Topic Tuesday // Forming Habits // 17 Jan. 7pm AEDT

[Kurra]

Hi @Former-Member @Former-Member

I know the main discussion is over but I thought I'd still have my say anyway!

I don't do NYE resolutions as I dislike the concept that you can only make resolutions once a year.

I prefer to work with continuous improvement. I make only one change at a time. Any more than one and I increase my risk of failure exponentially. When I have truly mastered that one change is when I make another resolution - just one.

Following my recent hospital scare I've been working on slowly re-establishing my fitness level. I'm mostly just walking - it doesn't matter whether I walk for 10 mins, 30 mins or 50 mins - as long as I do it twice a day, every day.

What started out as something I really didn't have the energy to be bothered doing has now become something that I look forward to doing and something that I truly enjoy.

For me it's - Just one thing at a time.
Wishing you all every success with your goal / goals. Hugzzz 💕 🎶

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member and all

So sorry I missed the discussion, I fell asleep on the floor 😞

I used to be over organised with a jam packed calendar and plenty of goals. And I was a high achiever, a perfectionist, after a late party I would still be running at 6am.

None of my old ways work anymore. I can now happily lie on the floor and look at the ceiling for hours - at least I'm looking up. I can do jigsaw puzzles for ever or art (on a children's level - I am no artist, but I enjoy colours).

Every time I go to my GP or psychiatrist they point out that I need to exercise again, for the dopamine, for the energy I get, to fight the side effects I am having of the meds. For me exercise is a 90min session in the gym or outside cardio. Is walking exercise? I always forget to ask.

And I need to lose weight, but I can clear serving platters of cakes now. Never used to. I am an emotional eater and I use it also as a reward, yay I'm going to work, oh look there's food... I joined WW and put on weight...

Thinking about goals makes me very very sad and demotivated.

So i started looking at my week ahead and think what would be most important this week. Like starting back at work was a big thing. Starting therapy again was a big thing. So I try to focus on what I need in that week and if I ever have a week coming up where WW is the main focus I might get my mojo back, but I cannot do more than what I do now.

I don't feel in charge of my life. My therapist is teaching me slowly how to get out of flashbacks "quicker", and is very happy with my mindful activities, I don't have enough mojo to do more than that.

I live from week to week, sometimes day to day or hour to hour. How can I get back to looking at a big picture and setting SMART goals when I don't know if I will have enough energy to even get to work? I don't like looking further ahead than a week as I keep on cancelling whatever I plan and I feel like such a failure when I do that I stopped. The last thing I need right now is another failure to give my SH and SI food for thought.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, glad you joined the discussion.  My first thought in reading your post is 'there's a time and a place for everything'.  Right now it seems like your energy and efforts are best placed in working towards recovery/stability rather than setting more aspirational goals.  I'm sure you'll get back there but there's no need to pile that on right now.

IMHO walking is the best exercise.  I follow the work of Katy Bowman, a biomechanist, who is a huge proponent of natural movements like walking and stretching to return us to health.  No need to torture yourself in a gym.  And the best thing about walking for me is that you can use that time to listen to audiobooks and podcasts.  That makes it a real pleasure.

Something else that might help is checking out the book Slow by Carl Honore or his Ted talk. It'll help give you a perspective shift on the value of taking your time.  I doubt that all that rushing around pushing yourself to your limits was good for you even if it felt right at the time.  There is real value in slowing down and choosing your goals wisely.  Depth over speed.

One last thing to think about sometime is whether you can draw on your mindfulness practices to help with your relationship with food.  There are some great books and audio tapes to help you with that process.

But as @Kurra has wisely recommended, one thing at a time will maximise your chances of success and keep the pressure off. 

Take care @Former-Member,