Please tell me the truth.

[Appleblossom]

I have felt the someone watching feeling ... and often referred that to a higher spirit or power or god as I was raised by a strongly religious mother.  Mostly I have "talked with" that spiritual sense ... in my imagination.

I was lucky in that I did not feel it as a threat. I am saddened that you suffer in this way. Sending you healing vibrations and wishes.

The feelings around wanting to self harm ... to me are partly about pressure ... whether it is life putting pressure on you or a person ... or your own dreams and ideals.  To manage those feelings I do calm things like breathing and meditation .. but sometimes active things like walking very fast or being physical in the garden.

@Eden1919 I dont know your doctor, but therapy does work best when there is honest communication.  Being isolated can seem like protection sometimes but it is harder to break through that isolation and make genuine connections with people.

Take Care

[Eden1919]

@frog@Former-Member@Appleblossom thanks for your replies. i have not seen my psychiatrist but i am supposed to be seeing him in a few days i am not sure what to say to him though as i feel completely hopeless that anything will help anymore i am trying so hard to stay focused but i am failing at everything and i honestly dont think i can do it anymore i am at the point where everything is too much only nobody knows or understands because everytime i try to tell them they shut me down and dont want to hear it. i am really not ok this time and i think this is the end there seems to be nothing left. sorry to bother anyone i just needed to get this out. 

[Mazarita]

Hi @Eden1919, I am hearing you. I understand what you are going through to some extent, because we have been chatting on and off on the forum for quite some time now. I feel for how much anxiety you seem to be experiencing. Perhaps when you see your psychiatrist, you might tell them about this aspect of things and ask what can be done to help it more. Wondering if you also see a psychologist, who might be able to help more with things such as breathing techniques. They can help ground us when our minds are flying too high or too far out. Main thing though is it's good to get things out on the page as you have done. I find even that in itself can improve my mood. Hugs and kind wishes, Maz

[frog]

Hearing you @Eden1919 It's good you could write how you feel. Is it possible for you to be outside a bit today? I know it's not for everyone but sometimes it helps me.

[Eden1919]

@frog@Mazarita i am seeing a psychologist but idk if it is helping lately and i have been outside a bit lately it doesnt really matter there is nothing left i just have to make it a few more days then well nevermind i guess at least the self harming helped a little. 

[outlander]

Hi @Eden1919
I found you 🙂

Thr first post just above where youve described how your feeling-hopeless, whats the point, feel like everyone shuts you down as well as wanting to sh and have suicidal thoughts i think would be a really good place to start when you see your psych teams. Maybe if you cant say it you could try writing it even in dot points and handing it to them?

Being honest is really really hard i know and wondering if your just going to be pushed aside is hard too. Im very familiar with what youve written so i get it. Im not sure exactly what to suggest as im pretty stuck too on what to do next but please know your not alone. We are here with and for you even if we dont fully understand what your going through.
Hugs ❤🌸

[Eden1919]

@outlander Thank you outlander i have tried to tell them but they just ignore it because they dont know what to do i was trying to just accept it but i dont think i can. 

[outlander]

do you think you would be able to change psychologists? @Eden1919 it doesnt seem like your being listened to which isnt helpful at all. 

is there something bothering you in particular that maybe we could help you with? im happy to help you work through some of the things and im sure many others could too. 

you could start by dot pointing them here with the ones you can say so it breaks it down abit more and we can have a look see

[Eden1919]

@outlander i cant really change psychs. the main things are my eating issues and my mood and the fact that i am a horrible person and that i ruin everything.  

[Eden1919]

@Sans911 we have been talking here.