Motion - new pathways - air -sea -land -us

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Former-Member @StanD @tonys @chibam 

Sounds beautiful the conversations about community and people who are safe, who are safe for us.

In terms of moving around it is a big issue for me....to find a place that is safe....I think for a lot of single women this is a tricky factor..commubitiey is ideal, living with people who get us...but for how many of us is this true?

I lived at 19 year old in a big sharehouse with over ten other young women mostly in their twenties. There were some beautiful moments and some hard. They were all strangers before we moved in together. That was good and rare because we were all equal and no one csme with pre existing relationships.

But as someone in my thirties I don't know what community looks like for me. Some groups are so family oriented, and some people I've met from different countries say Australia itself can be very family oriented. But for those of us without stable families it can feel a bit like being left out. 

[StanD]

Pleasure to read your warm words @Former-Member Yes, I see motion in you. Gentle motion. Transitions almost undetectable. You are efficient & move effortlessly. 

Gold. Another member has found us here. We do not seek. Words are feelings. The places we see are kingdoms. Flowers grow. We cross bridges. In this world our names are known. The lady who fell. She gave me her name. How could she know.

Bubbles rise, simmering. Raindrops. Flesh of mine yearns to feel. Inside lakes 

Little fish 

There are mountains and streams. Time forgets me here. Another day.

Awake. Asleep. Joy in peace. My heart could explode...I forget... I'm alone. I sense another. They have been here for some time now. I sense the closeness so much stronger now. Pulsating. Higher.

Dangerously high now. Dizzying. I crave another step. Not yet. This is good here. I am impatient. A sonic boom. I'm breaking through. I will sunbake here. I must go now.

[chibam]

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@Former-Member wrote:

Does it matter that we find support here, in this community if we cannot find it in real life?

A community formed by each of us taking a new pathway regardless of why or how we arrived.

We can be ourselves here.

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Maybe it's just me, but I ache for something that is real. Not just interaction divvied out by a computer. I think the modern generation has gotten used to that just being everyday life; but in my youth, real-life companionship seemed much more feasible.

I always loathed it, but the people around me pretty much decided early on that I would be condemned to spend my life stuck behind a keyboard. Some even had the gall to go spreading roumors that that was what I wanted. Virtually killed any hope I might've had at getting friends or work that wasn't computer-centric. Even my goddamned therapist seemed to have a thing about railroading me towards a computer-based career, before she developed a bizarre fixation with steering me in to the food industry.

The people here on the forums are a nice bunch. But I just hate computers. I hate being stuck behind them. This is not life. At best, it is palliative care.

I want to live - in real life - in the company of good people who I really click with.

[chibam]

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@EternalFlower wrote:

I lived at 19 year old in a big sharehouse with over ten other young women mostly in their twenties. There were some beautiful moments and some hard. They were all strangers before we moved in together. That was good and rare because we were all equal and no one csme with pre existing relationships.

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How badly I wish I'd had this. I always just assumed it would happen automatically. I'm still at a loss for why it didn't. Especially after I'd "reached out for help" to make it happen.

This is the sort of thing therapists need to start doing for their patients, if we're sincere about curing depression and suicidalness. We need to start sending the lonely and inappropriately-housed to real homes where they'll get a real family.

[StanD]

Hello @chibam @Former-Member @EternalFlower @tonys @tyme 

Sorry I have not had the chance to reply to all of your posts properly. I'm finding gems in each one. Yes, motion - you have created a lovely space to explore dreams...& this supposed idea we call reality.

My previous post, it was fun. Reality & dream intertwined. What couldn't I do? Oh I really this question.

@chibam I had to respond because I yelled this exact sentiment to my psych & social worker this week. I told them they were basically frauds & to quit their meaningless jobs. If one does not have access to safe suitable, comfortable, nurturing home - a lifetime worth of counselling is irrelevant. I have had an emotional, disturbing week. The cold, hard facts of a world that doesn't work, doesn't care. 

I refuse to give up. I won't let another person suffer in the way I,  And you, chibam ..& everyone, at least on this forum, has.

Computer interaction. It's like looking at photo of an apple when I'm starving. I don't have any apples, so all I can do is peek at the photo, knowing that apples do exist. It's a kind of dark comfort.

