Riding a wave

[Phoenix_Rising]

Big hurting @Former-Member @Former-Member!!!!!!!!!!!!

In her handover report, therapist-take-one wrote that the muddle of my aspieness leads not to perceived rejection, but actual ongoing rejection. She also says that due to her trauma history, rejection (or the feel of it or possibility of it) is the single most triggering thing for Phoenix_Rising's distress). I don't know how to keep living. How does anybody live with the objective reality that no one can stand being around them. How does ANYBODY LIVE WITH THAT?????????????

[Phoenix_Rising]

Big waves. Big big big waves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My aspieness isn't an illness. It isn't ever going to "get better." It is who I essentially, fundamentally AM...and who I am is not ok. The objective reality is that it is NOT ok to be me, is it. No one can stand being around ME. It isn't an illness, it's ME. This is ME...and the reality is that no one can stand being around ME! 

[Former-Member]

Love the pic, thanks @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

Yes that is right we do care about you 🙂

Giraffe's Can't Dance

[Former-Member]

I'm sitting here with you @Phoenix_Rising and @Catcakes 🙂

Have you watched Giraffe's Can't Dance? Shall we watch some others? 

[Catcakes]

Why @Former-Member?

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Catcakes do you know why people can't stand having you around? I don't know what it is about me that people can't stand...and thus I have no idea how to change it. It seems to be my aspieness more than my BPD-ness, and my aspieness isn't an illness that is ever going to "get better." 

@Former-Member I will watch Giraffes can't dance now. Do you want to choose another story for next?

[Former-Member]

@Catcakes just a suggestion as I know @Phoenix_Rising has found them comforting before 🙂

@Phoenix_Rising sure thing I'll get on to it! 🙂

[Catcakes]

I can’t say for sure @Phoenix_Rising but a mismatch of communication styles, a push/pull of attachment , anger/despair/neediness/overstepping boundaries...... something in there😞

[Catcakes]

But how do I get to read it @Former-Member?😣

[Former-Member]

Sorry @Catcakes, if you click on the title Giraffe's Can't Dance it will take you to a youtube link where you can watch it. I'm about to post some more too. Maybe you can let me know your favourites 🙂