14th year house bound

[hiddenite]

I'm just a no body the way they speak down to you.

I'm just feeling really sorry for myself.

Tell me Jacques what did you do today.

Did you cook something nice for dinner?

[Appleblossom]

Dear @Alicia did you intend to post something ... it has happened on another thread where nothing showed on your post ... hope all is ok ... your story re caring for sons is important for us to read ... I thought about your boy's eating ... mine is a little similar but also opposite ...we are mums of vulnerable young men

[Jacques]

I know how tough things can be epsecially with doctors, they do speak down to you, but it is only because they are busy and over stretched wit htheir services.

I know the feeling Karen, when i feel sorry for myself i try to treat myself to something, make myself feel better.

Today, well i went through the bedding stuff and towels and threw out a lot of old towels, blankets and pillows that where all falling apart, most of them where over 30 years old, so i cad a clean out in the cupboards, and fixed a draw in my desk then i spent a few hours tonight cleaning up the shed, their was sponge and cotton everywhere, lol

Oooh dinner, well it was a lamb chop with 3 veg, it was very nice, i am about to go and make myself some pecan pie, with cream, yum. (and a coffee )

Right now i am talking to you while listening to enya, so peaceful.

[hiddenite]

Sounds like you had a really productive day Jacques.

Have a piece of pie for me.

Enya have such haunting sound.

I like them

[Jacques]

yes it is so nice ot be getting everything replaced and fixed up, it is nice to not have second hand blankets and towels, wel have replaced all the linnen.

the pie was good, yes enya is so beautiful, so calming.

we have just had rain in the past hour, so the new little pants will be happy, not a lot, but good soaking rain, i should not have to water too muc hthis weekend.

[Alicia]

Hi @ Jacques,
Thanks for your comments about my sons. I think if I could get a home visit that would be good - he still needs to agree cos he couldn't handle it otherwise. It's good you can share on this forum and there seems to be lovely, supportive people here. I've never seen anything rude or offensive written by you. You are trying to honestly share your thoughts and so, us readers need to accept what you say. It does distress me to hear you say there is nothing
more for you, but i don't want to discount what you are saying. We don't know what's going to happen in the next 5 minutes, let alone next year. I know it feels like Sisyphus - the Greek legend about rolling a big rock up a hill only to have it roll back and you gave to do it again!! I hope things can improve for you and that you could have one supportive friend. Take care
Yes, I know I/he/we have to act now because mental illness only gets worse when untreated for years.
My elder son was increasingly unwell from age 14 to 30 years old. I could NEVER get him to see a doctor. He went once cos the police ordered him to, but he only had to attend one session - he walked out half way. I consoled myself in those years simply in knowing he survived! I watched him decline and managed the crises. His father (a GP!) washed his hands of the situation and made comments like. "He's just lazy" or He's an adult now" ex husband doesn't help out with finances either because my son is an adult! He has 2 other children now. At first I tried to understand him but now I just have the darkest of thoughts about him ( the totally absent father! - he's sees our middle son who us doing well.
My youngest - didn't really know his dad b4 the divorce, and also was a witness to his eldest brothers behaviour which was often angry and sometimes aggressive.
Anyway, I went off on a tangent again. My approach after 30 years is paso un paso (step by step) Anyone speak spanish?

[hiddenite]

Sorry Jacques I'm not up to talking think I'm still in shock.Enjoy your music.

Karen

[Jacques]

Thats ok my angel, i understand, maybe you should just sit with me a while tonight, here is a sleeping bag and hot water bottle.

Rest up my angel, be safe, my thoughts are with you always

Jacques

[Appleblossom]

Dear @Alicia

That is sad that your boys' father is a doctor, and couldnt get properly involved and perpetrated the worst of the stigma we are trying to eradicate.

He is not the first problematic Dr/father on this site.  We do have to stop putting docs on pedestals.  You have certainly been through a difficult time and have a lot of courage ... glad you are here.

[hiddenite]

Thanks Jacques that just what I need, I feel so cold, empty and alone.

Hope you've made room for me.