Stuff going wrong

[Zoe7]

That makes it harder then @TheVorticon but I understand the not being able to verbalise stuff - I have that problem a lot too. There are just some things that I can't talk about - and probably never will be able to - but I have begun to learn from my pdoc that that is okay - I can move forward without having to delve too much in the past - it is not easy because so much of who I am is dictated by my negative experiences but being able to turn the positives into something that I can move forward with is something we are working on.

[TheVorticon]

Glad to hear that you're making some headway with it with your pdoc @Zoe7 🙂

[Zoe7]

It has taken a long time @TheVorticon to get to a point that I can say I am making progress but it does feel good to say that. I hope you can get to that point eventually as well. It does take a lot of work and I know doing DBT has certainly helped also.

[TheVorticon]

Thanks Zoe7.

Today I am sad about a few things. I am sad about how things ended with my old psych, I am sad that I couldn't really talk to them, I am sad that I still have some of the same problems as before, I am sad that I feel like no one cares about me (or those that do have too many strings attached to their caring which makes me not want it or distrust it).

[Zoe7]

I understand that distrust in people @TheVorticon - all you want in life is to have one or more people that you feel you can fully trust but being let down so many times that makes it difficult (or impossible) to find that. It is so hard to be sitting in that place with no-one you can reach out to when you are feeling sad or that no-one cares. We do care here but it is not the same as having someone in real life that you can turn to. All of us deserve to have that support but it is hard to find. 

I know there is a lot of history with your psych and the relationship you had was not ideal - do you still want to see them again or are you still tossing up that idea?

[TheVorticon]

I do want to see them again @Zoe7. But I can't for at least a couple of months (or undetermined length of time) depending on how other stuff in my life plays out.

[Zoe7]

Oh that sucks @TheVorticon I do hope it all falls your way and you can see then again then.

[TheVorticon]

Thanks @Zoe7

[Zoe7]

You are more than welcome @TheVorticon Tag me anytime you need and ear or just need to unload - happy to be here for you buddy 

[TheVorticon]

NYE thoughts always make me feel like such a pathetic loser. Wish I could just sleep through the next few days entirely.