Life

[Jacques]

Dear @Former-Member,

I know how hard things get, and i know things often feel so much worse the second time around, Mentally i am more fragile now than i have ever been, i know the feeling of utter despair, i have been their often and will be their in the future, we all struggle here, we all reach out for help when we need it most.

I know it must feel very lonely and uncertain, please go see your doctor, or maybe your psychiatrist/psychologist, this will have no baring on your family court case, it falls under client/patient privilege, which can only be shared with the court under the most strict circumstances.

I know the pain of being alone, not having a soul mate to confide in or share time with, i have never had anyone special in my life, i have always been alone, @Former-Member it upsets me so that you feel you don't deserve anyone or to be happy, everyone deserves these things, even you, i know things are tough, i know how hard things get especially when you can't get enough sleep, i am in the same boat at the moment, this only magnifies our problems, and magnifies our MH suffering.

@Former-Member, please try to do 1 small thing every day to be kind to yourself, a cup of coffee, some nice perfume, when things feel like they are closing in, go for a little walk around the block with the kids, just getting out of the house for a few minutes can make a big difference.

I know how the pressure of the court stuff and your new job is getting to you, just keep reminding yourself it is almost over.

@Former-Member please call lifeline or suicide callback service if things become too overwhelming, you are doing a wonderful job caring for you and the two little ones under the circumstances.

You have so many friends here who care about you, thinking of you often

Jacques

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Former-Member

This is from @LittleBuddha and @PeppiPatty

Little Buddha told me one of his favourite movies was "It's a Wonderful Life,' with Jimmy Stewart. Its a beautiful story and relevant to the season. 

Another one of his favourite movies has Jimmy Stewart also. Called, 'Harvey.' 

Hoping that you can watch them on line....because theres a great message in both of them. 

It's just coinsidence that Jimmy Stewart is in both but they are made for him. He was a wonderful actor. And these movies shine.

Please take the time to watch them. They will change the way you look at the world. 

Love PP and LB  xxx

[Appleblossom]

That movie is wonderful, @PeppiPattybut I am afraid we are only third or fourth class angels on this site ... so I hope higher level angels and burly santas can respond to everybody's needs.

Oh @Former-Member I have bonded on the couch over lots of classical movies with my son ... somehow they are more humane and more suitable for children than many newer releases...imho...  hoping you are ok ... the Aussie battler aint done in us yet.

@Jacques you are so eloquent about your feelings ...

[Jacques]

Oh @Appleblossom, their is no such thing as class with angels, you are all on equal ground, everyone on here is special in their own way, money, social status means nothing here, we are all equal.

Thank you @Appleblossom, i just say  what i am thinking and feeling.  

I have missed your bubbly personallity around the forums @Appleblossom, it is so nice to see you are out and about and enjoying life again.  

Take care

Jacques

[Appleblossom]

Thanks. No worries @Jacques ... I was actually joking about the movie ... "Its a wonderful life" ... where a 2nd class angel walks with Jimmy Stewart in his time of despair... if only life was as simple as Hollywood.  I am still reading and posting on the forum ... but also I have spent a lot of time here for the last 5 months ... I have neglected music practise ... but also found it an important and rich experience hearing people's honest stories instead of social bluff and bluster.

@Former-Member  still thinking of you.

[Jacques]

OMG i am silly, sorry about that, i thought, never mind, yes, from the movie.

i understand @Appleblossom, i know you have been wonderful on this forum, i am so glad you are able to start moving on and proccessing your daemons, i do hope you pop in from time to time and day hello, you are a great friend.

Take care

Jacques

[Former-Member]

Thank you all yes I have seen those movies they are very good and worth remembering. I'm finding it hard to relate back to myself though just very low and focussing on getting through to Christmas for the kids and making it good for them. Went to Carols today my daughter loves singing.
Lj

[Appleblossom]

Getting littlies through christmas is huge ... of course that will take your time and energy.

I am low key about it again this year but my baby is 23 ... and my kids have made strong stands about atheism.  I am not a traditionalist for traditions' sake ... though there are many traditions I would have liked to pursue with my children but were not able ... pick what makes sense to you ... as you are starting out with rituals or celebration style with them.

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member

I was late for Topic Tues but I thought I would just open up topic of my thoughts based on your posts there.

I have done different things at different times with my own kids.

Most people I know who are not religious talk of going to see the Myer Windows ... is there anything like that out your way?

For some Carols and Midnight Mass is interesting enough to go to as a tourist ... for something different. You can at least explain the basis of the silly season.

I dont think that routines are the be-all and end-all.  We know they are important.  My ex didnt like the midnight mass approach so we didnt do it .. but I loved it as a kid ... it can make it a bit exciting without too much effort ... then home for late supper opening presents before everybody else was allowed to ... that was a big WIN ... we knew they all had to wait til the morning ... then a glorious sleep-in while people met in the noon heat having roasts ... so weird ... then maybe go out for a local walk ... we all have to get over the morning after .. and kids of that age ... do get that at some level ... maybe some kids will be out on the latest new scooter ... but you can prepare mentally for a spin on it that encourages realistic expectations about "stuff" ... you dont have to give your kids the DREAM childhood ... later on they will appreciate some home truths if they are general and not guilt trips etc.

@Eagle is very right ... PREPARATION is key.  The advantage of having a small christmas is that you are better able to manage things ... tanties etc.

I can relate to not wanting to witness other big bustling families playing and picnicking in the park ... it can trigger depression realising more of what we dont have... but maybe dont make it a high point just one of the things you do ... as an airing ... getting fresh air and talking about all the different ways people celebrate.

We can never win at it as a competition ... embace the diversity ... point out and normalise the squabbles of others ... there is usually some on display .. you might have some good chats with your kids.

Anyway that is a few ideas ... your the mum and you might have to share it with the dad etc ... But routines are also meant to be broken on special events so a late night out can be fun ... with littlies ... I had to drive across town so my oldest got to see her biological mother every year til she was about 14. That was the non-negotiable bit for me ...Supreme Court etc... I should have bucked the system more but I was very intimidated by legalism then.

Good Luck ... however you manage.

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Appleblossom
I've not done the church stuff before at Christmas but I have told the kids the story of Christmas and my little girl is facinatee by church and always wants to go but my lil boy would make a big fuss I think.
You are so spot on in what you say about teaching kids the real life truth experiences it just feels so hard. But I rather they grow up with feeling and empathy for each other and the world than be spoilt and expect everything to be easy and handed to them as adults.
Maybe we can go looking at the Christmas lights Christmas Eve.
I'm trying to stay out of hospital but support workers are worried and I'm struggling so much. I avoided everyone and canceller appointments but they communicate (doh) and it obly made things worse. I have been staying away from posting because I don't want to say too much but it's hard