Am Not Coping

[Zoe7]

No @Faith-and-Hope no more listing! Harder to feel less anxious on here if there are too many people around!!!! Also harder to not feel overwhelmed and even more lost atm. I hate the nights, I hate this feeling, I hate that I have these thoughts, I hate that I feel defeated, I hate being me!

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Zoe7 .... didn't mean to distress you by mentioning a list .... I had no intention to tag anyone else .....you will notice it was only the few people who have been visiting you here this last 24 hours .....

My meaning is that you already mean a lot to so many others on the forums, and they will be keeping back to give you the space you need, not because they don't care about you .... they do .... and pop in her infrequently looking for you to see that you are around and okay.

Hugs n hugs Hon ..... here with you .....

Did you see the dolphin pics on F&A ?

[Eden1919]

@Zoe7 sorry you are feeling bad you are not alone

[Zoe7]

That's ok @Faith-and-Hope - certainly didn't mean to put any pressure on you either Hon. My head is so messed up tonight. I do know there are so many people here that care and I know they are in the background 'listening' and supporting. 

I did see the photos - they were so close - must have been amazing to be there and witness that F&H. No wonder you love walking in that area when there is so much natural beauty that surrounds you 

I have measured up the space for my sister's painting - now I just need to find a way to purchase the canvas and start - her birthday is in 2 weeks - I really don't see it getting done by then - I really can't see past today atm.

@Former-Member @Eden1919 I am not great and feel so low tonight.

[Eden1919]

@Zoe7 i am here if you need me for a little while longer i am not doing so well myself. what is your dog up to?

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Zoe7 I am sure your sister will be so delighted at having one of your original paintings fpgifted to her, I am sure she won't mind if it's ready for the day or not ..... it's really sweet of you ..... 💚💕

[Zoe7]

I know she would like it in oils and seeing the spot she wants to put it oils would be better - so guess what - oils it is. It has been so long since I painted in oils - but the worst that could happen is it could be a complete disaster and I'd have to do another one in acrylics - just need to find some energy to start it @Faith-and-Hope - and the 'headspace' to adapt the original to something that she would like. 

@Eden1919 Toby is right next to me....

[Eden1919]

give Toby lots of cuddles hopefully that may help a little

[utopia]

@Zoe7. Thank you so much for your beautiful heartfelt words. You certainly know how to make a Cocky cry.
I'm packed - except for my tracky dacks that are drying in front of the heater. Yes I've packed my favorite dressing gown and will think of you when I feel how soft it is.
I'll be in a share room - Workcover doesn't pay for private room. But I'm hoping my room mate won't use smelly products - I've let the nurse know about my chemical sensitivities.
One part of me is scared of going in. It's that fear of not knowing what will happen. Of thinking I failed to stay well. That I'm not 'sick' enough to take up a bed. That I'm putting a burden on my family and friends again - looking after my son and my 3 dogs. All that negative talk.
I'm also looking forward to having a break from responsibilities - my son and 3 dogs. Quitting the drinking (maybe the cigarettes too). Getting my meds checked and hopefully increased. But also relearning better coping techniques. So I can see the benefit of going.

[utopia]

@Zoe7. I'll have my phone with me in hospital so I'll be checking in on you.<br>Even though I'm not in the best head space - you can still let me know how you are going. Because I'll be thinking of you and sending you lots of love too.<br>I like how if you think of me I'll see or feel a butterfly. <br>If I think of you - you will hear an awful screeching cocky or if you feel me land on your arm - warning - Im a lot - a hell of a lot heavier than a butterfly.