i found myself broken

[Shaz51]

Hello @ohanais, I am here with you my friend

[Zoe7]

@ohanais I suspected that you were in hospital - I hoped I was wrong about why I hear how hard this past month or so has been for you - I get it - I am 'circling' the same thoughts and feelings atm and just trying to survive each day!

As hard as it is @ohanais - there is no shame or disgrace in where you have been and why - it is the hardest place ever to be wanting out  - when there seems like there is nothing left to fight for and nothing left to live for - when the pain is so great it clouds all judgement and destroys what little light you may have in your life. I feel similar feelings - but not because of what I 'may' have done - more because I failed. Most days I wish I hadn't but there is always just a small piece of light that unexpectedly enters my day - I can't usually see it coming (or even believe that it is possible) but I also need to believe in something atm - because the alternative is destroying me a little bit more each day - and soon there will be nothing left!

My life is minute by minute for now - and that is all I can do! If that is what you need also @ohanais then that is what you need to do. Thre is no shame in asking for help or support and simply reaching out here takes coursge and strength WTG @ohanais 

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am so glad to see you back @ohanais ..... we have missed you ❣️

Sounds like it was really rough going, and you're still struggling, but you're back here now, with our community arms around you, and I hope that helps you to feel a little bit safer .....

Hugs n hugs Hon .... looking forward to your posts.

💜

[ohanais]

@CheerBear

I have missed just seeing your name. Thank you so much for being here, I really need it and hope you are well.

[ohanais]

@Former-Member

Thank you so much for your words. It's all a bit tough and tricky over here at the moment. Nobody really understands. I often find therapy to also be quite hopeless and medication seems a bit hopeless also.

Thank you. thank you. thank you

[ohanais]

@Shaz51

I love to see you around 💜💕

[ohanais]

@Zoe7

Sorry to hear you are still struggling also, but I know how strong you are. A trait I sadly do not possess. It has been crazy this past month or so.. crazy.

I am shamed and disgraced at my actions in the past month. I was so awful to people who were trying to help me.. and just wasn't a nice person to be around. I was hallucinating and so delusional. I know what it feels like to fail. I was so frustrated by it.. and sadened.

I am glad you have that small glimmer of light that seeps through and I only wish that for you. Mine is simply talking with you all on here.

Minute by minute 💜💜

[soul]

@ohanais - I was puzzled how you had reinvented yourself and then seemingly went off the radar. It's always a worry when that happens. Sounds like you were in such a dark place and are still looking for some light. I'm sorry that you felt that ending your life was the only way out. 

It's good that you recognise that the aggression was something that doesn't typify you. I really hope that you find some purpose in life, some joy and peace. Please know that you have friends here that care about you. We will do our best to reach out but as we are not with you, it may be hard to know when you are especially vulnerable. If you could tell us, we will be grateful and can then assist you in any way we can. 

Sending you positive thoughts and a whole heap of love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Maggie]

@ohanais I have been to the places you speak of, still do at times. There is no shame. There's so much I wish I could say but it's just too difficult atm. I am sorry you have gone through/are going through so much. We are all here with/ for you.

[ohanais]

@Faith-and-Hope

Hugs back to you, too 💜💕

so glad to see you. 'see you'

I have missed you all so very much