This is something very dear to my heart, so I wanted to put it out there and would love some feedback, if you feel up to it.
We live in a world today that is super-connected, but hollow. I am a person who loves tech and understands it well, and it has many many wonderful benefits. Except one: It is NOT a substitute for actual human connection. We have lost that today. Now, on the other hand, thank God we have things like messaging and video calls - can you imagine how much harder Covid would have been if we didn't have those things? While they are great, and I really do believe they are, they don't replace actual face to face communication.
When you talk to another person, there is so much more going on...you pick up not just what they say, but how they say it. Many times that will tell you the real story. In my experience, especially if someone is hurting, they don't always know what to say, or say something which only reveals a small part of what is going on. Ain't no amount of emojis that can make up for that (I used them a lot though, because they help and are better than nothing).
A HUGE part of communication is listening. The more you let the other person talk, the more they open up, the more they feel safe to tell you what is really going on. It's in their eyes, in their body language, the pauses, the volume of their voice and the timbre of their voice.
I think of my dear grandmother. She has been gone for many years now, but she came from a time where a sense of community was there. She loved nothing more than to just be around people. As a child I spent many hours in the company of my grandparents (mum's side - the other two were standoffish and weird, never bothered with us). As a kid, I always preferred the company of adults - I found them more stimulating. I was never a sporty kid, nor was I into academics at the time. I liked people and found them fascinating. Call me an old soul - I love philosophy and the arts, connection, depth. Reminds me too of a speech I did in class - still cracks me up how "out there" it was - I did a seven minute speech on 'nothing'...how it is far from nothing, actually an impossibility! I think I was around 14 years old....they probably thought I was weird lol. It did get a standing ovation, so maybe that is low self-esteem projecting, who knows?
Sorry to digress, I just thought it would be fun to share that. Back to the point: There is a massive need for community again. People are wonderful in the main, if you give them a chance. There is a rawness and authenticity to many people they never realise they possess. You can see it in their eyes and you can capture it in a portrait too - that is the 'real' person right there behind the eyes. You can learn so much from people's experiences, the struggles they have gone through, and then it humbles you and you realise maybe your own ones ain't quite so bad?
One of the worst things people do worldwide is compare themselves with others on social media. It's so dangerous because we all project just a certain part of ourselves digitally. Some even create a false persona. Do you realise how many "influencers" (eek, what an entitled word) post fake images - fancy houses and cars the actually don't own? Its dangerous and harmful to self-esteem, especially to the younger generation, because they chase a fantasy that is fairy dust - it doesn't exist.
We need to go back to basics - meet people, no matter where you are. It's easy - a nice compliment about a piece of clothing or accessory - I complimented an older woman on her orange glasses (always be sincere and mean it) and her face lit up! We chatted for a good five minutes in line. Other times, you could ask a simple question of someone? Maybe just a smile and an hello - you never know, you might have just made them feel noticed and less alone. All it takes is for someone to start. And if they don't respond much, that's okay too - it's nothing personal, so don't take it that way - probably has nothing to do with you, so don't worry about it. Remember, some will, some what, so what? Next. The more you engage with people, the less shy you become, the more confident you feel and the happier you start to feel inside, because what you put out there, always returns multiplied.
I hope this helped you. People are mostly good, if you give them a chance. Don't worry about the nasty ones - always a few bad apples, simply notice them, weed 'em out and try another. Peace.😚
