Living with Ourselves

[Zoe7]

@Sophia1 I have bought some plats for my garden today and am just about to settle in and watch a show I recorded. I hope you have some light in your day Hon. You take care too 

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 I've said this before and I'll say it again. Good relationships are the most important thing when it comes to mental illness. I'm not exactly sure what you're dealing with Sophia. So I'm not keen to say to much...

[Appleblossom]

@Sophia1 

[Sophia1]

thank You @Appleblossom

the candles are beautiful..

I have 3 sitting on the dining room table...keep on forgetting to light them..will have to write myself another note laugh..

[Sophia1]

---

@eudemonism wrote:
@Sophia1I've said this before and I'll say it again. Good relationships are the most important thing when it comes to mental illness. I'm not exactly sure what you're dealing with Sophia. So I'm not keen to say to much...

---

Good morning @eudemonism

Thank you for your response yesterday..So much has happened within the last 6-9 months....already stated no need to go over...am recognising signs of needing to rest..time out...remembering to look after myself.

Yes 

Good relationships are the most important thing when it comes to mental illness. 

as you mentioned...

relationships with others ..

most of all 

our relationships with ourselves

I hope that you are learning to enjoy your own company more along with your precious pets...be it at home sitting in your garden that you are tending or a trip out in the car...walk along the beach..

keep on tagging me from the other thread..whilst I rest over here for a while...

take care Eude

friends for always 

[Owlunar]

---

@Sophia1

@Sophia1 wrote:

I have taken time off and am slowly reappearing so to speak..

I will only write on this thread for now  ..another form of self care for now

I feel overwhelmed trying to keep up with the busy threads and this is defeating the whole purpose of me being on the forums...

this is true care...

In writing that last sentence I recognised that the first thought that came into my mind was how selfish I was being...

This is part of my old negative patterned thinking...actually very much a part of how I have treated myself for most of my life...putting everyone else first...to the extent of not even thinking of myself full stop..

so now I am working on "I am not being selfish...I am looking after self..

take care all ...

Hi @Sophia1

This is a wonderful start for a Monday morning after taking the weekend off - I have the picture before the quote which was not my intention but here we are - one of my rules is that we do our best and don't beat ourselves up because it was not really our intention and here we are and it is still Monday morning

Someone interferred with the time over the weekend and I have to find my feet yet

Sophia - it is not at all selfish to put oneself first - we need to care for the details of our own health - eat properly, rest sufficiently, maintain a peaceful environment and allow ourselves to be when we need to and that way we can grow at our own pace

It amazes me that we feel so badly about self-care - I don't have to look far for my example - my mother and my mother-in-law were both heavy on the passive-aggression of how they were put out with the work we caused and walked out leaving it - I do seem to recall offering my help which was not accepted but here we are again - still Monday morning and I have not got far with this without blaming my mother - 

Regardless of our examples we still have this faulty message in our heads - there is no need

I am sure when Sane started the forums it did not mean for people to be overcome with the amount of data posted on different threads and to feel badly about this - this has been something I started commenting on at the beginning of my adventures with this forum - if we feel like writing on a lot of threads - and some people do - that's fine - whatever reason we come to share our experiences here some people obviously get a great deal out of having activity on different threads a lot of the time and this is fine

Others - myself included - don't - I prefer to write on a few threads and feel okay about coming in when I feel like it - this is how it works for me and I feel okay about it

And for you Sophia it works better to keep to the same thread - imo this is fine and not at all selfish

You are doing well - you are intelligent and I have picked up enough to know you have chronic pain as well as emotional discomfort and you have sold a house and moved out and have other plans about moving again when things are ready - you have a couple of bossy cats - one's enough for me - and you do have a lot to share when you are okay about it

So - I think you are doing fine - and guess what - it's still Monday morning

I could write a lot about altruism - I might do that better one day

Sending my best thoughts

Dec

---

[Owlunar]

Thanks for the support @eudemonism

It's Monday afternoon now and I can report that my day is coming together now

Also my cat seems to have recovered from her spell of passive-aggression too - I took her to the vet for her annual check-up and shots and she had her claws clipped - she has finished wrecking one of her places on my couch and starting on a different one - claw-clipping is a form of domestic cat control

And I feel as if I have taken more control over my hayfever with a nasal spray - I am so glad I mentioned this to my doctor while I was there for my regular visit - hayfever is so ordinary and so misery-making we will do anything responsible to improve the situation - I am so glad for the relief

I hope your day is as good as it can be Eude

Dec

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 You're in the middle of a big move and transition into a different home and different chapter of your life. It would surely upset and mess with anyone. I know it would upset and mess with me.

Again, it's probably the simple and small things you'll need to look toward to help get you through and make you feel settled again. A cup of tea and biscuit. A nice meal. Some self care. Some time with nature or your cats. From what I've found, there is no easy way about life, each day is a struggle, for many many people out there...

I'm in the process of change, quitting coffee, cigarettes... and learning to say no thanks, when offered alcohol... it's gonna be tough going for awhile, until things settle down.

I'm learning that i pretty much have no one except myself to rely on. However, even though I'm involved with family, friends, professionals and other community members... they're all essentially in it for themselves... so it's a rather scary revelation...

I've been selfless with many people... Some people I've been selfless with time and time and time again... and eventually someone has got to give...

Yes i am learning to be happy with my own company... I'm finally feelingsl like I'm returning to who i was and the lifestyle i was living before the mhs intervened... and it's not without its moments of depression and anxiety-but hey i think that's more normal than striving for good mental health.

Eude

[eudemonism]

Yea @Owlunar animals and their needs are a bit of a worry when it comes to health and vet bills... their basic day to day needs is one thing, but as for major health problems, vet checks, vaccines, flea and worm treatment. -it quickly adds up.

I'm lucky when it comes to hay fever. I've never had it, and i don't want it... However, I've had thing thing with my right nostril, quite often when i lean forward, I'll have this small dribble of clear fluid. Christ knows what's going on or what it's caused by. It's a little unsettling and rules me out of working in many many jobs. I don't even mention it to doctors. Because it comes down to my opinion against theirs. Ten years of education. Against my lifetime experience of being myself and walking in my shoes.

Eude

[Owlunar]

I hear you @eudemonism

A trickle of clear fluid from your nostril could be - is - unsettling - but if it comes to your being unable to work in many jobs it's not trivial

I get it - I am pretty sure it's from my sinuses - I have had severe sinus problems in the past - whatever caused that has passed with time - moving often helps - but it is something that needs medical attention

So at this time you haven't felt okay about telling a doctor - it isn't easy to do at times - eg - their 10 years of study compared with your life experience - no one likes to be be brushed off

But still it wouldn't hurt to mention it if you are seeing a doctor for some other reason - I tend to see my doctor often because I needs frequent scripts for chronic pain so I mention stuff to my doctor - it eases my mind

So - my suggestion - if it might make you feel easier about working at many jobs for example - then ask away - otherwise - if it is okay and not a bother otherwise - let it be

Yes - easy for me to say - I am so often at the doctor I get an occasional chat - I get to know my doctor better

I guess it depends which situation makes you feel better - telling an understanding doctor or saying nothing if it's not a real bother - I guess it depends how much fluid there is

All the best today Eude

Dec