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Something’s not right

SadDad
New Contributor

Completely Lost and no idea how to improve

Not sure where to start or how to articulate the problems but I think I list the main points

 

About Me:

In my 40s, been married for 20years and father to two boys aged 2 & 11 who I love dearly.

 

I have has mental health issues for at least 10years.  Been to see many mental heatlh professionals over that time, but ultimatey nothing has really improved.

 

My eldest son has behavoural issues and its driving a wedge between all of us. His homelife is not a happy one and I feel I have failed him.

My family life is breaking down, and no matter how hard I try to maintain a positive approach, things just never seems to go right.

 

My wife finds fault in everything I do and my I feel im losing my connection with my oldest child.  

 

To top if off, Ive was hit with a cancer diagnosis 9 months ago.  Whilst treatment has been positive, I havent had the time to really reflect on the experience, to be honest, im so numb, i have almost no feelings postive or negtive about the experience .

 

Im at the point were im "broken" and alone with no idea on what to do and no one to turn to.

 

Im hoping someone can recommend something other than just appointments with counsellors as this just seems to  go nowhere.

 

 

 

 

2 REPLIES 2

Re: Completely Lost and no idea how to improve

@SadDad 

I am very sorry you are struggling with so much.  Life is definitely not a level playing field, but focussing on that often makes things worse, so looking for the positives is so important.  GLAD your treatment is working.

Re your family life.  I cant advise, beyond working out what a basic level of self care would look like for you.  Your children benefit from you being your best possible version of you.  I have felt the trickiness of relationships being manipulated and damaged. 

I had a brother with cancer who found he did better whan he was not living with his wife, who was quite snipey.  Living the best you can. Sacrifice only makes sense if it does not destroy you.  A lot of people manage some quality of life even with a mental illness.

Take Care

Apple

Re: Completely Lost and no idea how to improve

Hey @SadDad and welcome to the forums, thanks for telling us what you are going through. I'm the moderator on duty right today. With everything that's going on it makes sense you're looking for a clear way forward. Even if members can't tell you how to solve what's happening, I hope you find connection, support, and a lot of experience here. Have a look around and jump in any threads you feel comfortable, members are very welcoming!

 

Also feel free to ask the SANE forum team or the members if you need help with how to use the forum. You might like to check out the Guidelines as they can be pretty useful in understanding how it all works. Take care 🌻

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