A long rave

[Mazarita]

@eth, the mum role can be thankless at times. I have treated my own mum badly at times over the years. I hope you and your child come back into the friendship space again soon.

I think I'm going to need to get offline now. The light from the screen is hurting my head. Thanks for the chat this morning. Always so great to catch up with you real time here. Best for your day ahead. 

[eth]

Hope you feel better soon @Mazarita.  I was about to say I was going too!  Thanks to you too for the chat.  Yesterday's tag game was funny and it was good to catch up.  Take care x

[CheerBear]

Good morning @Mazarita and all here 😊

Really happy to hear that yesterday seemed to be a positive experience for you Mazarita, and that you got off to what sounds like a great start!

I was walking home this morning and noticed another little cherry blossom tree has just woken up from winter and it reminded me of you so I wanted to share.

So pretty 💗 Hope you have a good day 😊

[Mazarita]

Good morning, @CheerBear. Thank you so much for sharing the gorgeous image! Hope you have a good day too.  

[Former-Member]

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita🙂

Love waking up to receive a post from you 🙂

Sorry about my confussion with your anxiety and I'm proud of you for working so hard for so long to overcome it the way you have :)

I can understand you enjoying the night time, it is quieter and often less busy, often the best time for 'me time'. I have nothing but 'me time' these days and in a way I'm glad, many ways really, I certainly think it's helped me with the sleep battle 🙂

Your right about the showers, it's not an issue for me, though I do make an effort to appear more socially acceptable when I go out in public - like you I would feel even more vunerable if I didn't. But the house tidying does bother me personally, I know no-one else is going to see it - but I do. There's also the practical things, I can't find anything - what's the use of having something if you can't find it - may as well 'put it away' in the rubbish! A little toot on my own horn here, I am still washing the dishes and making the bed (and the young fellas) everyday 😄 My washing machine is full of dirty stuff, so I'm due to wash, I've finally caught up with mowing the yard and I've even tickled the floors a couple of times - and it makes me feel so much better about me and my place 🙂

So, you had a shower yesterday YAY! Is it alright if I give you a little nudge on Friday? {though my memory is nothing to rely on! :D}

Hey @eth, I've made quiet a few dream-catchers. I make them out of beads and wire. I made one from all silver (actual silver) beads and turquoise (real) and it withstands being outside and above a front door;  and another for my child, it might sound a little icky, but there was a dead bat on the curb side every time I went to visit, one day I decided to take it's skull (my child {an adult} is fascinated by Vampires, and I am fascinated by skulls!); I take the skulls and place them on a meat-ants nest, they clean it up, I then sit them in bleached water to clean and disinfect, and this one I painted silver - the rest of the catcher was mainly black (wooden and onyx beads) - my child loved it and it's still above their bed 🙂 I'm no authority on dream catchers 🙂 But I've always thought it wasn't really to filter dreams, it was to protect the sleeper from 'evil spirits', the negitave influences that cause the bad dreams.

So glad you like your new psychologist Mazy 🙂 to instantly 'click' like you have, has got to be a good sign 🙂 Looking forward to your rave about it, thinking it's going to be a positive one 🙂

Adding a touch of excitement to that constant live streaming of love

Niqua

[Mazarita]

Good morning, Niqua  

No need to apologise for not knowing I struggle with anxiety. We are always learning stuff about each other here. I like the mystery of humans, how no matter how well we get to know someone, we never really know them entirely. 

I have a lot of me time too, Niqua, and seem to need it. But, during the day, I've often got this harsh angry voice in my head trying to bully me into doing this that and the other thing that I supposedly 'should' be doing. It is tiring having that part of me so often giving me a hard time. At night though, that voice seems to go to sleep (maybe cos there's nothing anyone should really be doing in the middle of the night aside from sleeping). When I say 'voice', I don't mean I 'hear voices'. More just that there's a part of me that is never satisfied with anything I do. I can never be good enough for that part of me.

