Bastless and Odin

[Bast]

@utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Queenie @Niqueeta 

Dear all lovely people

Sometimes the greatest loss leads to another option. Although Bast has physically gone, the influence remains as strong as ever. My other furrbabies seem to have gone through the initial adjustment phase and are now stronger as a result. My A child certainly did handle the cat herd so well. All others tended to wander around lost as I did. Then the dynamic of feline leadership began to shift. - 
They all needed cuddles as did I, and as they developed - my furrbabies commenced developing another strategy. My baby girl (rescue at 4 weeks) is currently holding the iron throne, although Oracle another early recue is in usurping role - he is deaf and to hear his interpretation of growling and mewling is phenomomel - somehow he knows.

I lost Bast 5 weeks ago and the pain remains raw. 

We have adopted since a rescue Bengal, Odin of legendary fame. He is a 3 year old large brown spotted male, overweight and awkard at times. Odin has needed a great deal of support to adjust to his new home. He has been living in the partner's study and received a great deal of 1:1 support, protecting him from the "Crown of thorns developments" He is now catching up and has become my partner's new friend - for me I have bites and scratches that are still not healing well. It does not matter.

I still miss Bast and the TB has become necessary again. I am now trying to contend with the aftermath of the work pollution. I was (gererously) paid for by my work insurer to attend a psychiatric assessment. 

Apparently I have been pushed over the line after 4 years of discrimination and abuse. The diagnosis is really difficult as it is permanent - BPAD2. It hurt to even right that down, I was simply trying to handle PTSD for what my work has intentionally done - it is truly fabulous to conceptualise that this can happen.

I have developed panic for the 1st ever time and am not coping well, anything that happened or is related has become a trigger. The horror just goes on and on.

Bastless and Odin

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜💐💕 @Bast .....

[Former-Member]

[Faith-and-Hope]

Odin is the luckiest cat @Bast .... I hope he settles in quickly, and your feelings begin to catch up with the diagnosis in a way that helps you to apply stabilisers (I am assuming counselling and support systems have been offered along with the diagnosis ?) ..... how horrible for you that your work situation has not been caring and supportive.

The thing about cats is that they engage and love the person who loves them, no questions asked, and offer their own counselling and support in the form of excellent company and cuddles.  IMO they ought to be a somewhat compulsory part of counselling .... "please take a seat with your cat ...."

I am a little biased, but cat-less for many years now .... 😔

Sendin thou love and hugs @Bast ..... 💜💐💕

[utopia]

@Bast. I had to laugh when you wrote Odin is becoming more attached to your partner than to you! Wasn't he the one who kept asking 'are you sure you can handle another one? Lol. Seems he is the one handling Odin.
It is fascinating to watch the hirachy change after a pet has passed. There is a period of grief and loss for the other animals - but then - after a period - there must be a new leader of the pack. Fascinating dynamics.
MI Labels can sometimes be devastating. Especially when you weren't expecting a new one.
Try and focus on the positives you can. The funny things your fur babies do. I love hearing abbout them. And please be gentle with yourself. ♥♥

[Former-Member]

Hi @Bast - I'm glad Odin is settling in. Cats are funny about who they attach themselves to. My baby girl cat who passed last year attached herself to my youngest daughter which I found odd but they bonded and we were all devastated when she had to be put down due to FIP virus. I still have her brother, we got them from the shelter together. I've been thinking of getting him a friend to address the two dog versus one cat imbalance. I've been looking at Bengals as I've read they are good with dogs. I'll be looking for a younger female. I've had experience with deaf cats too - they always seem fearless I'm guessing from not being able to identify threats by sound. Sorry about the work stuff - as you know I'm going through the same thing. It's terrible that people can do that to others when by hiding behind the protection of management. I think in some ways I've been permanently damaged by what happened to me. The fact that it was done in such a sustained manner with the sanctioning of HR and management is what really hurts. I feel betrayed more than anything else. As long as people like you and me can stand up and make people accountable for their behaviour then there's hope for others who are suffering in silence. No one deserves to get treated like that. Take care.

