I am struggling at the moment

[Faith-and-Hope]

If you know that your moods are still quite changeable, perhaps you can allow yourself a number of “mental health” days a week, which means deciding each day whether that day is going to be one of the, say, three ...... it might help to take the pressure off @Teej .

When you’re finding that you are tending to use only two days a week as mental health days, then two will become the hsual for a while, with the third one still available if you need it.

Ita a baby-steps way of

allowing change to come in gradually, naturally.

[Teej]

It was the big picture stuff @Faith-and-Hope . How will I support myself stuff? What will I do that is meaningful and gives back. I looked up foster care today thinking maybe that could be something I could do and bring meaning back into my life. But the reality is there that I can’t hold myself together long enough let alone be a rock for a child. I also think it was fantasy for me. I love the idea of nurturing a child in need of nurturing but I doubt I could pull out what is needed for that. Raising kids is all I know (and not that well at that even) but my kids have turned out ok and I still have a bit of a village around me. I know in three days time that idea will be replaced by something else. I am rambling now. :face_with_rolling_eyes:. And getting tired. Thanks for your response. It is food for thought. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Giving back can come through volunteering @Teej , as one suggestion.   

Have you comsidered more web-page studies ?

[Teej]

It’s been a calendar month since I posted here and 3 weeks since I’ve been in crisis, and three weeks since I’ve self medicated. I think that’s my record just there. I just wanted to write it here as a milestone reminder to myself. 

[Appleblossom]

SO good to hear that @Teej 

Just sharing this pic as I like it and i hope you do too.

Hugs

Good for me to ponder ...

[Teej]

Oh @Appleblossom That is gorgeous. Thank you 🙏💜🤗

[outlander]

thats awesome @Teej

[Teej]

I am struggling at the moment. I’ve been trying to hold it together but keep falling apart. I SOS my therapist twice today and talked to her through the tears which seem to be taking hold. I’m ok, have taken  prn and hope to be asleep soon. I’m writing here to remind myself that there is no miracle fix. That I can’t be put in a box or label. I was trying to find answers or the label but it turns out I’m just being human. That regardless of my thoughts around what trauma looks like and i dont think I experience it, it’s possible I’m reliving trauma which has floored me. All the old stuff has come back which is different to most. I don’t experience flashbacks, just like voices that are like déjà vu. They are not like others voices but just keep telling me that I hurt. Enough of me. I’m saying goodnight and hoping everyone is ok. 💜😴

ps I wrote this post for accountability and as a reminder. 

[outlander]

hearing you @Teej 💜

[Faith-and-Hope]

Me too @Teej 💜💐