Bastless and Odin

[Former-Member]

Hi @Bast - I do hope life improves for you. I'm glad Odin is settling in. It's a shame Hubby is not more supportive - do his comments come out of frustration with you or frustration with himself? Sometimes we take out our moods on the nearest person but 26 years is a long time to keep up that behaviour. @Faith-and-Hope and @utopia have given good advice - sometimes you need to be direct and ask "what do you really mean by that comment? Passive aggressive is not a direct form of communication and is more of a way of hiding true feelings. He does need to support you more with the workcover stuff - As someone who is also going through a similar situation I know how important it is to feel supported. I've kept all of it to myself as I don't really have anyone who understands. Please take care and say Hi to the cats from me.

[Bast]

@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@Queenie@Appleblossom@Former-Member

Hi all

Dugga thank you for your recognition, empathy and understanding - I feel your pain that you do not have someone thaty you can trust to support you. Perhaps a Bengal for you is in some ways an answer. Bengal Rescue Australia is an amazing organisation - Odin's support for a new home. The Vic leader did everything possible to support improved care of Odin with his original family when they reneged upon adoption in October . The reasons were sound, the new family had allowed their previous Bengal to escape and within a week decided it would be appropriate to replace the cat - what the? The leader reported that Odin's problems were multiple, she has done wonderful work. Odin's background is tawdry he was removed from his mother at 4 weeks of age and purchased from a bodgy breeder by his original family. He endeavoured to shift his attachment onto his new human mother, however reportedly this was not well understood or managed. The attachment disorder is so significant, he is anxious/avoidant as a result. Odin's human mother clearly struggled with the competition for affection, she had her own infants to consider. His human parent's determined that behavioural management required dragging a very large cat up by the scruff of his neck and throwing him into a room and locking him in for prolonged periods. He would subsequently drag down the bathroom towels and pee on them - resulting in further abuse.The guilt would then be resolved by overfeeding and always the primo foods. Unfortunately this included constant access to dried food - not great for any cat. 

Odin has now settled into having a wet food breakfast and dinner, he actually came downstairs today when I was providing the herd with their dinner. It will be one step at a time forever. 

The protaganist aka hubby reported today an increase in his agility, a little more confidence in leaping and climbing, again one step at a time.

I continue to hold on but the clinging is getting so much harder, your responses and thoughts help immensely. More panic is just so draining Throughout multiple episodes this is a new adventure for me, directly as a result of the mismangement of the wc claim. 

With many hugs and thoughts

Bastless and Odin

[Former-Member]

Poor Odin, sounds like he's had a hard start to life but now he's found somewhere he can feel safe and cared for. The more secure he feels the more confident he'll become. I had a cat from the animal shelter for a while - she was completely unable or unwilling to get on furniture or a bed - I don't how you could make a cat act that way. It must have been some harsh discipline. I have only the one cat now since his sister died last year from FIP. I'd like him to have a friend - would have to be a younger female who is used to dogs, older children and another cat.

I hope your WC issues have a resolution soon - it's an awful situation to be in and it becomes a waiting game to see who gives in first. Mine is now into its ninth month and my employer has shown no inclination to resolve it which will be to their eventual detriment. You can hang on too. People don't go to work to be treated like that... you deserve better

[utopia]

@Bast. Odin is so lucky to have found you to help him negotiate his way around life - with a gentle caring owner.
I have my Conciliation hearing with WorkCoveron Thursday - to be out back on ppayments. I find theur whole system and processes to be geared towards making it hard for people to keep fighting. It's not an easy process. I at least have my mum who understands and encourages me to fight WC. I have no partner, but imagine it would make it difficult if I didn't feel fully supported by one.
What's your plans for Sunday? Weather is meant to be a bit warmer. Think I'll read my book outside in the sun. Might even get the lawnmower out, if I feel inspired/motivated.

[Bast]

@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Former-Member@Queenie@Appleblossom

Hi all and especially Utopia

I hope you had an opportunity to read your book 'in the sun' and do the mowing thing as inclined. I did undertake somehting 'major' today went and saw my f-in-law in hosptial. I have been too unwell to do this before - so conscious of crying and the road trip being another source of hours of panic. I always thought panic was a fairly short experience - since all of this wc garbage it can go on and on for days - like all day and repeat again and again. I just get more exhausted. Before this wc abuse I only ever had one attack - yep that was at work, so love bullying. 

This time I did better - the entire journey to Mill park for the meet and greet for Odin and then the return trip - The Melba tunnell really pushed me. For Odin I travelled through with my eyes closed - I don't know why, just somehing set the panic into never-ending mode. 

This time I made it through by watching the sides - and yes medicated. I honestly believe that it is essential to do whatever is necerssary at the moment. I was only travelling to donvale we had to pick up the m-in-law She was kind and in so many ways (as best as she can) supportive. She knows about the wc stuff from the husband's perspective. At least now she also sortof knows mine.It was helpful to be so appreciated for coming, I was sincerely thanked and acknowledged. The hubby also did the same. I do love his family as I estranged from my own - if only they had cared like that.

Utopia - I have always admired your strength and courage and would like to send you my support for Thursday, my fur babies will also do the same - what time is your hearing and how are you feeling about it? My thoughts and strenght are with you - because I so get it. Odin soon to be super cat is with you all the way as am I.

