Thank u so much @Eve7 @tyme
It is not healthy for me I agree.
I asked for 7 months of records to keep on some dodgy, dehumanising, and legally inappropriate stuff my previous CM did.
The hospital said the notes aren't chronological, but in all diff places, like according to type not date. Eg all phone calls together, all cm sessions together, all admissions together.
So they gave me it all for 3 years.
It's very addictive reading it and very upsetting.
I think I want to stop and not look at it.
I have seen what I need, which was that the CM did in fact not take notes and wrote some not true stuff, which I may formally complain about. I wanted to know tomprotect myself.
I find the notes obsessive about my weight and clothes and use not respectful language. It is all about my own deficits.
I respect Ur decisions not to read urs. I don't know why I kept reading.
@Eve7 I totally understand znd it must have been so traumatic what u went through and so wrong. It is brave u are still working with a new pdoc, I'm sure they accept u and see beyond the stuff that others have written.
@tyme thank u so much. I did not know if I would read it. I didn't have a plan. In a way we shouldn't really but on the other hand I feel like I wish I'd known to be careful what I say to mh professionals.
one thing I felt quite happy about, when I asked to change cm, their head psychiatrist wrote my request was reasonable and the cm behaved inappropriately. All that horrible stuff written it stood out that one professional officially supported me.
