Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

[Former-Member]

Maybe ask your psychologist if there are any organisations available for home help? Its not good that you can't trust your psychologist, but maybe they are just mostly worried about your safety right now and keeping you alive. I went to the courts for a visit and walk through today, got a migraine when i got home and still feeling sick and just scared. 

nawww your lil girl sounds like my lil boy, he follows me everywhere around the house and has to know where i am at all times, then does the same at kindy with the educators there. Just helps him to feel safe so i don't mind too much. Whatever they need!!

LJ

[hiddenite]

Wow Lj
you are doing such a great job it must have been so difficult for you to look around the court. Hopefully you will feel better soon.

Our children sure do have similar behaviors.

I have to see my treating team tomorrow so scared that they will put me back in the mhu.
Nothing seems to be working.
I would just like everthing to stop.
karen

[Former-Member]

How did your meeting go today? Was there anything positive from it? Fingers crossed you are home still,

I'm feeling quite flat today but numb but it'll let me cope.

Hope you're doing ok,

LJ

[hiddenite]

Hi Lj
im sorry you are feeling so low. It's a new day I hope you managed to get some sleep and things arr a bit better. I'm thinking of you.
I met with my treating team to be told that I've got the worst case of ptsd they have ever seen. Medication doesn't help and I keep deterioating.
So they cannot help. They won't be able to continue their support.
I am lost if they can give up on me so can I.

[CherryBomb]

Hi @hiddenite,

We as a community are not giving up on you.

It can feel hard knowing how to help yourself when even the professionals supporting you seem to be struggling. 

It doesn't mean that it's impossible. As you mentioned it's a new day...

It's amazing given how challenging things are for you that you're able to provide support to others. This shows me that you do have strength to support not only other but yourself as well. 

I'm wondering what other members have done when they've felt like things are helpless to get through?

CB

[Former-Member]

I'm not giving up on you either, hoping that you too have a better day today. My psychologist really wants me to try EMDR because i've not improved much because i find it too hard to talk about 'the yukky stuff'. She has been trying to find an EMDR person for me to see to try that approach... but being in the country the closest one is 5 hours away and i can't afford multiple trips to d something like that at the moment. She thinks because of the multiple... traumas i've been through from early childhood til now that traditional talk therapy will just take too long and EMDR might give me some faster relief... Not sure if you'd be willing or able to try a new therapy (of any sort) but there are many many different paths to wellness, you are not a lost cause, you can get through this. you have a massive strength in you to have survived till now. When you get well you will be a force to be reckoned with! (not necessarily saying EMDR is the way to go though.. just my experience..)

LJ 

[PeppiPatty]

Dear Karen,

@Hiddenite

 You left your partner, a big feat.

In answer to you, @CherryBomb, tossing the stalker was a huge thing for me. I had been trying to get rid of him since about October last year. 

I was questioning my own day to day actions. 

He  had gone to see police telling them i had mental ill health issues and a policeman called me and abused me for calling them to ask him to leave  just before Christmas.

He had been caring for my doggy, Bowie and he fell in the water and drowned.

I could barely get out of bed.Tired. 

Then i decided to get support letters and avoid the police and just get Department Of Housing to move me. But i got online to Sane to get support and bang, the police were called by me and Department Of Housing are going  about moving me.

I've made an appointment with my former Psychotherapist to check on whats happening in my life.The police read my support letters. 

It worked out. 

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Former-Member

Ive had a lot of trauma as well.

Very interesting ille go online about that therapy. I had over 17 years of Psychotherapy costing thousands of dollars. My youngest son had about 26 sessions when he was about 9 years old, my oldest son about 9 years.

Would i say it was worth it? Probably for me. 

You also have a massive strength. 

[hiddenite]

Thanks
I tried EMDR for 10 months for me reliving 24 years of trauma and violence is when l became suicidal and started self harming. I have never had these issues.
I was going 2-3 times a week. At $150 a session. After 10 months she told me my trauma was affecting her quality of life. She stopped seeing me.
I had trusted her with very private details stuff I had bever told anyone.
im so lost now I don't know where to turn what do I do now.
Head is in such a mess.

[Former-Member]

you've had a lot of people let you down @hiddenite, I also had a counsellor say that they could no longer see me as I was too much for her and it was affecting her. And it shattered me and sent me backwards for a long time. Her comments to me was that if I wasnt going to leave my husband then I knew what would happen sooner or later and needed to take responsibility for that. my shame and self worth plummeted even further into the negative stratospheres that it was already with that comment! But after speaking to my (now ex 😞 ) psychologist, I really found out that she just really didnt have a great deal of skill or knowledge working with someone who had and was experiencing what I was... that's not to say that she wasnt a very kind and caring person... she was and she did a huge amount for me. So I guess I want to say that to some extent i do understand where you are coming from. The psychologist I was working with up until recently was someone who i finally was able to connect with to a higher extent than i have been able to before... even though I still couldnt let down all of the barriers most of the time to being completely open with her and but the connection allowed me to start some healing that two years ago i wouldnt have dreamed was even possible. I just want you to know that it is possible to feel better than you do know, I hope hope hope that very soon there iwll be someone come into your life who you can connect with...

Another possibility i thought of... was maybe you could try online counselling of some sort...? I find it so much easier to write than to speak out loud. When ever I use lifeline I use the chat service hehe! and same with the suicide call back line.. they offer i think 3 online counselling sessions. Another place that can do some online counselling (I think but i ahvent actually used it) is the 1800Respect website.. i think if you google that it would come up....

Please don't give up, sending big hugs your way if you want them!

LJ