At a loss for how to make things better

[cptsdhaver]

hello

I am diagnosed autistic, ADHD and the worst of all CPTSD, all of which I am receiving ongoing treatment from my psychiatrist as well as occupational therapist funded by NDIS. I live with my partner who has the same diagnoses as I do. 

We're currently in a hellish situation that neither of us and seemingly nobody else knows how to solve. Our immediately next door neighbour has to decided to torture us at all hours of the day with 24/7 pornographic noises (my partner and I both have a history of sexual trauma. It's causing us to both be triggered pretty much 24/7, we already  were living with extreme hyper tension but now it's become infinitely worse. I'm constantly being put into a state of maximum fear, causing me to forget where I am, putting me into a screaming fit.

Nobody seems to know how to help us. We tried for a long time with the police but because were the only ones enduring this problem (our neighbours aren't being targeted) they don't think it's a big deal. The noise is quiet enough that it's not immediately clear it's ongoing, but basically any silence and my partner and I can immediately hear the sounds of a woman orgasming (the sound being repeated over and over all day). We've managed to get recordings of it but again the police don't think it constitutes a "disruptful" enough noise to warrant them even just going and knocking on their door. We were told for awhile to just keep submitting noise complaints and maybe they'd hear it eventually but they started sending paramedics to our house so we stopped. They insist because we are diagnoses CPTSD that we must be hallucinating even though my partner and I both have no history of hallucinations at all, we even provided medical evidence from psychiatrist confirming as such but they insist it must be that. The noises stop if we leave the house, we know which person is doing this to us but they just don't care.

We've tried other services, when asked who to call the NDIS directed us towards the city council but the city council directed us back to the police! Very frustrating. We can't move until our lease is up in April, we are both estranged from family and have no friends so there's no where to go. Being put in public in general is already extremely taxing for both of us. 

Our physical health is in total decline because of this deranged individual. I managed to do some dishes the other day and threw my back out in the process. My partners body is so sore they can barely move or stay away during the day and I'm making it worse because I'm constantly either in a state of not knowing where I am or trying my hardest to contain my emotions and not yell. We're very worried because even when our lease is up in 8 months we have no idea how we are going to be able to physically do everything required in a move, going to inspections, packing, etc. We're both very worried one of us is going to have a heart attack or stroke or something, our bodies just feel like they are breaking. I've tried to go and knock on this person's door to have a conversation with them on multiple occasions but they just ignore me.

Any help or advice would be much appreciated

[holdinghope5]

Welcome to the forums @cptsdhaver . We can hear that the current living situation is very difficult and you've been yo-yo'd between police and the council.

I personally do not have any advice as it sounds like it is not 'loud' enough to exceed the permitted decibels.

I look forward to reading the community's responses to your situation.

[Littletinycow]

Hey mate 

I have cptsd too with sexual trauma background. 

What you're describing sounds like flooding; constant and inescapable exposure to a triggering stimulus. It's not very nice, huh. The good news is that it can also be a theraputic technique. Some info here: https://psychcentral.com/blog/ocd-and-flooding-exposure#what-is-it

Perhaps looking into some of the tools around that therapy style could give you some ideas you could use in your current situation, and perhaps bring it up with your psych too. It could even be an opportunity to re-wire your response to the memories. 

If any of your other neighbours hear it, perhaps they'll also make complaints. 

[Cara_in_Yellow]

That would be so awful. To be constantly triggered like that.

I’m hesitant to make this suggestion because I don’t know if it’s an option, but could you report it as something other than a noise complaint (i.e. reporting it as harassment instead). 

I’m so sorry the paramedics won’t listen to you, even with the letter from your psychiatrist. Are you able to get your psychiatrist or GP to contact the council on your behalf (having prepared them to explain why “contact the police” isn’t an option). Or to go back to NDIS now you’ve followed their advice to no avail and ask for further support? 

I don’t know if any of these will be helpful but I hope that it shows someone sees how awful that is. 

This also feels like an inadequate kind of thing to suggest, given that the issue is that your neighbour’s behaviour is appalling and should be stopped, but are you able to get headphones that can block or cancel out the noise? 

I also don’t have heaps of experience with them but BlueKnot might be an organisation worth reaching out to. My understanding is that they provide stabilisation counselling to people dealing with trauma and might be someone you can reach out to when this happens. They might also have suggestions for what could be done? 

I’m so sorry I can’t think of better ideas (I’m sure you’ve probably tried most of these or have good reasons why you haven’t). No-one should have to live in a place where they’re constantly triggered and I’m so sorry this is happening to you.