[Queenie]

@Bast I hope to hear more adventures from Odin. He sounds like a really nice furbaby, even if he has attached himself to your partner. I see some brightness coming into your world after the loss of beloved Bast and it is interesting how the whole dynamic between animals changes when one passes away. I'm sure Odin will fit right in.  

[Bast]

@Former-Member@Queenie@Appleblossom@Former-Member@utopia@Faith-and-Hope

Hi everyone - as always so many thanks you gladden my rocky little world with your kindness and understanding.It is an interesting question - how long can you sustain yourself against the adversity of discrimination and toxic people? I admire you Utopia, as horrid as your jouney has been to attain the appropriate help - somehow you have kept on going and made it happen. BTY - Bedmarks have encouraged a snuggle snoozer delivery for you. Pity the hospital is so resistant to ensuring you are comfortable. Sleep as we all know is crucial.

I miss it! Now 3 days - because I am far to busy all night long, WTF - can't do a single thing to solve anything at 300am. I just continue to do the joys of rotissiere.

Dugga you are an absolute star - shining so brightly and assertively representing the farcical world of -we value the uniqueness of our staff. Your post has inspired me - I received an email from the delightful insurer aka pseudo case manager, nicely typed to simplify the R & R's and a link for the WC joke. I did actually enjoy, whilst I thought of you all - Responding with a remark that I had certainly reviewed the site in an endeavour to try to establish information. Tee Hee (She certainly won't) Just please hold on and keep going, for you and us all.

I am so appreciative of your understanding of my grief and the reconciliation that Odin is my partner's new friend. Utopia sweet, you pinged it - and thank you - who needed him more? Unfortuantely the partner hasn't quite got the details, clean water, kitty litter and sufficent food. At least Odin responds when I arrive with his dinner, I am greeted and allowed pats without the blood loss. Unfortuanately I think that the partner's interest have again diversified (some game thingy obsession) therefore Odin's dinner was devoured by the herd. Or if you like - official terms for a collective of furrbabies a clouder or a pounce. 

Odin and I had to subsequently undertake the dinner ritual again. He has taken up a little parading on the bannisters although uncertain and wobbly at times. For a Bengal he has become a sloth in his previous life, I will continue to encourage activity and muscle devlopment. The constrast is extreme and of course saddening. Bast always wore his undies on the outside - able to leap tall buildings and all the fine things that wild cat origin Bengals can do. Clearly not when they have spent many years locked in a room. BTY for 2 nights now, I have taken Odin and carried him to bed, protests were strong, however my juggular remains intact.

I am somehow dragging myself through my days - trying to treasure moments with by furr babies, I know my thoughts are clouded, however I can continue with my practice although the really icky thoughts are so corrosive. I do understand that having lived knowledge does actually assist my clients. I am so increasingly conscious that I am now failing to effectively cover up' 'how I am doing, my drawn face and overall sagging is becoming increasingly obvious. This is just so wrong because my 4 hours of practice I undertook during the repeated work abuse kept me going. Now I struggle everday, it is just so wrong.

With many thoughts and thank yous Bastless and Odin

[Appleblossom]

@Bast

My furbabies have saved me too.

Everybody has clouded thoughts at times. I think it is the wiser ones who admit it, cos to pretend otherwise is at the very least a fib.

Gentleigh Bentleigh

Apple

[utopia]

@Bast. Sounds like Odin won't get a choice. You are stronger, more stubborn than he (meant in a positive way). Si you will 'tame' him and he will think you are his hero/savior forever. Sounds like you have his bed time routine settled. And without the scratches. Just think, in a few months he will be a normal bengal 'tiger' - acrobating his way around the house.
Don't forget to give yourself the love and care that you are showing your furbabies. You need it most of all. ♥♥♥