I love hearing your horn tooting about success in the domestic realm. Awesome work on the dishes and beds every day, mowing the floor and tickling the floors (love that phrase)! 

Yes, please do give me a nudge on Friday re showering. Can't guarantee it will get me in there, but all encouragement helps. 

Wow, an actual silver dreamcatcher with real turquoise. Sounds amazing. The vampire one would probably give me nightmares (vampires were a theme of my nightmares for a long time in my life, from childhood), but I get how it was a good gift for your child. 

Not sure exactly when I'll get to the rave about the psychologist. It might even be after a later session with her now. But I did talk with eth early this morning about it in earlier posts on this thread. 

Love down the line to you too, Niqua. 

@Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Good Morning @Appleblossom

Oh yes! My puppies are my saviours in so many ways :D

I'm glad to hear you have a new friend 🙂 What speed do you walk and talk? {you don't have to answer, I'm just curious - I'm thinking fast}

The hygiene thing is something I regularly think about - I get that we need some for health - here's a theory . . . the need for obsessive cleanliness wasn't as great in past years because there wasn't as many of us. But as our numbers have grown, so has the risk of contamination. It kind of goes along with my thoughts that plagues are the perfect feeding grounds for germs.

When it comes to the food we eat, I have my doubts whether any of it is really that healthy. Even organic non-processed foods. Even if you manage to find or grow something that has not been treated with pesticides, grown in soil that's not been pumped full of anything that will improve quality and quantity, not washed in bleaches or acids, or polished to look it's best - the air, the atmospere the surrounds our planet is not healty - we keep pumping all kinds of pollutant toxins into it, we keep creating atomic-decaying radiation.

I don't have a very positive outlook for our Planet, but I don't think we will end when it does . . . we'll simply find another one to destroy. I have a little day-dream, that one day the Human Race won't be restricted to one planet . . . . the 'greenies' will have a entire globe to themselves and it will last longer than any other Human occupied space 🙂

Love right back at ya!

Niqua

[Appleblossom]

Yep @Former-Member

You said it.

I did not have strong views about hygeine ... was a bit wishy washy.

My husband and his siblings blamed their mother's excessive cleanliness for causing his mh problems, I kinda agreed, but also knew she did the best she knew how.

He also trailed a lot of muck around and then I started to feel like her .. and I am NO cleen freek.

[Mazarita]

Awake at 1.30am after a few hours sleep. Still unwell from the lurgy that came on nine days ago. Yesterday saw a bit of a rise again in chest symptoms. So much deep wheezing and coughing! Managed to get through an appointment with the optometrist with only a couple of coughs. But then when I came out on the street, I was coughing explosively all the way to the bus stop. That was even after taking a medication that suppresses cough. Bad headache bothering me all day too (second day of it). Took some more cough suppressant last night in order to be able to sleep. It's a pain reliever too so headache is treating me okay at the moment.

Had to miss art group yesterday because of the sick feelings. Today I will be giving laughter yoga a miss. I may even cancel my GP appointment today. I don't think I'm still contagious but not really well enough to be doing much either. It's very boring as I am too unwell to engage with video making and find myself just falling asleep from disinterest watching TV (rarely watch it when well for the same reason).

Meanwhile it's like summer in winter here, glorious days out there, the warmest winter in 15 years of being in these parts.

A bit more about the psychologist appointment a couple of days ago. She told me I could think of that space as my 'safe place'. We also talked about thoughts versus feelings, especially how good I am at analysing things, and even being upbeat about things in my mind. But how this may not address the deeper, heavier issues I live with, something that can only come about through letting myself feel. I like that I now have a place to go to hopefully open myself more in that way, and find some release from the darknesses I live with in a quieter way.

Well, that was half an hour of raving. I wonder if @eth happens to be around this night for one of our chats...

[eth]

Here now @Mazarita Your new psychologist sounds like one of the good ones.  I'm happy for you.

Hope the coughing has settled down by now.