Life

[Appleblossom]

Ok So you are going to grab the bull by the horns and go full-time ... Good Luck this week and with full-time next year ... It might put you in a better financial position. A lot depends on all the issues you need to juggle ... one step at a time ... f/t wasnt going to work for me ... but it works for my neighbour ... social supports and set ups are changing. Each family situation unique. Dont pre-judge it ... but look after yourself ... no point in burning out.

I am fine ... my meds are high ... managed ex-hub fine ... it is easier for me now (the heat of the separation reduces) than it would be for you as you are in the midst of all the nitpicking million little things that make up parenting each child each day.

Yes the undermining of the other parent can keep the conflict alive ... he seems pretty cheap that he couldnt give them a drink and blamed you for petty things ... I saw my ex go through it with his ex ... with my son if he wanted to go swimming and had not planned he just bought bathers or what he needed ... dont let your daughter guilt trip you ... air it as stuff you need to discuss each trip ... you can be sure I dont envy you these struggles ..   Dont buy into it keep it as detached as possible ... I see lots of divorced kids ... they work it out .. if you are meant to be a working mum .. go for it .. teach your kids self reliance ... but make sure YOU can last the distance.

I have never had a problem with boredom or being able to entertain myself.

[Former-Member]

Hi,
I had a pretty tough day. It was harder than I expected and I'm frustrated with myself and just feeling flat, anxious and blah. Why does everything have to be so difficult for me?!? Supposedly bright and capable lol but totally useless! Gah!

[Appleblossom]

Hi Bella

I had the bright and capable and try no matter what ... totally internalised. You still are bright and capable ... but your hands are full and you need to be careful about extra commitments.

Dont come down hard on yourself ... do you want to talk about it?

[Former-Member]

Sorry, i'm not sure what im doing anymore, or who i am exactly, just hiding away for a while i think

LJ

[NikNik]

Hi @Former-Member

Are you okay? Has something happened?

No need to respond if you don't wish to. I respect your wish to 'hide away' but know we are with you.

I'll set up a camp fire and sit with you.

Thinking of you.

[Former-Member]

had first day back at work on wednesday and it didnt go well, and i was a wreck, im not sure i can go back to it. and really not sure i can get anyting right

[PeppiPatty]

Dearest @Former-Member

Cant believe I havent seen this post...one of our sisterhood girls. 

Thankfully you have been getting wonderful messages.

Is it ok if I join in?

Are you alright on writing about yesterday?

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Former-Member

Im back, just waiting to see if you will write.

We are here for you sweetheart. I read @Former-Member messages, they are kind,hey. Her and her pet....

She writes

" felt guilt and shame and confusion. Worried I wasn't good enough, capable enough, whole enough, that I was just faking that as best I could for them."

then talks about asking for help. @suess writes that sometimes you just really need a diagram...I felt like she was talking for me.

Ive been so overwhelmed Today...I went into the sewing shop and said...I just can't choose the right material...can you choose some with greeen and blue....

What are those three things that @Mazarita writes? Ille go back and look at them.

then @Appleblossom is ....calm.  

Oh what about she writes...'Yes the undermining of the other parent can keep the conflict alive ."

 She gets it so right.

..I was thinking that your partner feels like he can't even....'feed,' your children properly.

We are here for you sweetheart. Thinking about you and you are always in everyones heart.......

Im trying to think what to do about those silly nurses who .......ask and state all the wrong questions.

[Former-Member]

Hi @PeppiPatty
Thanks for writing, im just feeling a bit low, school holidays coming up which is great but it means no more psychologist apps b cause of childcare and I'm stressed just thinking about my two being home - even though I'm glad too. There's court stuff tomorrow and next week. I think my ex is just trying to hurt me through the kids - he is constantly trying to find ways of controlling things through court, lawyers, access visits, assets etc. it doesn't matter but I've never said anything bad about him to the kids, I talk about him when they bring him up, tell them the good stories from when we were first together and always help the kids buy or make things for his bday/Xmas/Father's Day etc. I just hope my lil girl will be able to see one day that I tried to always put her and her brother first.

[Mazarita]

Hi @Former-Member Here listening, thinking of you. Hugs. You had a scary first day and are still going through court and other difficulties but it's still somehow sounding like you are in a better place overall than some months ago when we first met on the forum. I'll bet there will be quite a few of us around the forum as usual over this end of year time so you can at least have us here as your sounding board while you are without psychologist. Do you feel you got some good help from seeing the psychologist that might help in an ongoing way now? I worked temporarily for the family court and saw this issue of one or both partners saying bad things about each other to children come up many times. I admire that you don't say bad things about your ex to your children.