I am home by myself tonight. Needing comfort. I don't have any. I am here.

It's not a replacement. Not close.

Comments I have read here. Changed my life.

@Former-Member helped me yesterday - I found motion that I didn't know I had. I astounded myself.

@EternalFlower reflections on feeling left out by not being family orientated. As if being rejected by our own families is not embarrassing & painful enough.

@tyme claims to have learnt trust. I am skeptikal. I liked to read their story of growth & recovery. I will file it too.

@tonys I'm actually not sure what they were saying. I found their comment about towns to be very deep. Welcome tonys.

In person is where it is. I like to see the person. I fixate in moments. It is real. I can touch. I can hug. I can't feel yet. It will come. I like looking at what people don't say. 

It can be a 15 min chat with a mysterious stranger. Or an hour.

The best is people who feel familiar. I will see again. I will make plans. It is real. Not a fantasy. We all need this. 

[Former-Member]

Hello @LeChuck 

I am so sorry I am just about to go to bed and I suddenly had to check if I had tagged you.

My mind is in overload at moment and I am forgetting so much at the moment.

please feel welcome to join a lovely group of people here; each with our own styles 

.

We are all looking for company.

Read back if you can. Might help

Just be yourself and write your own thoughts.

Be you

[tonys]

@Former-Member    Yes. . . . .  motion.  let me think.  .  .     Never getting stranded in a place,  time  or thought.  Collisions are then inevitable.    With each,  comes new wisdom.   My weathered skin and mind bare the treasured scares of each encounter.   I  reside in a scenic valley.  Forests, nature,   and  bounty of the earth I till.      

But my true home is,  .  .  . my mind.   

I never had family,   friends were few,   living rough on the streets and my disabilities a grotesque reminder to the   'selfie image'    world  that a fly may just spoil the cream in their cocktails.

But my mind.  Its an endless child's play ground.  Imagination envelopes adversity,  Severely tested  but its sanctuary  holds fast.    The cells and institutions could never scale my walls and lay siege.

I never had anything,  so I find great joy,  even in the adversity  and  the discarded  scraps of charity  smiles and words.     And absolute exhilaration in a real smile and hug.  

You have intelligent minds which gives you a head start on me.  Your questioning and searching and the strength in you will,  and your words. Mean    You will triumph,   and I would hate to be the person that gets in the way of your inertia.  .  @Former-Member  @StanD  @chibam  @EternalFlower @tyme   Bless the lot of you.

Its good knowing folk like you live on the other side of these mountains and are in constant  motion for a    'changing'.   .         tonys   moon base one

[EternalFlower]

Hi @chibam 

Ur right and thank you...I think what you're referencing may be a corrective family experience, a community where people are accepted.

I don't know if I was completely accepted there but I was mostly safe. When I left I moved back home and then my depression came again...being with my family I got abused. And I kept going back. My dad was psychologically abusive and would bully, mock and threaten me frequently.

I agree secure and supportive housing has always been my biggest problem and one that services do not care about..how can we get well when we are emotionally homeless ...it's like a constant two steps forward one steps back. A safe place to sleep...a home...

I like the writing here related to what inner safety people found.

My grandmother used to always tell me no one can take education from you...I guess no one can take dreams either. But the basic necessities of life still need to be catered for in order to allow dreams to fully bloom.

[tonys]

@StanD    @Former-Member   @chibam    have been scrounging around the old posts on this sea air land   hideaway.   Coordinates are of the edge of my charts so was very lucky to find these islands  and set foot on some of your beaches.   I just had to say before the next wave snatches my footprints,  that I do admire the way your posts make the mirror you stand in front of speak so honestly.   I hope you are ok with me sailing and fishing these waters again.   I feel the alure of the ecosystems  sheltered under your swaying palms.  .   .  Perhaps  a treasure chest full of dreams,   . .  . and  I'm an old sailor besides.               tonys         moon base    1 

[StanD]

Thankyou for contributing @tonys You offer your own wisdoms. I could not grasp the entirety of your message. It helped me learn & laugh at myself for trying to understand. I think your message carries a sadness. I see you giving & wanting to give more, from a place full of emptiness. Are we all this sad? What is this mountain..

@EternalFlower your message is beautiful.