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25 Jan 2018 11:12 AM
25 Jan 2018 11:12 AM
@eth my day is going great thanks eth. The buzzyness of yesterday seems to have calmed down which is good (thank god for medication yes?). I was writing up a storm yesterday and for the first time in ages I had a compulsion to do a night time walk or drive which would not be good as said thank god for meds.
Hoping you have a calming day after yesterday. Lots of self care for eth 🙂 xx
25 Jan 2018 11:14 AM
25 Jan 2018 11:14 AM
@eth, I got the orange flavoured psillium, it's that is giving me the grief. I don't want to see that specialist again (he showed no sign of being interested in follow up with me anyway!), but will talk to my GP about options next time I see her. I've put up with this problem for that long anyway, might as well wait until my next visit there. I kind of wanted to see her this week to talk about it all. But I don't like seeing her too often so will probably wait a couple of weeks to coincide with blood test results and B12 injection. The other med (suppositories) are easing the pain now, which is good enough for me at this stage.
With the friend at poetry, we have already met a few times now, including a visit here to our place. He is a new collaborator and I recorded his voice last time he was here. Will be giving him the edited files of that when I see him tonight. C is coming too. They seem to get on well too.
25 Jan 2018 11:16 AM
25 Jan 2018 11:16 AM
Thankyou @Bunniekins Glad to hear you did not go wandering in the night - and that your medication is helpful. Mine is too and I am totally commited to being 'compliant' with what's prescribed. With bipolar I simply can't risk going without it.
Hope your day is peaceful too x
25 Jan 2018 11:20 AM
25 Jan 2018 11:20 AM
Hello @Bunniekins and Everyone 🙂
You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and...
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?
You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
Well you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and...
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and...
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?
Well I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and...
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You? Don't You?
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?
I remember the vain song! What young girl didn't make that
the theme song to thier latest heart-break?!?
I also remember this one below -
talk about weird lyrics?!?
I've got your picture of me and you
You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"
I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do
Oh it's in color
Your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel and soft as clouds
I often kiss you when there's no one else around
I've got your picture
I've got your picture
I'd like a million of you all round my cell
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
And turning in and turning 'round
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I've got your picture
I've got your picture
I'd like a million of them all round my cell
I want the doctor to take a picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up
And turning down and turning in and turning 'round
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger
That's why I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
(think so think so think so)
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Well for those of you that lived the era
Now that I've got you vainly turning Japanese
I really am going to get off and get ready this time 😄
Niqua 😄
25 Jan 2018 11:20 AM
25 Jan 2018 11:20 AM
Snap! @Mazarita I agree about not taking it if it's causing you problems. Totally different situation to what I said above about being compliant - that was meant to mean about psych meds. Maybe talk to your chemist about it in the meanwhile until you see your GP. I go to the same chemist all the time and they now know a fair bit about me - I value what I call the 'therapeutic relationship' with them as well as my doctors.
25 Jan 2018 11:25 AM
25 Jan 2018 11:25 AM
Haha, Niqua, good to see you here this morning. Enjoy your day! @Former-Member
25 Jan 2018 11:29 AM
25 Jan 2018 11:29 AM
Oh yes, @eth, me too. Compliant with bipolar medications here too. They are my sanity savers. My only deviation from the straight and narrow is that I don't take them at exactly the same time each day, though I know that's how it's best done. Always a little bit of rebellion in me, hehe. Good to hear you have that relationship with your pharmacist. I will think a bit more about whether it might be possible to develop that relationship with one here. I'd probably have to change pharmacies as the one I go to is always flat out busy.
25 Jan 2018 11:29 AM
25 Jan 2018 11:29 AM
25 Jan 2018 11:37 AM
25 Jan 2018 11:37 AM
Hi @Former-Member,
I will send you an email shortly to action this for you.
All the best,
Lauz
25 Jan 2018 11:46 PM
25 Jan 2018 11:46 PM
Went to the poetry event tonight and met with my new friend and collaborator. Gave him the edited sound files we recorded a while back, had a beer, a smoke and a chat.
All good on the surface. But inside I was so extremely anxious. Why this terrible anxiety inside when meeting with someone friendly, with whom I've already made two videos and who clearly, in all rational lights, has good intentions towards me? I have a friend in Melbourne I've known for 30 years. With him too, I never feel relaxed, though we've collaborated, hung out, travelled interstate together and generally watched each other grow from young adults to now.
I get so frustrated with my fears. They even poison my friendships.
Couldn't wait to get home tonight. Left the poetry event early, partly because I was sick in the guts all day, and partly just because I couldn't stand the strain of trying to socialise. So good to be back in my comfort zone now but I am having trouble winding down.
I've been afraid of other people since I was a small child. It makes me so angry with myself really that I still can't be free of it, despite all my efforts over decades, therapy, medications, the lot. I guess I'm destined to be socially anxious until the day I die.
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