I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Thanks @Ru-bee 

[Snowie]

Well done @Captain24 for getting through your list. That can be very hard and extremely tiring. You should be proud of yourself.

Self care isn't easy. I still have thoughts of 'I'm not worth it', 'it won't change anything', 'no matter what I do I'll still be the same', etc.

It is something that I really have to focus my energy on. There are times where I force myself to do it, especially when I feel like there is no point.

It can vary for us all. Sometimes the smallest things can be classed as self care. It can be whatever you want it to be.

Some of my self care involves making myself a cuppa, brushing my hair, watching a funny clip on you tube, doing some meditation, listening to some music, reading a chapter in a book. They don't have to be significant things either.

Does it all ways help? NO

Can I always do it? NO

It's not a magic fix, but something might just make a bit of a difference.

[Captain24]

Thanks @Snowie 

Im willing to try. I need this to stop. It is causing me to partake in really risky behaviours.

I didn’t tell the hospital about that in my admission! I will talk to my Pdoc in there though. Maybe she has something too. 

I hope it’s working for you. 

Im sorry that I’ve been doing this. Maybe that’s why I keep getting into trouble. 

I go away in a week. So at least I’m trying to sort myself out. I’ve chosen to go in not encouraged

[Snowie]

@Captain24 

It is much better going in to seek help on our own terms. So much more difficult when we are forced.

You going in just shows everyone and yourself that you want things to improve. That you are willing to put in the work.

[Captain24]

I’m getting pretty anxious about it though @Snowie. The closer it gets the more scared I get. I know it will be different as I won’t get the same group as I did last time. 

I’m really not ok right now. 

thanks for your help.. 

[Snowie]

It is always anxiety provoking going in @Captain24 

It is normal to have those fears, especially when we don't know what to expect. Don't know who else will be in there, who will be in our group.

Is there anything that can help tonight? 

I've given in and got my pj's on with my oodie having some cuddles with the dog.

[ArraDreaming]

Hi cap I hope your doing ok
Good you made it the chat last night

[Captain24]

Sorry @Snowie  I went to bed early it was the best and safest thing to do. 

Im at a training day for work today, then have physio. So I won’t achieve much and I’ll get really tired and bored. 

I only have to get through 6 more days. 3 of those will be at work. 

How are you today? Do you have any plans? 

[Captain24]

TRIGGER WARNING: ED

I just had to fill out a health check, I failed the MH part which is to be expected. 

I also had to enter my weight and height. It gives you your BMI. That has gone down well with me. Plus they were talking about food and stuff that goes with it. It’s been really really triggering. 

[Captain24]

Now they are talking about my SH method