Lived Experience Forum

[TideisTurning]

Hi @Ybother, 

It sounds like you've been through a great deal of trauma and upsetting experiences. I'm sorry to hear of what you've had to go through. 

It sounds like you could use someone to speak to. There are many options out there and available to you, Blue Knot Foundation, Lifeline and the SANE Helpcentre will be open until 10pm if you'd like to speak to someone 1:1 non urgently. SANE has also recently started offering 1:1 peer support via webchat and book a call over the phone if that's something you might prefer. 

I really hope things improve for you soon.My thoughts are with you. Please take good care of yourself. 🌸

[Ybother]

I just want to get out of this place 

[TideisTurning]

I know you're going through a lot right now @Ybother, and I can tell that's brought up a lot of yucky feelings for you. I can understand wanting to get away from all of that and I feel like that instinct is understandable given everything. It's ok too to be in that place of struggle sometimes. I do really want to encourage you to reach out to someone, either one of the services I've listed above, another or a trusted person in your offline world you might be able to speak to if what you're experiencing starts to become too distressing or the thoughts you're having are something you plan to act on. You are very deserving of that support and you don't have to go through this alone. 🌼

[Ybother]

@TideisTurning @I may not have to go through it alone, but perhaps I'm not in the right place, just a couple of people I trust.

most I don't and experience has shown me, most of what I'm going through is better off being left alone.

im sick of people saying I'm about to make the biggest mistake of my life, or some shit,

I want to change my name phone number car ect. 
I can't be found then, as Nd I can move on then.

iv rang every service, councillors, ect, it's just not worked since I left beauty school 

[TideisTurning]

That's alright @Ybother. I feel similarly sometimes. It can be really hard to trust others, especially if you've had traumatic experiences in life where trust has been compromised or taken advantage of. You will know better than anyone else what the best thing for you is.

I apologise if it came across that I had jumped to a conclusion about your intentions. Whenever I'm unsure, I like to err on the side of caution and talk about options that are out there and available if they're needed.

From what you've just said though, it sounds like you're wanting to start over. Get a fresh start. That's understandable too, and relatable. It's something I've thought about on occassion too. How great it might be to have a clean slate with no history, where there are no prior ideas about me to start again almost. I've even had that in some small ways, when I've started a new job with new people that haven't known me before for example.

[Ybother]

Iv given up, I don't belong here, it's all yuk, I really wish I was never taken on that trip, it stuffed my whole life, and I wish people would stop touching my genitalia it's got to stop 

[Abner]

I hear your pain and I have been in similar pain, which is why I identify it in the words Shakespeare wrote when he called it "suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." What he meant was that very often trauma makes no sense, whether it's the trauma of abuse or of illhealth, and often when we suffer illhealth we also suffer abuse at the hands of  some others because some people like abusing people who are vulnerable...and we're all vulnerable at some stage.  I think you're a person who is capable of great kindness and that when this period is resolved you will show gentleness and enormous warmth to others who experience the situation you're in now.  That's an huge strength to turn an agonising experience into a reason to love, but first love yourself, and know that I care about you, and am empathising with you in the way I can.