feelings, even on this website".

It is my understanding that @Emelia8 , seemed to take this more positive approach recently, in sharing her family experiences, anecdotes and connection to flying and aircraft, with which others and I had the opportunity to relate and enjoy. In this way, I do not believe that our better and more pleasant memories should be tucked away in the recesses of our mind, but acknowledged as real, present to us and a source of enjoyment and pleasure which we can also share, in accordance with our own wishes, with others.

 

Obviously there are some experiences and memories with which we may wish to be less in touch and emotionally connected. So we may treat them and divulge them with more discretion, possibly even in a therapeutic environment. You have correctly seen this situation in what I have written, @Anastasia . So, having understood the situation, even if it might ever have been needed, definitely no apology required.

 

Having been away from home a lot during the last few days, I have some catching up on messages and my responses.

 

With My Best Wishes to All

@HenryX 



 

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

@HenryX πŸ™

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