Over The Edge

[Maggie]

@Appleblossom My social worker also does mobile parties for Christmas and birthdays. A one off I think. Hope you are doing ok

[Former-Member]

Good evening @Maggie

How was your day with your fur babies? Migraines are awful, I can suffer with them. It's hard to do anything then. My day was okay. I went out this morning to have my angel cross stitch quoted for framing. And it was very reasonably priced so I went ahead with it. It should be ready to pick up in about 3 weeks time. Once I get it back from the framers I will put a picture up of it.

My daughter has put an AVO out on her latest abusive boyfriend whom threaten violence towards her after she broke up with him. I keep appealing to her to really get to know someone's character before she allows a relationship. I hope she learns something from this. She has improved in her lifestyle and has been staying away from substance abuse. I hope now she can keep being this strong and meets some decent people. Her friends are drug users still though which is a worry. And I won't allow them anywhere near the house or me. That's why she has to move on and work it out. I will always be there for her.

I have been feeling very fatigued the last few days but am pushing through this. We were asked out to dinner tonight but I just can't keep up at the moment. I am more a day person presently. Just wish I could get back my fitness level I had last year. Will keep working at it. The depression plays a big role in this too I feel.

My husband will be having a lot of scans that are seeing whether his cancer has spread or not. Not an easy time but keeping positive. Wish us luck, although this will take much more than that to beat.

Tomorrow will be an easy day to rest up as the following week will be busy. Do you have any plans for tomorrow  my friend? Hope your migraine has settled now. Hugs x

[Former-Member]

---

@Maggie wrote:

@Appleblossom My social worker also does mobile parties for Christmas and birthdays. A one off I think. Hope you are doing ok

---

She is a treasure @Maggie

Sending a warm hello to @Appleblossom@Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51@Owlunar@oceangirl@Zoe7@Adge and all. How has your day been? x

[Maggie]

@Former-Member I have just had a nice long shower and I'm sitting up in bed catching up on news here. Do you have your angel on the wall? Will you share her with us? You might be out to dinner with your friends atm, if you are, I hope it's going well.

I found my social worker when the mental health team here gave up. I was too hard, too broken, no one wanted to take me on. A friend in The DID group I was attending suggested the organisation she worked for, a sexual assault counselling centre. She asked if she could make an appointment for me. Reluctantly I agreed but held out no hope. She has worked with sexually abused women her whole career, she's in her 50s, she also had a strong interest in DID. It took me ages to trust her, but I was taken by her gentleness and genuine care. We are writing a book together about my experiences with DID and the counselling techniques she is using. It may get printed, it may not, for now, it's interesting tracking progress, regress, progress, regress. It was her idea to record my songs.

Today my friend got some Botox treatment, so she's a bit brused atm, but says it's worth it. I'll stick with my wrinkles.lol. She had to sit up for at least 4 hrs afterwards, so went for a drive, walked the dogs, saw a beautiful old church and graveyard, build in the 1800. 

The anorexia is much deeper than body image with me. Not worthy of anything just skims the surface. But all a work in progress and experience.

Tomorrow her friend is going to church from hospital. She's a devout Christian and it's all part of her healing. She's coming along in leaps and bounds. So my friend will help her get ready, I will sit with the puppies and watch the world go by. I clean the van In between watching. That will take up quite a bit of time. So the week end will be over.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow? Maybe a rest day for you. I might have a rest tonight,,it's been a long day. Sleep well dear friend. Warm hug

[Maggie]

@Former-Member Looks like our posts were passing each other in the air waves. Lol. Drugs and substance abuse are very big issues, you really are having a difficult time of it, also facing scans for hubby next week. I so wish I could support you more, but I can't, but always here to listen. The AVO is a positive step, but you are right, your daughter does need to move out. I know you will always support her, she knows that also, you will also worry which will bring you down.

Depression drains everything I find, energy, thoughts, hopes, it's just one small step at a time, frustrating I know, because we want to run. So often I think of the medals the Olympic champs receive, and well deserved, but there are no medals for those of us who keep getting up time after time, reentering life, facing obstacles others don't even have to think about, true heroes in my eyes, and those of us travelling the same path, know the efforts it takes, time after time. So celebrate your heroism today my friend, well deserved.

So your Angel is being framed.....I can't wait to see the finished project. Do you have a place picked out for her. Does she have a name??

I hope you have a restful day today, a breather before a busy week. I will be out for a while as my friends sister is off to church and we are helping wherever we can. Enjoy your day. Warm hug

[Maggie]

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

I am back from holidays and enjoying being at home - heavy showers and lots of washing but glad to be back - one thing about holidays is being at home

My flight back was fantastic - the plane flew down the east coast to Eden then turned east to cross the snow covered mountains - beautiful views - I have some great photos

About your daughter - I really know how hard it is to be there for people when you know enabling them is not on - I hadn't thought about it before but for your daughter to take out other loans will not help. Ah - she must have some kind of income - what would that be?

