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Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hi @Shaz51

How are you and Mr Shaz this morning?  Thinking of you both and trust you have a good day.

Hello @Anony18, @Maryjune, @Appleblossom, @Dec, @PeppiPatty, @Faith-and-Hope, @Mazarita, @Carer101, @Sherry, @Sane74, @rose96

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Came across something similar to this recently thought of it this morning, kind of relevant to last nights post. Something for me to aspire to 🙂

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Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

That is great to hear @Determined! I know how difficult it is to moan about the past as it is the past. But as you said it is a bit of a relief to talk to someone or shall i say a bunch of someones about it to get it off your chest and mind. You have the right attitude on accepting, learning and moving on. Even if it is hard to move on, at the least the thought of trying or the wanting to try. 

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hey @Determined

Facing our losses, regrets and hurts takes a lot of heart.  There can be discomfort in this as we confront our own humanity and weaknesses. 

I know I feel that I am always wingeing about Mr Darcy too (next question pending @Shaz51) too but this is the spot for us to do so.  The reality is that we do tend to lose ourselves in our partners mental illness, people are interconnected, our health is too and when one of us is hurting is does affect the one we love. That is why this forum is great because it gives us a spot to vent so that we can deal with our hurts and frustrations without placing that burden on our loved one, We can get advice from those who have gone before us and know how to handle these situations. I think we all want to feel valued and appreciated for what we do, even creatures with the thickest of skin have vulnerable spots. 

I have found that most of my flaws are best handled with humour (especially old flaws, but current ones are included), none of us are perfect.  To my mind, as long as I am doing what I can to make myself a better person that is all that matters.

Darcy

 

 

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

(next question pending @Shaz51) -- go ahead my awesome friend @Former-MemberSmiley LOLHeart

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hey @Shaz51
Hope things steady st your place.

Next issue:
Our weatherboard home is in need of maintenance and repair. Mr Darcy is upset the place is not as nice as our previous one. If anything is going to be done I am going to have to do it, we have never had to even replace carpet before.

Question: does Mr Shaz take an interest in your home maintenance? If not will he at least participate in choosing of things needed? Do you have a program to keep the place in good condition?

Darcy

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hello @Former-Member Smiley LOL

Question: does Mr Shaz take an interest in your home maintenance? If not will he at least participate in choosing of things needed? Do you have a program to keep the place in good condition?

No , Mr Shaz has lost his get up and go

I have worked out the finance and done everyting to get new awnings --( the old awnings were about 100 years old )

I am getting the painters in to paint the house -- has not been done in a long time

I put money away in our fix up account , so I can do the maintenance , but there is still alot to be done , what makes it worse is that i own half of my mum`s house as well , and being on a very very low income -- no pension or centrelink , I find it very hard to do both

But with a lot of saving and determination I am getting there very slowly

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Ohh @Former-Member

the house we are in -- I inherited from my dad , who was broke , but he died 10 years ago

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

I am so grateful that you have been happy to answer these questions @Shaz51. It helps to know how others deal with similar situations and I have appreciated you telling it as it is and not glossing over the difficulties. I have covered off all I need to, managed to work out the other questions on my own.

Hope things are going steady for you, have been thinking of you and Mr Shaz.

Darcy

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hi @Former-Member

Re. 'PS - BTW a few really good positives came through in your story, gave me hope'

I am happy that you were able to gain somthing from my story...
I would be interested to know, if it is not too personal, what the poaitives are that you see as all I can see is negativity and resentment (on my behalf)
I ask this as your positive insight may give me a diffrent perspective and a base for some positive healing and growth.
Thanks heaps
D


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