Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Former-Member ..... 🌷

Sitting with you @Teej ..... 💜💐

[Former-Member]

Hi @Teej agreeing with all that faith has written. And also want to encourage you to seek Support via hospital as you have recognised it would be better. It's likely to be different because of the ward closure but not impossible to get the help you need. If they know that you are in danger of s they are likely to help find you somewhere... But also wishing that the process was easier... Look. After you please

[Teej]

Thank you @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member

my mh team do know how far I’ve fallen and I’ve had lots of support so I’ve been lucky. I really can’t face going to ED but an hour ago the shame from being this useless, hopeless, sad vegetable and having my kids go through it again. I couldn’t face them.

S1 just bought me in a plate of vegetarian pasta and a big glass of water as he said he’d worked out I’d not eaten a meal for days. None of this is fair to anyone. I’m definitely feeling the burden just now. 

The dog is being fed and I tried to play with him this morning and the kids did a food shop and went to the market without me asking them but it seems so topsy Turvey still. I’ll get through I think, not in a very effective long term way but maybe in a I survived and am trying to remember how to get back on my horse way. It’s times like this that I feel intensely lonely as I hide myself away like something not deserving anything but cruelty. 

Thank you again for being here, it helps bring the human back a little. 💜🤗

[Former-Member]

What awesome kids @Teej 🙂 

I't s a testament to your parenting that they are able to do those things for you. You should be so proud. 

You deserve all the kindness and joy in the world. I know you don't feel like it right now but hopefully seeing it here in black and white will help. 

Time to start utilising some self-compassion @Teej, what do you think? Be kind to yourself. We all have times where we feel weak, useless and low. You are no different. A fallible human being. It doesn't mean anything about your character, your values or your personality. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am glad it has brought the human back a little @Teej .... and I am blowing kisses in the direction of S1.... love that kid !!

Yes, back on your horse Hon when and as you can .... just remain mindful that it’s on the agenda and keep working toward the place when you;can put that first foot back in the stirrup .....

More hugs incoming ..... (remember this ?)

[Faith-and-Hope]

Love it @Former-Member..... ❣️✔️

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜💐 @Teej .....

[Teej]

Feeling a little confused about where to post but thought I would here. Today I had my induction for volunteering. I never thought I would get this far. The most amazing thing was I had a really terrible no good night last night where I wanted to run away from home and self harm but I held on to trying to get to the induction today.....and it was worth it. I’m feeling positive again and almost felt human there today. 

I think when we get the right support it helps so much to achieve goals. I was blessed going into this that the volunteer coordinator was very understanding and supportive of mental illness. I have had nothing but kindness and gentle support and now feel confident I can do this......not thoughts or words I’ve been able to say for a very long time. 

I really want to thank everyone at SANE (staff and forum members) for being with me on my roller coaster  and how much you have all helped me to get to this point where I actually feel like there is progress and am taking the plunge outside my four walls. Tonight I have so much gratitude for you all. 💜🤗

i don’t know what happens next but it feels like there are more steps forwards than backwards just now 💜🤗

[Faith-and-Hope]

Happy dancing here for you @Teej ..... 💜🐠💐💕🌷✔️🎉🤗

[Teej]

Ok so I was ahead of myself. Since posting this I am feeling heaps of shame. I don’t really know why, just makes me feel crazy. Every time I see progress and talk about it I self destruct. It’s not cool. Crying now and wondering how to overcome emotions both negative and positive because they both feel destructive. Am over tired and heading to bed. So sorry the above post almost made me sound sane, guess I’m not yet. 😔