why can't I cope longer?

[Former-Member]

@Appleblossom, how do we "look after self" ? Hey, you're musical aren't you, a friend gave me a p copy of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' movie, watching it atm. Have you seen it? How about you @Zoe7 ? I'm not one for Rock&Roll but 'Queen',.. true stories interest me.
EOR

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member ,

It sounds like you've had a pretty rough day, sorry to hear you had a tough time with appointments. It's great you're thinking of really practical ways to care for yourself today. I've just sent you an email to check in. 

Take care,
Tortoiseshell 

[Appleblossom]

Yup I am into music and played a few Queen pieces when I first noticed movie. Its on my list to see ... one day.

@Former-Member 

Self care can be as variable and unique as each individual.  I am not good at it, as I was very sucked into the self denial ... endure pain stuff ... which lead to self harm ... which I am slowly getting out of ... sigh ...

 even reading posts and including what others do helps.  Taking time out when you need it.  Jumping in when that is needed.

[Zoe7]

You have a lot to offer @Former-Member It just is that you are feeling so left behind in the world at the moment with all that you have to deal with. Sometimes there are no external things that can lift us up when internally we are feeling defeated - it is a horrible place to be in Hon  ...but you are looking forward in thinking about buying the RV and maybe that little bit of freedom will be just what you need - being able to travel where you want and do things that you enjoy. It might just be the turning point for you in finding things tat help you feel better about yourself. 

We all lose track of time or miss appointments - can you reshedule to get your paperwork signed and your scripts filled? I hope they realise that you didn't do it on purpose and that you really need to have an appointment to do all those things. Goodluck with it all @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

thanks Appleblossom, Zoe7 & Tortiseshell, i went out today, a church thing & lunch with friend where i got talking, cried a bit, and teary since & headache. All just under the surface. Antidepressants not working.
@Tortoseshell, sorry but cant access my emails atm, its flipping / frozen,:( Need to go to the Telstra shop, maybe upgrade my phone. . . .
Tomorrow i look at a bigger van to do up like a tinyhome, hope to get a fair trade in. So tired today. Found a tiny travel iron at the op shop today $5 🙂
Anyway, didn't mean to worry yas, it was a morbid tx cause I'm just so fatigued and lost. Hoping the Van will give me a 'me project' to focus on, that's the plan anyway, if I can just get out of my head.
Hope your week is s a bit better @Zoe7, and @Appleblossom, that you keep up & going.

xox

[Zoe7]

A good cry is sometimes what we need @Former-Member but it sucks that you have the headache - hope that eases for you soon. 

I like the idea of getting a van to do up then you can have it how you like and it will be a real home for you - sounds like a great project to get stuck into.

It is just great that you have checked in @Former-Member even though you are still struggling - it is so hard to get out of our own heads at times so make sure you do some nice things for yourself over the next couple of days 

[Former-Member]

dream about doing out my campervan

[Appleblossom]

Oooh dear re doc @Former-Member 

I missed an appointment yesterday.  It never used to happen until last few years ago, getting older and tireder I guess.  My medical team say I am not too bad in missed appointments as I mostly show up and I showed up early for my gp cos forgot her changes.  Medical appointments have become my way of life in last few years.  I hope you are forgiven. Mostly they can fill the time with work that needs to be done or see a person for longer.

Its great you are looking outside the square for housing options.  Nesting is important.

[Zoe7]

Love the image @Former-Member I can see you laying there dreaming of your van revonation 

Hi @Appleblossom 

[Former-Member]

@Appleblossom 

@Zoe7 

You both empathise well - thanks. I do need to 'nest' (find a space of my own), where I am my room is half full of other people's stuff. 

Should i post my van progress here (if not too boring :))

My mechanic advised me to go for a DIESEL Toyota hiace campervan.. with mileage <150km... but do you think I can find one? 😕  So, I've sourced an empty van to have done myself. A professional conversion costs $40k 😞  so, i plan to slowly do it out myself, somehow, with what I have. Don't need all those pipes and power plugs really, not yet, just somewhere safe to sleep & stretch out my back when in spasm. This is what I already have:

- flat pine couch / bed (but thinking of building big boxes with storage underneath).
- portable gas stove & pressure cans, pans & kettle 🙂 
- portaloo (yep little toot)
- ensuite tent for toot & shower
- folding aluminium kitchen table & collapsable sink, collapsible bucket

- privacy screen

con't...