Thankyou @EternalFlower 💜 it really wasn't my intention to lay all these problems on the lovely people in this thread. I deliberately didn't tag anyone besides from PSW because I think the problems are too big & I would never expect members to support me in these issues.
I think I wrote it all more as a vent /attack against the system.
It's not as easy as walking away from it all. I get that, if people are not exposed to complex mental health everyday, then it is very difficult to understand the complexities. From the outside it is easy to say - 'oh you just need to find somewhere else to live.' (& yeh professionals share this mindset too Undoubtedly, if my life were different - I would share the same ignorance.)
Many carers & loved ones of people with complex MH end up doing that.(walking away)
It doesn't change anything really though. Maybe I would get more peaceful days & that would be lovely. My friend would still have schizophrenia.
No, it's not my job to support him. I do it because I can. I'm really good at it. It makes me proud of him & myself to see that we are living proof that a solution to mental health exists.
Of course I have my boundaries. Drug use being a big deal breaker for me.
My victim mentality falls mainly on gaps in the medical system. There are huge ones, like we are currently experiencing (delays in surgery is another one - that is completely unacceptable).
Then there are smaller gaps that are pernicious. Maybe attitudes, small words said - that have no right to be said. And that is from trained professionals. I don't mean general public.
It's all a silly game & dance we have to play. Be polite, kind, know your place. Most of the time I'm an expert at the first two!
Every now& then I need a really big vent.
I am ultimately really happy in my life.
I can get so disillusioned by the lack of support, or 'innapropiate ' support - from time to time & eventually the steam blows the lid off the pot!!
I suspect that there are many carers, family members that want to be part of loved ones life who is suffering - they just don't know how. Much mental health is resolved by connection. If professionals could see their role from the perspective of the important part they play in facilitating already existing connections within a person's life, I believe much could change. There does not need to be a 'power differential.'
For example - triage coming for home visits. This is small solution that can make big difference in helping patient feel safe. Often (always) I am excluded in these visits.
So many unnecessary punches - I feel like I have to roll with.
The same with the phone calls when you get released from hospital. It's like the tiniest thing. Why is it too much to ask that the voice on the other end is genuinely involved?
Mental health is not the patients, or carers problem - we are only symptoms - & / or trying to overcome impossible symptoms.
It really hurts - when treatment does not involve care.
xx
Thankyou for checking in on me💜💚