It's good she has taken out an AVO against the guy who has been molesting her - I am do glad to hear that. And she does have to move on and get new people in her life - I know from my son's life that the people we tend to gather with share their bad habits and make starting a fresh life really hard.

About your husband's pain- this has to be a serious bother - I understand - living with pain is so hard - I know - and finding out what it is can be so rough and so scary - I keep thinking about you - whattodowhattodo - wow????????

Sending lotsa hugs OTE

Dec

[Former-Member]

Hello dear @Maggie

I just loved your pictured saying - it does speak volumes. Many see sitting with the "great" as success but sitting with the broken is true success of the spirit and heart. True success of spiritual growth. Which is in my humble opinion all we take with us in the end.

Yes, substance abuse is hugely self destructive and soul destroying to watch. I did similar with alcohol when young but soon learnt. I am hoping the same for my daughter but for success she needs to move away from the influences that drag her down as she is vulnerable. There is my worry. I hope for better people to come along and rescue but in reality we know that is agai st the odds if she does not work out better values for herself. I live in hope as I love her and want her to be happy. 

I love most really, but when someone hurts another with full intention and gains pleasure and power from it I am indifferent to them. So I am not perfect. I do get angry when people deliberately hurt others for control. This nearly destroyed my daughter. But most I feel for and the difficulties they face, I don't judge them at all. I will speak the truth though as I know this will help them but not everyone likes to hear it at first, I was the same, but most are okay with that as they know I genuinely care. 

Depression is a soul destroyer, I always try to do the opposite of what it dictates. Sometimes it's hard to see past though and falling into under pressure or grief is something I am constantly trying to fight against, sometimes successful, sometimes not. Depends on my life stressors at that time. When life overwhelms is when we really need the support of others who are wise and honest.

I can't believe others gave up on such a beautiful person as yourself. But another was bought to you that could help you more! Your social worker sounds genuinely caring and this makes all the difference. 

My angel cross stitch is called Angel of Hope. I am not sure where I will hang her yet, probably in the downstairs living area where her colours blend in nicely. I will,post a photo when I get her back framed.

Its great how you are helping your sisters friend. You are a good person Maggie and I am so glad to be talking with you. I am a bit nervous today because of my husband huge day of tests tomorrow. I always get like that when his cancer reading rise so I have to put all my coping resources in place to get through. I am sure it will be a positive outcome, but it does make me nervous. He is my life. Hugs x

[Former-Member]

Hello dear @Owlunar

So good to hear from you again my friend. Your bear hug made my day. I needed it right now as I am a bit nervous due to my husband's health issues. A big day tomorrow of gruelling tests. I have to be strong for him.

Your whole holiday experience sounded magic - would love to see some pics of the scenery of your flight back.

Thats true that the questionable company our children make can lead to bad habits if they are not strong in their own minds, own worth and values. That is what happened to my daughter. But she is also freely choosing this - her self esteem is low. She has to learn to move away from these people and make wiser choices - even if that means being alone for awhile (which she can't handle). She needs to work this out as she only sees wise advice as interfering presently. They know better. She will have to learn for herself and the only way for her to do that is for her to move on. Ironically I feel grief about that but I am letting go.

Constant chronic pain is rough and scarey. It's hard to know what to do, especially when my husband does not know the source of the pain. He keeps doing things and pushing through, he I see strong but it gets to him - I think it effects me more watching. My anxiety gets worse then. I have to work on not allowing this somehow - but watching him suffer induces much anxiety in me. It's hard. But I push through somehow. Having purpose and being in nature helps here - but nothing is better than a good laugh to ease the stress. Sending a warm hug back 🤗xx

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

I will be thinking about you tomorrow - having your husband going through those tests will be horrible - aw - I had that word - mediocal tests - I have been through some of them myself

It must be really hard watching your husband having serious pain like that - I have had chronic spinal pain for - sheesh - it seems a long time - over 22 years now - I have found it better to live with it alone - that way I can please myself what I do and when I do it - and I don't have to worry about someone else in all of it

I think it must be harder watching someone you love in pain than actually having it

Because I am happier being alone with it someone asked me if that was because I have to get up and do things for myself makes me keep more active - but no - the reason is being alone with it and not having to look at someone else's expectations on the whole thing

But still - here you are with your health problems and your husband's health problems and your daughter sometimes being self-destructive - it must be so hard - you must wonder if there is anything pleasant in your future

Thinking about you and sending the best of my thouughts - I will think of you tomorrow

Dec