Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[jayskette]

me, I reckon

1) father in law died

2) ran out of savings organising funeral etc

3) work is the worst ever - people leaving in droves, extremely busy period even busier, just me that know how to do stuff, and with 1 + 2 happening, my work performance is slipping

4) then, husband lost his job

5) husband went back to being a alcoholic, being aggressive, mood swings etc

6) my dog has a terminal diagnosis, and I have no money to pay for vet fees

7) mum asked me at the last minute to help out with sister's moving out, 4 hours drive away

😎 The day with extreme lack of sleep - went to help out with moving, sister then decide to go missing and messaged me saying she is committing suicide, called police, spent the most of moving day helping police with tracking her down

9) mum being extremely superstitious is now aggregating her depression, anxiety etc, and is distraught. Grandma is also bawling, anxious...

10) and now my own anxiety of my family's health conditions is exacerbating my sleeplessness and I am glad I am feeling numb and "getting on with it" because nobody else can 

[tyme]

I'm so very sorry to hear @jayskette . As much as it sounds like you've won the prize for having the worst September, I can certainly hear how difficult it has been.

It's as though when it rains, it pours and everything happens all at once. You must feel so drained from this. 

As much as we want to magically take all this unfortunate events away, we can't. 

But I want you to know you are not alone. Please know we are here for you.

I'd love for you to tag me into your posts so I don't miss any. You can do this by typing '@' in front of my name e.g. @tyme .

Please take care and look after yourself at this time.

[tyme]

How are you today @jayskette ?

[Blackbird11]

Hi @jayskette 

That's a big lot of things to be dealing with. We are here for you. You can contact us by any means here...Contact us (sane.org) 

Be kind to yourself, you are important too.

[SmilingGecko]

Hello @jayskette sorry to hear things are very difficult for you. I can't imagine how hard it is for you right now. Wanted to say the charity Pet Medical Crisis will pay up to $1000 if you can't meet your bills. 

Its a shame your father in law did not have funeral insurance as funerals can be costly. I signed up with BARE funerals they have a low pricing structure as there is no funeral house or unnecessary expenses. It keeps outlays to a minimum. Its the way dealing with death should be - affordable.  You may wish to discuss it at a later date with your family as it seems you've allready paid for your father in laws funeral. Its the cheapest most ethical option I know of.

As for your husband, when men are out of work it can really affect them as its their identity. AA is a good start. He just sounds like he's not coping having lost his job. Maybe get him into healthful routines so he is in greater control of himself in the day to day. Routine can go a long way to stabilising the emotions, even ayurveda states this. Heard a vedic astrologer say by taking care of proper immediate essentials gradually opens you up to your spiritual concept which is a way better option than drinking.

With your sister shes obviously in crisis and needs some kind of care plan that takes into account both your family's needs and hers. It just sounds as if you are so stretched. You are doing well under the circumstances.

We've had the lead up to a full supermoon this week which officially is today (Friday) and I noticed lots of people getting triggered with traumas from the past, wishing their lives had of been different, "why has this happened to me?" kind of stuff and righteous indignation.

ER usually puts on more staff during full moons as there are typically more accidents, casualties and emergency. My ex used to be a hospital orderly and told me this. So my guessing is after today things might settle a bit. I follow the science of heliobiology a lot and it can account for all kinds of shifts in temperament, mental health and physical symptoms. Its a new science but the evidence has always been there.

Just take care of YOU and prioritise your needs if you can. You can't deny your own needs and be there for everyone even if family patterns in the past have dictated that your needs are subservient to those of others. Assert your needs even if family have made you feel acclimatised to not having them properly regarded.

[jayskette]

Hi, thanks for asking. sister was discharged at 11:30am (admitted around 2am), so whilst that was extremely disappointing (was expecting a 2 week stay at least!) it certainly lifted the mood of the rest of the family. Her moods and behaviours are still suspicious. Unfortunately the best I can do is to notify her doctors. 

[tyme]

Hey @SmilingGecko , I believe the post from @jayskette  if for you 🙂