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Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hi @Shaz51

You are doing well with so many lunches and dinners and so many people. Trust it does not tire you and mr Shaz too much and you can really enjoy the time with family. 

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hey @Shaz51

Hope reunion exceeded expectations and that you are not too exhausted.

I am hoping my questions will not sound like a grumpfest, but these are things I have noticed as Mr Darcy deteriorated.

Next question: Often Mr Darcy doesn't do a job very well and it is one I cannot ignore. I have come across drinking glasses that have not been washed properly (or not at all) that he has put away. I always check before use but it is not always possible to politely intervene if unexpected guests pop in.

Is there a good way to tackle these problems as Mr Darcy can be hypersensitive? Sadly there are quite a few similar problems and I don't want him to think I criticise everything he does.
Darcy

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Thanks @Determined, @Former-Member

Came home at 1pm, very tired

Hubby is now asleep

Got a BBQ tonight with some of the family but NOT  going as it will be toooo much for hubby

Sometimes we need to be able to say No when we need too

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hello @Former-Member

Often Mr Shaz  doesn't do a job very well tooo

You wrote > Is there a good way to tackle these problems as Mr Darcy can be hypersensitive?

It is tricky , I do a lot of checking without him noticing and fixing it up , sometimes he sees me and says -- " I have Done it again" , or " I am brain dead"

and then I say it is ok , we all do it from time to time and I say what silly things I have done to try him not being  soo hard on himself

and It is a bit hard when it happens when you are working

How is Mr @Former-Membergoing today xx

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hi mohill 

Only thing that has changed is that I am in a better place. I found out the reasons for all this drama in the end and im not reallyt happy about it, but there seems to be nothing I can do. I am now the enemy in her eyes after doing nothing wrong what so ever. 

 

To cut a long story short, several years ago, she witnessed an assault perpertrated on one of her friends. A few years later she was called to court as a witness to the case and her and others basically were key to getting this guy locked up.

Cut to a few years later and he gets out. Unbeknownst to me, he ads her and the others to Facebook. For a few months they were talking and in that time I guess hes found out how well we are doing these days and decided to get a piece of the action. So from what ive been told (by her cousin) he has been playing on her mental issues (paranoid schitzophrenia and PTSD) making out that some how I (the person whos looked after her for almost 10 years and got us where we were at the time) was out to get her. Im a liar, a thief, a cheat ect 

In the end she cheated on me with this dude and most of her behaviour was a result of guilt. She wouldnt face me, wouldnt tell me and still cant admit it. Now the bastard lives in my house, parks in my car spot and has even taken over managing some of the family affairs... Hes there for 1 reason and 1 reson only. Get revenge for her being a witness against him. 

Shes now drinking a lot. She actually rang me one morning and was all nice apologising for her behaviour ect. I was on my way to work so I couldnt talk long. She said shed ring back later that night and when she did she was drunk and feral. I had to end up blocking her number and getting my mother to finish up our affairs. Shes now giving my mum the run around. 

Pretty sure this is not going to end well for her. Ive tried to warn her, ive even warned her family who are also concerned but seem to be able to do nothing. Ive given up. I spent way too long trying and it was cauing me too loose the plot myself. I cant think about it anymore. Writing this has upset me and this is the first time ive cried about it in a while, but I guess I needed to finalise the situation here and get the last bit off my chest.

 

It still hurts, and I still think about her every day and hope she is ok, but its no longer my main focus, im trying to get my life back together and theres a lot of other crap happening now because of how she handeled the situation. Im financially screwed now due to her taking our savings and one of my tenants (who was her best friend) just split owing 2.5k in backrent and leaving about 4k wort of damage.

Ok well this was longer than I expected, sorry guys.

 

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hi @Shaz51

It has been a busy weekend for you, I would imagine you would be needing rest almost as much as Mr Shaz.

Things here steady, Mr Darcy is a bit anxious



Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hey @Faith-and-Hope @Determined
Hope you are both OK.
Darcy

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hiya @Former-Member .... 😊

I'm just heading out for a while, but I have seen @Determined over on the Hot Chocolate thread .... couple of others there too, and a favourite hangout for our @Shaz52 .... ❣

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Oops .... @Shaz51

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hey @Shaz51
Hope you have recovered from the weekend.
How did you get on today?
Darcy

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