Take care of you

Lotsa luv Bastless and Odin

[utopia]

Thank you @Bast for a beautiful letter. Sounds like your long trip to visit your father in law was easier in parts, than you thought it would be. I love how you kept your eyes open and fixed on something - the sides - to get you through the tunnel. Sounds very resourceful to me. And YOU DID IT! Well done.
I'm glad your mother in law understands your health situation a bit better now. It does make is so much easier to deal with when we have family that are understanding and supportive. How waa your father in law when you saw him? How is his health?
I did finish reading my book in the sun & then started another one. This one is about the role the Aboriginals played in the Gold rush in Victoria between 1850 & 1870. It's a very interesting book. So no, I didn't mow the grass. But I did brush all the knots out of little Abbeys coat. She's a maltese/schitzu cross and she is always in need of a brush.
I'm ignoring thinking about Thursdays hearing. It's on at 10.30. If I avoid thinking about it, thenI avoid reacting and then needing more meds. AAlthough I am worried about how I will gwt to sleep the night before. My sleep has not been good for over a week. Ages to fall asleep and then constantly waking up every hour or two. I searched the house last night, like a maniac, trying to find my sleeping tablet that I only take occasionally. Last night I needed to sleep. But no tablets in the house. I'll have to find my script and get it filled today. I definitely will be taking one or two tablets on Wednesday night. Before a normal IME -psychiatrist review that WorkCover sends me to, I normally don't sleep the night before. But I need to be alert and less muddled, when the Conciliation people are talking to me. The lawyers say they will be doing most of the talking. But they won't be in the room with me. They will be calling into the hearing, maybe Skyping. Getting too nervous now. So I'll stop talking.
Do you have any plans for the day?
I need to buy some dog food, toilet paper - all exciting stuff. I need to find that script and get it filled.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Bast - well done with your road trip. Every small victory helps get us stronger every day and leads to bigger achievements. Be proud of yourself as we are proud of you. I'm glad you have the support of your in-laws. Like yourself I'm estranged from my real family and for good reason. I understand how you feel after your WC issues - how small minded bullies can destroy your confidence and wellbeing but they'll never take away our free-will to think how we choose.

Hi @utopia - Glad to see that you have been taking some time to do some reading. Yes I know that awful feeling of being unable to sleep with a mind overloaded full of stress. My mind is probably full of many of the same thoughts as yours - meetings and hearings and lawyers and documentation. Having a lawyer and advocate is really a blessing in these situations, when you can turn round and ask them what is right and wrong and how you should respond. My hearing is still a month away but I know I have done all I can with my documentation and they can't argue with facts. Leave it to your lawyers, that's what they're for. You just concentrate on getting well.

[utopia]

@Former-Member. I haven't spoken to my lawyers for a week and a half. All they said is they wouldn't be in the room. They will be on the phone or skype and that they will answer most questions.
I don't even know what to expect. Like; how many people will be there from WorkCover? Who will they be?
I believe someone from my old workplace will be there. It better not be one of the managers in my report. Although they showed up at my final workplace meeting - even though the union said it was against the law. They still had one of the managers - the main one I complained about in my initial WorkCover complaint letter.
I'm so worried my ex employer will try and pull the same stunt. They supposedly have to have someone there & just to hit me down again - I bet they bring her - that manager.
Getting a bit worked up now. So I'll stop writing and try and focus on something else.

[Bast]

@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Former-Member@Queenie@Appleblossom

Hi all

Utopia I a m heartened to hear that you went the self care option and read in the sun - the book you have described sounds enriching is likely to balance the neglect regarding the stories and rights of our first peoples. Abbey is the luckiest puppy to have you as her mum. I am also so glad for you that you have a mum that supports, cares and advocates for you. I recall your mum's significant contribution to ensuring your care during the multiple admissions. 

I am certain that all of your preparations and having completed everything at your magneficient best will lead to the right outcome for you. it is so horrific though isn't it? The corrosion whilst unwell just continues to drag you backwards into the cesspit that you have only just climbed out of. I just loathe them for what they have done to you and Dugga, although I am reliant upon you both for your kindness and support and the knowledge that I am not alone. 

Today I stuffed up so badly. I understand the no sleep issues, I have had 3 nights of it until this morning, uppped the sleepers and succeeded in missing my desperately needed psychotherapy appointment. Now drowning in self loathing, although leaving my house is such a battle. Utopia I am hopeful that you have now resolved the issue and will therefore rest beautifully tonight.

Thank you so much for asking about the f-in-law - it is tragic. 2 years ago, at the age of 80 he was still racing around doing handy man things for his entire family. He then came close to succumbing to heart surgery and has become increasingly dependent upon m-in-law ever since. They were both so horribly in denial and would not accept any services or supports. 6 weeks ago the f-in-law had a major fall, has undergone a laminectomy and remains in a hospital bed. He believes he can return home however it is not possible unless he is ambulant. I did so benefit from discussing with him how to repair the hole in the ceiling that the protagonist's bum has recently created, I have promised him, before, during and after photos. I also enjoy doing the reno when well, although I lean more to furniture restoration and have learnt so much from him over all of these years.

Dugga, I fully agree with you and am glad that you both have lawyer input at your hearings, even if they cannot be present. They will do their legal thing regardless. I currently have Union Assist and the initial stage letter for requesting medical reports - it troubles me that I am not included to receive copies whereas the legendary GBS can.

Utopia and Dugga take good care of yourselves - we are all fighting for a valid cause - it's called human rights.

With many thoughts Bastless and Odin

[Former-Member]

Good Morning @Bast and Odin 🙂 I hope you have peace today.