Trying makes it worse

[Appleblossom]

I saw my aunt's linked in profile a couple weeks ago. @EternalFlower 

i have recovered but it really hit me at the time, impacted me for a few days. 

This week I am dealing with other stuff. It has been very difficult, but I feel alot better today for doing music for 5 hours.

A crisis has many aspects. It is important to establish basic safety.  

I hope you do not leave food in the tin cans.   If you dont want to use jars even put leftovers in a bowl and put a plate or lid over it.  The tin can transfer into the food.

Just do your best. What I keep coming back to ... doing one's due diligence.  There is so much to know understand.

[tonys]

Hi @Appleblossom   Its contagious..   when you say you feel a bit better.  well ,   its just good to know.

@EternalFlower ..   Its hard to avoid a dangled bait,  but if you can, .  .  . they often just give up fishing

Its Ok..  I still get sucked into other peoples games too.      I do hope you are managing the odd smile.

Apple uses music.  I wonder if your escape hatch might be cookery.  Hope you have a "nice"  visitor

tomorrow .    G nite and sleep sound..  will look in tomorrow.          thinking of you..            t  moonbase 1

[ArraDreaming]

What

[EternalFlower]

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[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower 

Stuff does happen on the forum. Its hard. Hope you are alright.

I  went to a doco by train. It was good and social we were a group of 4.

I had very hard week but seem to be coming through it.

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Appleblossom 

It feels very stressful here and triggering. I soemtimes feel like people could hurt me here.

I am trying! As @tonys said trying can make it better.

So sorry to hear u have had a hard week...are u ok...

Did the foursome group all enjoy the doco? Nice by train...fun and adventurous! Did u guys socialise on the train...or sleep?

I have been going to a cafe every day and writing. I am really struggling with winter. It is very cold. I bought a big hoodie.

Some drama with the hospital where I am case managed. Very hard to get through to a support person therr and very inconsistent staff and bad communication. I see a peer worker from time to time but she also complains to me how she isnt supported in her role and i take it on and feel worse. Dysfunctional system.

I watched a youtube video about someone sleeping in a sleep tank in Japan and what it is like. I am not sleeping well. I think a sleep tank would be scary.

I am thinking of going to aldi tomorrow as they have towels and duvets for special buys. I am new to aldi. Big into kmart tho !

Have u got support as u recover from the painful week? Here for u.

[Appleblossom]

A big hoodie and bedding sound like the go for this weather @EternalFlower 

It is a good idea to get out and writing in a cafe sounds kinda cool.  Maybe you will even meet someone decent.

Thanks for offering support. You are caring.  Yes I have had support this week.  Almost 2 hours of formal support. but also spme good things happening socially which balanced out the bad thing that happened socially.  It also might influence that relationship with the person whose interaction brought up a lot of agitation in me. I had to talk to her assertively which I did. 

Tonight was very social.  2 of us went in and met the couple who organised it and we all returned in same train.  A lot of chatting.  The lady I travelled down with is a possible new friend.  We hit it off really well.  Time will tell.

All the people know each other and I am beginning to tell people when to back off, which is not something I have ever really done before. New Learning and very scary for me.

[EternalFlower]

Thanks @Appleblossom ...

I really feel u re having to tell people to back off. Are the people veing nosey? It is a delicate thing but good hopefully when u see how people can recover and adapt to a boundary.

When i went to my ndis planning meeting i was asked if i had a preference for gender or age of my workers. I said no anyone, then changed it and said i prefer people in a certain age group. It felt so weird.

I am sorry about the person that rattled u, u dont deserve that. U dont need it...i hope ur ok. The social stuff sounds really good. Glad u also had formal support and 2 hours of it.

I didnt have good support last week but picking up now.

My gp is good and gave me some good advice. I was going to discharge from the hospital system bexause i had had it and he calmed me down and talked me off the ledge.

I thought afterwards that its ok i did start discharging and made a mistake but i can redeem it and get back on track. I missed my appointment with them deliberately because fed up. But i can get back on track and attend the next one.

[Appleblossom]

One of the big things of NDIS is CHOICE and CONTROL.  @EternalFlower It seems natural to me to want to try different things if the support is not a good fit, seems you are experimenting, and that is probably a good thing, as you find what does work for you.

The lady was trying to be bossy and nosey.  She kept saying she had standards and that there was a right time and place for everything.  In the end I said to her in a social gathering, "There is no right time or place for you to tell me what to feed my son or who to have sex with."  I was quite intense and it was sudden impulse.  She kept telling me to give him beans and legumes, which was really insulting reduction of what I had shared with her, and pretty stupid, cos I am pretty health conscious and my son has had plenty of beans.  Maybe too many... lol...  I bought him some carrot cake today, thats our idea of splurging on junk.   lol ... really some people have no idea.  She also told me off about not having a relationship with someone she had a crush, ... I thought she was a friend and maybe if she can cope with my boundaries, we will see what happens. I do not want to withdraw from the groups we are in, but getting too old to compromise on that kind of thing.

[Oaktree]

Hi @EternalFlower 

It’s been a minute! I was thinking of you. I hope you are doing ok.

Meggle