CROSS

[Eden1919]

I hope you are ok. 

[Former-Member]

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@Eden1919 wrote:

I hope you are ok. 

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Yes am safe thank you 

sorry did not mean to come across that way

head all over the place

wanted to start a thread where people could respond, open up about what they feel cross about 

I grew up with the idea when you feel cross,angry count to ten

therefore not express

[Eden1919]

I am glad you are ok. i was told not to express anger growing up as well. 

[Former-Member]

What do you feel angry about @Former-Member? It's good to vent 

I had a lot of baggage once, anger, coming from an abusive childhood. That just ate me up and I let it go. Some times anger can throw me into making changes. As long as I don't give in to it letting it chew me up inside or take it out on others. Best to always talk about it I find. Good thread.

When I first saw this thread I thought you were referring to the many trials of life (a heavy cross to bear). Funny how perception can differ  🤗xx 

[Sahara]

Hi @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Eden1919,

lately I have been wanting to deal with my anger issues once and for all. I get angry over such small things. I don't really express it or tell people about it. I often just hide it and let it fester! I think it exhausts me and prevents me from putting energy into other things.

Yesterday I listened to an on-line guided meditation that I think really helped.

I also thought about my tendency to absorb negative emotions from everyone around me. For example, when I go and see my Dad, I walk away feeling very low, because he is always so low himself.

So I'm guessing that the anger I have is not really mine, but something that I once absorbed from my Mum, who was the angriest person I have ever known. I don't want to be like her! But I wonder if growing up constantly around her, being exposed to all that anger, and being such a sensitive child who could tune into others' emotions, had a long-term effect on me?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Sahara

I definitely think negative emotions and personality traits can be learned in childhood. Anxiety, neurosis, worrisome thoughts, low confidence etc can definitely be passed on through parental example in childhood. As can good traits of resilience.

For me anger can be a result of constant stress - both physical and psychological. If that stress goes on for too long. And can be the result of being hurt, demeaned, treated badly, disrespected constantly or betrayed. The latter breeds an internal anger that can fester - especially when we don't express it or left feeling inadequate with low confidence to cope with life in a happy meaningful wholesome way as a result. We can sit and stew as they say. The more inactive our minds and bodies become - the worse this anger gets. Always good to express it calmly to someone before it reaches boiling point or major depression (as a result of depression turned inwards). Meditation does help free the mind...

Hope your Dad is doing well. 🤗

[Former-Member]

hello @Sahara @Former-Member @Eden1919

I always feel so alone with my anger as I do with my other emotions even love!

How ridiculous is that?

Then again if I think about it, there are so many people who do not know how to deal with anger.

It seems to be an emotion that we are least comfortable with in some ways.

We are brought up to contain anger, not display anger, not upset others, even disagreeing can be seen in the eyes of some as part of anger which is absolute codswollup

Hence I think that for me I am turning a corner. I have had so many months of rotten grief, despair, helplessness and depression, anxiety.

I am angry with myself, with the world, with my family, friends, everyone

why?

I am just angry full  stop.

So for now I am just allowing myself to feel angry without analysing it too much like I do everything.

I am angry with myself now for over analysing.

I am just plain angry with myself.

this is part 1 of my new situation

please add how you are feeling , why if you  want to or just whatever

this  thread is about releasing, regurgitating.....

[Sahara]

@Former-Member, @Former-Member,

I read an amazing book called "The Dance of Anger" years ago. It is a great book! It's by a woman named Harriet Learner. This book is specifically about women's anger and it explains a lot.

To be very brief- women tend to fall into two categories- those who deny their anger completely - the "nice women" and those who vent all the the time - people call them "b-tches".

Both ways of typically dealing with anger are ineffectual. 

Anger should lead to action- positive action. Anger is a signal which means you should change something in your life. Something has to be done. 

Either you need to let go of something or you need to address something. Addressing something may take the form of standing up for yourself, with integrity and courage. It may simply be a need to state your case, very directly and without apology. Sometimes this is enough.

Hope this helps! x

[Former-Member]

Hello @Sahara@Eden1919@Former-Member

very interesting response Sahara

yes the physical side definitely wants to release 

I am also feeling bouts of anxiety.

I am questioning this too. Drive? Adrenaline? Excitement? Fear of future is obvious one and also patterned negative thinking.

what are your ideas?