Am Not Coping

[Teej]

Just having a giggle at you eating yourself @Zoe7 😂

i understand and your feelings and how much these changes rock our world. I’m so hoping that getting back to work will be so stimulating you get immersed in it. 

[Teej]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope too. Read your dinner post 😖. Here’s hoping the night gets better from here. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

The kids have roped us into a computer game .... about cooking ....  in a restaurant ..... lol

They have a wicked sense of humour ..... 😏

[Zoe7]

hahaha @Teej I hadn't thought of it like that - but now that you mention it it does sound funny 

I am having serious doubts that I can go back to work and that brings with it concerns about money and where to from here. I know I need to wait and see what HR and the Principal says with the plan we talked about but I am also doubting any of that will happen - so many doubts right now 

I struggled to stay safe last night and have slept most of today as a result - I don't do change well and some news hits harder - like yesterday - really not coping with this one - still not over NikNik leaving - feels like 2 of my supports are gone and that is really hard.

[Teej]

Hi @Zoe7. I know. Both these changes have rocked my world too. Pebbles has been a great support on the helpline for me since she started too. I’m guessing for you too.  Nik was my rock. The world felt ok when she was around. 

As for work work I share very similar feelings. I want to start volunteering again but some days I’m so dangerous even driving because I get caught up in my head or can’t concentrate. Then there are the no sleep nights. Everyone keeps telling me once I’m there again it won’t be like that because it’s like riding a bike and our brains still have those tracks to kick in and help us. Have my days when I believe this and then those days when I don’t. 

[Zoe7]

Yep exactly the same for me @Teej NikNIk was a rock for me too - I don't think most people here understand just how much 'behind the scenes' she did for us all here - I really miss that contact... and Pebbles has been the same - she was one person that made me realise way back when I was at my worst that I could keep going on despite how hard it was - and has continued to be such a great support. Two massive losses in my world in such a short space of time - so I can imagine you are feeling much the same. 

As for work - I think I wanted to feel like I was ready and it takes something like this to make me think I am not - maybe I never will be and that scares me just as much as I fear what will happen if I can't go back to work - that has been the goal I have been working towards for months now and if I lose that as well then I think that will be the end for me!

[Teej]

I know I’m supposed to say something different but I get it @Zoe7, all of it. It’s a me too thing. 

[Zoe7]

You don't need to say anything different @Teej - the fact that you get it is more than enough - it actually really helps me. Between you getting it and @Faith-and-Hope and yourself understanding how much this hurts does help 

[Teej]

Thanks @Zoe7. Going to head off for a bit now and see if I can eat myself 😜😂. Just realised I haven’t eaten anything today. 

Night @Faith-and-Hope too. 

💜🤗

[Zoe7]

Thank you so much for your understanding tonight @Teej - I actually really needed that Hon  Enjoy eating yourself lol (that nearly raised a smile out of me!)

Look after yourself Teej - you are important to me (always have been)