Skip to main content

Forums

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,255,612Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Member ...feeling for you

With major MI there are always a few ups and downs but things are relatively steady here.

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Thank you @Former-Member - I do feel I can breathe abit more for now. I am going okay - but am exhausted as I could imagine you would be. It's pushing through each day hoping for the best and a smile and laugh somewhere along the way. 

Not good to be walking on eggshells - I did that a lot with my daughter. I am still living on the edge as she is in another dangerous relationship. It's hard, damn hard. And I hear you Sherry. And I feel with you and for you.

Not much more we can do my friend but our best and hoping for better days ahead. To feel the warmth of the sun in our hearts (and my aching bones would be lovely right now 😌). 

Its inspiring how you can see the good (improvements), no matter how small, in this round of immunotherapy. It's looking for that good that keeps me going; and hanging onto my dreams regardless how against the odds they seem right now (I dream of getting my daughter back whole and happy...and my husband having quality of life....).  

I so hope this treatment improves yours and husband's hopes for his longevity and offer some pain relief. I hope that you can get away somewhere peaceful and uplifting for a bit for your own self care and wellbeing - and get some much needed rest of body and mind. I live in hope. Can you talk to your sister about how you are feeling and what you are going through? 

The construction of our home has started - we should be moved there sometime this spring but can't say for sure. We may sell in May and rent somewhere for awhile until construction is complete. It's all abit up in the air but am sure it will work out somehow.

Hope this post finds you having moments of relaxation. Thinking of you ❤️xx

(Below is a post (saying) that a friend who is struggling shared on Facebook. I found it inspiring and thought I would share it below) 

 

 

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Member@Former-Member@Determined@outlander and anyone popping by - below is the post I mentioned above.

 

THE TRAIN: At birth we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believe they will always travel by our side. As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant i.e. our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of your life. However, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone. Others will step down over time and leave a permanent vacuum. Some, however, will go so unnoticed that we don't realize they vacated their seats. This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells. Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers requiring that we give the best of ourselves.

The mystery to everyone is: We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down. So, we must live in the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are. It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

I wish you all a joyful journey.
Anon

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Member, thinking of you...

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Member

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Memberthinking of you Heart

 

@Former-Memberthank you for sharing Heart

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Now the test is really upon me - trying to support others in my life when depression and ill health has hit me. Hopefully with a new day it will lift and I will see my way clearer. What a waste of life this is - I loathe days like this as my zest is zero. I tire of mental scars. I feel like screaming

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Oh @Former-Member, I'm so sorry to hear that.  You've had to deal with so much lately, its little wonder your own health has taken a hit as a result.  Not sure if you've given more detail about whats happening elsewhere, but I've not been reading much lately.  So I'm sorry if I'm out of touch with whats happening.

Have you got somewhere you can go to have a really good scream?  If not, how about a punching bag?  Anything to release a bit of that tension and frustration could be beneficial.

Feel for you.

Sherry Heart

 

  • Image result for scream

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Thank you @Former-Member. I don't think I have the energy to physically scream - just feel so depleted and down today 😥. It just hit unexpectedly - probably from a build up of all the stress. Not sure but more than likely. I have been pushing so hard....now I feel like I have failed. It's horrible, I can't stitch or do anything. Just lying here looking up at the ceiling. Not good. Hopefully things will look better tomorrow. My health is dragging me down....I need my health back to cope better....and then those feelings of self doubt....a really bad day.

I feel guilty as I know you are under a lot too which makes your response even more special to me. Thank you for being there Sherry, it means a lot xxxx

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Yeah thanks @Former-Member, I know what you mean actually.

Today has been a very difficult day for me too.  Firstly I got a call from my brother to say that my nephew had checked himself out of rehab.  He only went in on Wednesday after finally being accepted and a place available for him.  One day later and he's out.  They'd assessed him and had him going cold turkey for his drug addiction, and it all got too hard and he wanted out.  They couldnt keep him because he was in there voluntarily.  So he is home again and talking about suicide and not being around come court hearing day next month.  What a mess!  So sad for my brother.  And my nephew, well he's just not who he once was.  Drugs do that I guess.  He'll do whatever he can to support his habit.  His centrelink benefit does not cover it.  I can only see one way this will go, and its bad.

Then this afternoon my husband had a fall.  Not great, done damage to his knee, knocked the skin off the bridge of his nose, skinned his forehead and eyebrow.  So he looks a frightful mess now.  Mainly superficial I think after having cleaned him up and disinfected him.  But still sore and sorry. Lots of bruising still to come out, although it has started.  I just heard this almighty bang and went running, and there he was knocked out on the floor.  Poor man.  Really shaky for a while and I couldnt stand him up as he's more than twice my weight.  But as he recovered a bit, between us, I got him up and sitting more comfortably so I could clean him up and assess the damage.

Gee I'm sorry Enigma, its awful feeling as you do.  Oh and, please do not feel guilty about posting here.  I like having someone to talk to.  Hope my sob story hasnt added to your pain though.  xx

Sherry x

My favourites

Members feature!Log in to add spaces, events and discussions to your favourites.

Resources
Guidelines and technical support

All guidelines and technical support

Crisis support

SANE services are not designed for crisis support. If you require immediate support, please contact one of the service providers below.

Members online

No one is online right now. Hold tight and someone will be along soon.