Lived Experience Forum

[ScottishParrotJ]

@Zoe7

I've not 100% figured it out; I'm strongly leaning towards telling her, via the letter, but I'm going to test the waters a little first the best I can within the first 20 or so minutes. I've got some other things we have planned for the session to get through anyway. If I do give her the letter, I'll need at least half the session to go through it. Either way, I will be honest in that I have something I want to discuss but I'm really anxious; since one, she's very understanding and doesn't push me too hard, and two, my anxiety won't be well hidden most likely haha.

[Zoe7]

I wish you goodluck with it all - whatever you ultimately decide to do @ScottishParrotJ - let us know how it goes Hon. I am logging off early tonight - need an early night but will check in with you tomorrow 

[BlueBay]

Hi @ScottishParrotJ

I’ve been reading your posts and wanted to let you know what happened to me. 

I saw a male therapist for 5 years. We developed a close relationship.  He would talk about his partner snd his family even at times his childhood. We would start the session with a coffee and chocolate. As the weeks snd months went by I became close to him. But not in an intimate way. I saw him as a father figure. I wanted him to be my father. As I was estranged from my parents as a result from telling them if my childhood abuse. Christmas time would come snd I would but him a bottle of wine. His birthday I would email him. This continued like this for 5 yrs. I remember one night session - it was a very emotional session fir me. At the end of the session we both walked out of the room. I was still crying. There was no one else in the office. He came up to me snd gave me a hug. I grabbed that hug and didn’t want to let go. I thought after that that he cared fir me thst he liked me so much. I knew much later thst it was so wrong of him to do that. I was vulnerable and emotional. 

After 5 long yrs of therapy he shocked me snd told me he couldn’t htlp me snymore. I was so upset. I walked out snd had to csll the CATT team as I was not coping with that news. I was sngry. I thought how dare he. Why? 

Now I have a trauma focussed psychologist a female and she is wonderful. I can now see that what happened with that therapist was totally wrong. 

I just wanted to write what happened to me. 

Good luck with your decision. 

[Lilyq]

Hi OP I am going to differ from some of the posters and say that you should not give her the letter, it will just make things awkward. I know that's not what you want to hear but I just think it's not a good idea and will make her feel embarrassed. It is your decision though and if you feel you must then so be it but be prepared for things to feel a bit odd. 

[Zoe7]

Hey @ScottishParrotJ Checking in to see how today has gone for you - have been thinking of you today 

[BlueBay]

Me too @ScottishParrotJ 🙂

[ScottishParrotJ]

Hey guys, thank you all for the input

Sorry to hear about that former psychs inappropriate behaviour to @BlueBay ☹

I had my appointment earlier today and managed to work up the nerve to give her the letter. It worked out great! Turns out I made the right choice. She's really glad that I was able to be so honest. She assured me that its perfectly normal for me to feel this way and that it was very brave of me to bring it up. We talked about it and she wasn't weird with me at all. She's not going to stop seeing me and she doesn't think I'm weird or creepy or anything I was afraid of. She was so cool and nice about it. Honestly the weirdest behavior came from me because I was so visibly anxious 😅

She also made sure I was okay with everything before we had to end the session, which was extra nice.

Its funny, because I was already freaking out before I left today, and then my bus staight up didn't show up so I had to call the clinic to let them know I was running late, then get an uber, but it dropped me in the wrong spot. Basically I was about 15 minutes late to my hour appointment and totally threw off my initial plan, adding to anxiety significantly! It all worked out in the end though so now looking back, the string of bad luck is mostly just funny. I admit that I'm still feeling the embarrassment but I'm proud of myself for going through with it, and do not regret the decision. 

[Zoe7]

That is really great news @ScottishParrotJ and very brave of you to give her the letter. It has not only worked out well for you but your psych does seem to be very nice and supportive - that should help you in the longer term to open up more as well. It has been a really big day for you and hopefully one that highlights sometime taking those risks really pay off. You have showed great courage today and that is admirable. Well done @ScottishParrotJ 

[BlueBay]

Well done @ScottishParrotJ that was a fantastic outcome. She sounds really nice your therapist. Good on you fir taking the courage to give her your letter. Very brave 😊

[ScottishParrotJ]

Thanks @Zoe7 🙂

She is lovely, and I'm lucky to have gotten her as my psychologist. She also said she very much appreciates my acknowledgement of her being too young to actually be my mother haha and we both agreed that its awesome the world didn't end from me facing my anxieties 😆 

I appreciate that as serious as our sessions are, we've got a relaxed enough space established that we can use humour and laugh sometimes.